


Covered in Colors

by nishiki



Series: Colors [3]
Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Established Relationship, Family Reunions, Fluff, Going back home, M/M, Mutant Hate, Others to be added - Freeform, Post-X-Men: Apocalypse (2016), anti mutant propaganda, movie universe, probably a bit of porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-03 17:16:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 66,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11536788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nishiki/pseuds/nishiki
Summary: After years away from home, Kurt Wagner finally finds the courage to go back home and meet his family. In Germany, however, there are different kinds of worries and problems awaiting Kurt and Pietro.





	1. Prolog

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks so SakataRi for helping me with the title, providing the knowledge about the X-Men universe I'm lacking and inspiring me with new ideas (XD) and Moahoa for supporting me and egging me on ^.-

As he sat foot on German soil for the first time after three years, Kurt felt his heart ache and his mind scream. The stress of hours spent pent up with hundreds of other passengers in this roaring, humming machine in the air with no way out only fell off of him as he first stepped outside of Stuttgart airport and breathed in the crisp air of an early morning in Germany. Baden Württemberg did not always bring the best and most comfortable memories back to the forefront of his mind, yet, with Peter by his side, Kurt was all too eager to show him the world he had grown up in.

They spent hours walking alongside the river Neckar, brushing through fields of wine alongside the hills that were tearing through the lush countryside like waves in a storm. The state was comfortably nestled in between Bavaria, Hessen, Rheinland-Pfalz, Austria, and Switzerland. The climate was warm in spring, hot in summer, wild in autumn and cold in winter, but never too warm, never too hot, never too wild, never too cold.

For the first two days, they spent their time hiking through the lush forestland, discovering picturesque little villages nestled at the feet of mountains and hills, eating on the side of the river, sleeping under the stars, drinking wine lying hidden in cornfields and fucking in the woods. Being so far away from the institute had some kind of healing effect on Kurt and his mind after everything that had happened since he first left his home, and when they would walk side by side in complete silence, just listening to mother nature, he felt that the same was true for Pietro’s troubled mind.

They were here together, just the two of them, free from all expectations or judging eyes and for a while, Kurt wanted to keep it that way. But a week after they had come to Germany, Peter started to grow restless and so, Kurt switched on his image inducer once again and ventured back into town with his boyfriend.

It was time to face his demons, time to finally go home.

****

**-End of Prolog-**


	2. Chapter 2

**June 1986 - Ellhofen, Germany**

The drops of rain were crashing hard against the windows of the small inn that was nestled in between a farm and a brewery. After arriving in Germany, Peter had been quick to learn, that there were not nearly as many people in Lederhosen and Dirndl as he had expected. And even his boyfriend had not suddenly transformed into a Schuhplattler dancing weirdo. He was still the blue, fuzzy weirdo Peter loved so much.

»So, where are all the Lederhosen? I am starting to feel as if this really is only a myth that's told to foreigners.« Peter grinned. »Admit it, it’s just one big fat lie.«

»Wait until we reach Bavaria.« Kurt chuckled as he downed his beer. »There you’ll see plenty and wish you hadn’t.«

Of course, they were quite the attraction inside the small inn in the town of Ellhofen in one of the most southern parts of Germany, Baden-Württemberg. It had been Kurt’s wish to take a break in this particular town for apparently, the circus had stayed close to Ellhofen in the past many times during his childhood. And truly, despite Kurt’s looks, some people were more interested in Peter than the blue elf, as if they would still remember him from his circus days. But Kurt was still attracting attention and weird looks nevertheless.

He had almost expected Kurt to be a lot more self-conscious about the staring of those strangers around them, but he wasn't. Oddly enough, he was not lowering his gaze when someone looked in disgust at him, in fact, Peter had already seen him raising his chin instead and standing even taller. A part of him hoped that Kurt was now done with growing, otherwise he would soon tower over Peter and that he could not have. He would be forced to wear thicker soles. ridiculous. »I have to say« Peter finally grinned over the rim of his thick beer glass as he looked at Kurt, catching him off guard as the elf was staring into the rain outside. Typical German weather, as Kurt had stated while driving down the Autobahn - something Peter gladly left to Kurt. Despite what he had heard in the past, the German Autobahn scared the living crap out of him, Kurt, however, had shown brand new qualities in dealing with the high traffic and insane speed of some of the other drivers. »German beer is delicious.«

Kurt grinned and Peter felt how his left foot gently nudged him against the shin. Although he seemed to be quite content and not too bothered by the weird looks of others, Kurt was very careful when it came to showing affection towards him out in public since they arrived. Then again, he was very careful when it came to these things in the States generally too. Unlike Scott and Jean, they could not openly portray their relationship in public. »Wait until you tried the potato salad.« Kurt hummed and licked his lips in anticipation.

»Geez.« Peter laughed. »What is wrong with American _Kartoffelsalat_ , Prince Kurt?«

»It's an abomination, just like your beer.« As Peter raised an eyebrow, Kurt was quick to continue and raised his half empty glass as if to prove a point. There was still a bit of the white crest floating on the liquid. »Really! Did you even try American beer? It's yellow tinted water!«

»Are you implying American beer tastes like piss?« Peter gave his best impression of being terribly affronted by his boyfriend's words as he could already see the waitress approaching with their dinner. It was already late, although the night had not yet fallen, and Peter was glad that Kurt had decided to leave the Autobahn and come to this place for a break and to get a room for the night. Above the tap room on the first floor were four guest rooms located and to their luck, they got the last free one. Next to them, an elderly man was staying. Kurt had told him that the man was visiting his granddaughter who was living in this town but had no room for him to stay, as he had been told by the old man himself as they had met in the hallway. The other two rooms were occupied by two couples, but they hadn't seen them yet. It was a bit odd to Peter that a small inn like this was booked out ever, after all, Ellhofen was not much of a touristic hotspot, as far as he was aware. Kurt, however, was under the impression that it was not at all odd. Somehow Peter was questioning his judgment in this regard, after all, Kurt had hardly been to a place like this inn before. At least he had refrained from using the image inducer to book a room after he had been adamant to use it to go into the car rental service with Peter and during their whole travel from the US to Germany. A part of Peter could understand him, though. Kurt did not want to have more trouble than absolutely necessary on this trip. He was nervous as it was already.

As the waitress was gone again, only leaving behind a note of her very distinct perfume lingering in the air and making Kurt sneeze, he noticed how Kurt's eyes lingered on him with this mischievous little glimmer he came to love so much. »I would never dare to imply that American beer tastes like piss, _Honigbärchen_.« It was odd having Kurt use pet names for him, not just because half of the time Peter wouldn't know what it meant, but more because this was kind of Peter’s thing to tease Kurt with.

At least his boyfriend was right with one thing, as Peter had to tell him a few minutes after he had started digging into his potato salad and steak. »I’m in heaven.« He moaned between bites and Kurt just snickered satisfied with the result. The potato salad was a gift from the gods obviously. It was made with vinegar and olive oil and absolutely delicious. He was about to say something else, as he noticed how Kurt tensed, the moment the door swung open again. Only shortly he threw a glance over his shoulder as a group of young men stumbled into the inn, laughing and already chatting loudly with the innkeeper.

There was nothing too unusual about the group, just a bunch of guys around Peter’s age enjoying their free time after work as they made their way to a table not too far off from the one where he and Kurt sat. Peter did not take his eyes off of them, but he noticed that Kurt had lowered his own eyes on his plate and was decidedly not looking at the men. However, as they noticed Kurt, one of them grabbed one of his friends by the arm and quickly gestured towards their table. They broke into whispers, but Peter just glared at them and they were quick to sit down and wave for the young waitress.

»Hey, Elf« Peter turned his attention back to Kurt and quickly stole a bite of Kurt's cutlet with his fork to get a reaction from him. Usually, Kurt was all too eager to protect his food from Peter. In fact, usually, Kurt was the most likely food thief among their friends. »everything alright?«

Kurt nodded sharply and raised his eyes again to meet Peter’s before an uncomfortable little grin spread over his face. »Look at me … I'm behaving like a child. Since we got here there was no reason for me to feel anxious or frightened, yet a group of men comes into the room and I look away like a little girl.«

Peter was taken aback for a moment, but then he found himself smiling at Kurt's words and he grabbed Kurt's left hand that was lying on the tabletop to give it a short reassuring squeeze. »Nothing to be ashamed of, Babe.« He kept his voice down, adamant to not have other people listen in on their conversations, despite the fact that they were, of course, talking in English. Actually, Peter quite liked to hear Kurt talk in his mother tongue and so he had always just stood there and listened while Kurt had booked the room and their car and ordered their food. German was not at all the harsh language Hollywood movies made it out to be. Kurt actually had quite a bit of sing-sang to the melody of his speech pattern when he was talking. In this part of Germany, the _sch_ -sounds seemed much more dominant than in Kurt’s native dialect though. The _Schwaben_ always sounded as if they were mumbling into their sometimes non-existent beards.

»Still, I’m a hero, aren't I? I'm an X-Man, _the Incredible Nightcrawler_ who saved a bunch of kids from certain death.« The grin on his face told how little he really cared for people acknowledging those things about him. Kurt was not a selfish guy and he was not a self-flatterer per se. This was more of a mockery of the things he had heard before.

»Even _the incredible Nightcrawler_ is allowed to be afraid from time to time.« Peter chuckled and despite everything, he kept his hand on top of Kurt's, not willing to let go of his beautiful boyfriend so quickly again. It was moments like this when Peter would recall that he loved this German idiot to pieces. He loved it how his hair curled a little when it got moist or wet, just like it did now, he loved his weird accent and his sometimes oh so very awkward demeanor. They had not talked about it, actually, but Peter wondered if Kurt was planning on telling his family that he was gay.

If he wanted to tell them, Peter was honestly afraid of their reaction despite what Kurt said before about how open and accepting those people were. Then again, how bigoted could people like they really be? They had taken in an orphaned mutant and raised him with love and great care as it seemed. Still, the fear remained. He had thought that his own mother would react differently too, after all.

»Look, Kurtie-« He wanted to talk to him about the situation before they would get to the point where they would have missed the moment. It was better to know what they were getting into, but before he could get to that point, the loud scraping sound of wood on wood caught his attention, before a pair of heavy boots made their way towards their table.

» _Hey, Schwuchtel._ « It was one of the young men from before, accompanied by one of his friends, the rest of the group was watching from their table. They were both tall and broad in frame as they loomed over them. » _Wenn ihr Händchen halten wollt, verpisst euch gefälligst woanders hin._ [If you want to hold hands, piss off.]« It was Kurt who pulled away his hand from Peter’s and although Peter didn't understand what the guy was telling them, he understood the gesture of Kurt. Peter rose from his chair in an instant to be at eye-level with the other two men, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

»What did you say?« He demanded to know although it was maybe a bit rich to demand an answer in a language he could understand in a foreign country.

The man seemed surprised first, but he quickly caught himself and turned towards Peter again, his accent heavy, much heavier than Kurt’s. »I told you and your blue friend that if you want to hold hands, you are free to go elsewhere, fag.«

»Somehow I have the feeling you're not telling the truth.« Peter hissed and already flexed his hands, ready for a brawl if they wanted one.

 _»Pietro«_ Kurt's voice was clear and sharp as he addressed him this time and as Peter looked at his boyfriend, his yellow eyes were focused solely on him. »Just, let them be, okay? Everything is fine, they're just a bunch of bigoted idiots.«

» _Oho, hör sich das einer an!_ [Listen up!]« The leader of the group laughed and looked at Kurt. » _Die Gattin hat ein Machtwort gesprochen!_ [The consort has spoken!]« The rest of the group erupted into laughter, but Kurt still ignored them. »You better do what your wife says, right?« The man turned back to Peter. »Or are _you_ the girl?« Peter clenched his jaw, but right then, the demeanor of the man shifted and he placed one large hand on Peter's shoulder. »No for real though, man.« He addressed Peter again and seemed almost sincere this time. »I can respect a man with a fetish - as long as you won't go for it right here and now. Still, my friends and I wondered how much we would need to pay you.«

This honestly confused him and he was sure that it did show on his face judging by the snicker the man that stood beside the asshole produced. »Pay me? Pay me for what?«

» _Für was_ … For one night with this freak over there of course. Hey, I don't judge, you know? We all have our fetishes and a smart man like you could make a ton of money in renting your little freaky slut out every once in awhile.« He felt his blood boil, but suddenly he grew more and more aware of the huge golden eyes resting upon him as he was already clenching his hands into fists.

»If you want to keep all your teeth, you should leave now.« Peter hissed, his voice dark and threatening and his eyes burning with anger.

»Oh come on, I mean, I get it, no one wants damaged goods and stuff, but I promise we bring him back nice and clean.« As Peter’s expression didn't shift, the man laughed again. »Don't tell me you are actually in love with that thing.«

This was, in the end, the straw the broke the camel’s back as Peter shot forwards to hit him as fast and hard as possible without actually killing the guy. Peter’s punch against his jaw sent the man flying through the room until he slammed into the ground right in front of his friends, nudging the leg of their table as he came to a halt. The young man was knocked out cold, his jaw probably broken, therefore now they had everyone staring at them. The room had gone completely silent and behind his bar, the innkeeper had even stopped polishing his beer glasses.

In normal time, it was about ten seconds after the fact that something happened again, in Peter's time it was an eternity before one of the idiots spoke up again. » _Der da ist auch einer von diesen Freaks!_ _Sie haben meinen Kumpel angegriffen!_ [This one is one of those freaks too! They attacked my friend!]« He wheezed as he pointed at Peter. This time it was Kurt who acted fast, but not like he would have thought he would. Kurt suddenly grabbed Peter’s wrist and in a flash, they were back in their room upstairs.

Peter actually needed a second to come back to his senses, shaking his head as if to shake off the sudden dizziness that always came with sudden and unexpected teleportation. Even Kurt himself was oddly swaying as he stumbled a few steps backward and grabbed his head. He seemed fine though if agitated as he made a sudden beeline for their luggage. They were both traveling only with one large travel bag each and the clothes they were wearing. As long as it took Peter to get the dizzy feeling out of his head, so long it took Kurt to grab the pieces of clothing he had pulled out of his bag before for the next day to push them back in and close the bag hastily.

»What are you doing?« Peter finally found his voice again. A part of him was mourning his dinner. He was still a bit hungry. It was a real shame that they had fled the scene and not taking their dinner with them. Then again, why did they flee from those idiots in the first place? It was not like them to run from a fight like this.

»Packing.« Kurt shot over his shoulder, his voice was oddly shaking as he did. »We’re leaving right now.«

»Right now?« Peter repeated and his confusion was slowly rising to unknown levels. »Why? And why did you teleport us out of there? You never flee from a fight.« Even though Peter had not intended to have a fight with those humans. They were on vacation and they did not want to further aggression against mutant kind. Those people down in the tab room, however, were exactly the kinds of people who would run to the media if they would get their asses kicked by them. They would do so anyway, Peter assumed.  Kurt did not answer him, instead, he was shoving back Peter's clothes into his bag now.

He was at Kurt's side in an instant and grabbed his right wrist to hold him still and keep him from packing at least for a moment. His grip was hard, maybe a bit too hard even as he was squeezing the thin wrist of his boyfriend. »Kurt, what's wrong?« He tried again, this time a bit softer and quieter. He was not the most patient man in the world and he hated nothing more than needing to drag information and answers out of someone. Still, when it came to Kurt, he always tried his best to be calm. It was not always easy. »Come on, Elf, talk to me.«

As Kurt looked at him this time, it was easy to see that he was truly and wholeheartedly spooked by what just happened downstairs, but not in the way Peter assumed he was as it turned out. »Is it true?« He suddenly asked with wide yellow eyes as he took a step back from Peter again. His voice was still thin and shaking and he brushed off Peter’s hand as if burned by his touch all of the sudden. Needless to say that the confusion Peter had not thought could get any stronger, was now shooting through the roof.

»What do you mean, Babe?« He tried again to get a hold of one of Kurt's hands because all of the sudden he felt the distinct urge to be close to him, to hold him, to have him know how much he cared for him. Weird with what urgency this feeling suddenly overcame him. »Elf, please, come on, tell me. You can tell me everything, you know that.«

Kurt bit his bottom lip so hard he even drew a bit of blood but he still escaped from Peter's hands. »What they said! Downstairs! Is it true?« He brushed a hand through his unruly hair, shaken apparently not only by what happened with those humans. »That this is all just some sick fetish for you? Is that the reason why you wanted me in the first place?« For one moment, Peter did not know what to say. He was baffled by this sudden attack because that was exactly what it felt like and the words refused to sink into his brain, giving Kurt a chance to continue with his wild accusations. » _Ich meine_ … Now it makes sense, you know? Same with Jubilee! Of course, people like you would only want someone like me because of some fetish. _Ich hätte es wissen müssen, oder_? [I should have known, right?] Damnit, now I feel even stupider than before!«

»You really think that?« The words came out much quieter than he thought they would. He was not even boiling with anger as he would normally do. His gut felt cold like ashes of a long burned down building. »You really think so low of me? You really think I would be with you because of some fetish? You really believe people like those assholes down there? You really start questioning my feelings for you, after everything we’ve been through together, just because some asshole shits on us for being different?«

»They didn't shit on you before you showed them that you're a freak too.« Kurt hissed, but it was a sorry attempt at getting him angry. Peter could not help but chuckle at this, but it was missing the usual mirth as he did. It was more of a cynical little laugh, the only thing he was able to produce at this as he ran a hand through his hair and dropped it again as he stepped back from Kurt.

»After everything we’ve been through.« He repeated and put his hands on his hips, looking at the floor with a joyless little grin playing on his face. The disappointment in Kurt weighed much heavier than every accusation could. A part of him wanted to scream and yell at him, maybe even push him or fight him out of anger. How dare he would accuse him of something like this! How dare he put Peter into the same basket as some perverts out there! How dare he was questioning his feelings! Yet, he could not bring himself to scream at Kurt. The disappointment and sadness over this realization hit him harder than the anger ever could. A mean little voice in his head even went as far as to state that Kurt wasn't worth being screamed at, but he drowned it in an ocean of suppressed emotions like so many things before.

»Pete-«

»You can't be serious right now, Kurt.« He finally spat as he looked at him again and as if Kurt finally got what he had said, his face fell, but Peter did not give him the chance to find petty excuses. »After everything! Do you think I would have risked losing my family in telling them about us if this was just some sick fetish? Do you think I would have spent day and night at your bedside as you were in a coma last year? Do you really think I would have gone through so much shit and so much trouble for you if it was just a fetish? I mean, true, blue furred people do not grow on trees these days, but do you really think so little of me and our relationship? Of my love for you? Have I not proven myself over and over and over to you? Do you even fathom how much shit I had to listen to from our friends as we started dating or how many threats they shot at me in case I would hurt you? Lovely, how everyone is always so concerned about poor little Nightcrawler’s precious feelings. Lovely, how everyone always seems to forget that I have a heart and feelings too.«

There was no denying the fact that he was hurt. He was even more hurt than he would have ever thought possible. He had always been certain that, if this relationship would end, it would be because _he_ had fucked things up. But as Kurt now reached out to him to get a hold of his hand, he was the one pulling back. »If you really think so little of me, if you really think I am with you because of a fetish just because those idiots planted this seed in your stupid little head, then maybe we should end this right here and now.«

»Pete, I-«

»No. You know what, screw it. I don't want to hear it. I go for a walk, otherwise, I will say things I may later regret.« As if that had not already happened. He was out of the room and the inn before Kurt could protest and it was almost midnight as he came back. Walking through the rain and finding his way through the narrow labyrinth-like streets of this town, he had considered not going back at all. He could have just gone back to the airport and booked a flight back home without a problem. Yet, he came back and as he stood in front of that door, he was certain that either Kurt was already gone or that he would truly face the end of this relationship as soon as he would open the door.

The anger had overcome him later after he had already been soaked to the core when his outside had matched his frozen insides. He had risked so much for this guy. Xavier could have expelled him for getting involved romantically with a minor at that point. Their friends and teammates could have rejected him for being gay. He could have become an outcast once more among his own kind. Even his own father could have rejected him after knowing the truth. He wouldn't have felt the need to tell his family if it hadn't been for their relationship. So much shit would not have happened in the first place.

It had taken him a while and though his anger was still restless, there was something else that had occurred to him during his time alone. Kurt had been so confident since they arrived here and even before in America. He had always seemed not bothered by his appearance, proud of it even. He had gladly pulled off a little show in public whenever he had found himself being stared at. Yet, now it truly showed that this was not true at all. He was not confident. He was just a good actor. How fucked up had his self-perception to be that he thought not only so little of Peter and their relationship but of himself? How fucked up was his view of himself to come to the conclusion that Peter was in it because of some fetish? What had people had to tell him in his past that it came to this?

He felt pity. Maybe that was worse than anger. Kurt was, despite everything, a proud man. He did not like to be pitied, but at this moment in time, it was the only thing Peter could bother to feel for him. The truth was, he did not want this relationship to end. He loved Kurt, despite the nonsense from before, despite his anger and how hurt he was. He loved him and that was a truth he could not escape. But was pity really the best grounding for their relationship from now on? A part of him wanted to find those responsible for this lack of self-worth Kurt seemed to feel and gut them, but no matter how fucked up Kurt's feeling of self-worth might be, it did not give him the right to lash out like this and disregard everything Peter had done for him and their relationship.

As he entered the room, he expected to find it empty, but instead, he found Kurt sitting on the edge of their bed facing the door, his hands folded in his lap as if praying and his chin lowered to his chest almost as if he had fallen asleep. He hadn't. His eyes were still open and staring down at the ugly orange carpet. Somehow Peter could not even tell if he was angry or not. Then again, what right did Kurt think he had to be angry? It was clear though that he was still shaken up by all of this as Peter closed the door behind him and locked it. Only then Kurt's head snapped up so he could look at him. »Pietro…«

»Let's talk about it tomorrow.« Peter cut him off again. He was still soaked to the core and the storm still refused to die off. »I need a shower and then I need sleep.« Had he been tired before during dinner, now he was utterly exhausted.

He walked past the bed without a care in the world. Yes, he had come back with the intention of discussing the situation right away, but the truth was that he was afraid to do so. He did not want to hear it. He did not want to face the end. He wanted to act as if they were still perfectly happy together if only during the night. So he ventured into the adjoining bathroom and pulled off his clothes to step under the shower.

Kurt was still sitting in the same spot he sat on as Peter came back from the bathroom, only wearing a towel around his narrow hips, while he was lazily toweling down his silver curls as he stepped closer to the bed. He decided not to put on the boxer shorts he had been wearing the entire day because even they were soaked and he was too tired to get a fresh pair out of his bag. He would sleep naked. Not that he would not do so most of the times anyway.

»Pietro…« Kurt tried again to get his attention as Peter pulled back the comforter and threw both towels to the ground carelessly before climbing into bed. The mattress was way too soft for his liking and the pillows were huge. He kind of liked that. »Pietro, are you even listening to me?«

»Always, Babe, but I want to sleep now.« He tried to sound as cold and nonchalant as he possibly could but it got increasingly harder. With a frustrated sigh, he noticed how Kurt got up from his spot and began undressing. Moments later he climbed into bed next to him. Maybe he was a bit disappointed as he noticed how Kurt rolled onto his side facing away from Peter and switching off the lamp on his bedside table in the process, but then he did the same. They lay like this, not facing each other as they usually would in darkness for a while before Kurt spoke up again but this time a lot quieter. »Did you mean it?« He asked and Peter was suddenly very aware of the slight tremble in Kurt's voice. »That we should end our relationship?«

»What point is there to continue this if you think I was in it because of a weird fetish?«

»I love you. Isn't this reason enough?«

»Not if you really think so little of me. I would not want to be engaged in a relationship with someone who believes the word of strangers more than me.«

The hiccup that followed from the other side of the bed almost broke his heart but he stayed strong and stared as hard as he could out of the window on his side of the room. The curtains were not fully drawn, so he was able to watch the rain crash against the glass. The sound was almost soothing, the loudly roaring thunder not so much. »I'm sorry, Pietro.« Kurt croaked and it was evident that he tried his best not to cry, swallowing a thick lump in his throat. They both knew that Kurt was not one to easily cry. He had probably seen too much shit in his life to break down into tears every time something happened. »I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean to distrust you. I … I was such an idiot.«

»Yes, you were.« Peter mumbled. »Don't you think I would have loved to fall for someone who's not blue and fuzzy?« He then added. »Don't you think I would have preferred to fall for a nice pretty girl instead?« There was a choked sound from behind him and he was very aware that his words might be hurtful to Kurt, cruel even, still he continued. »But I didn't. I could have easily fallen for Ororo, Jubilee, Jean or even Raven instead, but I didn't. I fell in love with _you_ . I fell for the most mutant-looking mutant in the whole school and as if that wasn't bad enough, he was a guy too. Suddenly, I was gay and in love with a fuzzy blue German dude. It would have been much easier for me would I have fallen for Ororo instead. We would even fit together well, I suppose, she is one of my closest friends, after all. But I didn't. I fell for _you_ and if I would get the chance to turn back time, I would do everything exactly the same because I do love you. Because I do want to be with you. But I didn't fall for you because you are blue and fuzzy or because of some sick fetish. I fell for you because of your character. I will not lie, it took me a while to see how beautiful your true form really is. You are not conventionally attractive and yes, that is exactly what makes you attractive, but not because of a fetish, but because this is _you_ and because you have such a pure soul, such a beautiful heart that it shines right through. That's what's pulling people towards you. There will always be those who only see a circus attraction in you, but for every one of those there are at least five who love you just for your character and your good heart.«

There was movement in the bed as Kurt turned around to face Peter's back, but he still refused to do the same as he continued. »And yes, you hurt me. badly. I would have never assumed that you would ever question me and my love for you.«

»I was afraid.« His voice was barely a whisper now and finally, Peter turned around to face him. through the darkness he could see Kurt's eyes resting  upon him. »I was so afraid of those guys. Suddenly, I was fourteen again and running from a group of fascists. I never told you that but, as I was in a coma last year, I had dreams of my childhood, you know? I was sure that I was seeing my life flashing before my eyes and I wondered why most of those memories were painful. Now I know that every one of those incidents were moments in which I was tested by God to grow beyond myself. At least that's what I think is the true answer. I _hope_ that's the true answer because otherwise all of this would have been just some cruel joke.« He paused for a second before he continued with a slightly shaking voice. »And when those guys came to our table and spat those nasty things at us and as you punched the guy, I was back running from the fascists. I remembered clearly how I ran and ran and ran, how they threw rocks at me, how they struck me down in that cornfield, how they beat me up until I was sure I was going to die, how they stripped me naked and spat on me - and how I first teleported. You asked me why I fled earlier, that is why. It was instinct. It was this incident that brought my powers to life and had it not I would be dead.«

He didn't want to cave in, yet, Peter moved closer and laid his right arm over Kurt’s thin waist on top of the blanket. »But why did you think they might be right?«

»Suddenly, I was so confused, so afraid and panicked.« Kurt hiccupped again and as he leaned in to rest his face against Peter's chest, he felt hot moisture against his bare chest. »Suddenly, their words made sense to me because I was back in that time again. I was a freak again, a circus attraction just as I was in Berlin as people spat on me and threw garbage on me and laughed at me and took photos of the monster in that cage. I mean, how could anyone love something like this without needing a fetish for doing so? How could anyone look at something like me and call it beautiful?«

»The same way someone could look at a loser and thief like me and call him a hero.« He sighed. »Do you still think I have a fetish for weird looking mutants?«

»No.« Kurt mumbled. »I'm sorry. I really am.« His answer was sincere as was the self-loathing visible in his eyes as he looked up at Peter again. »Being back home, here in Germany, has me on edge, you know? I feel antsy and unsure and I feel so small. It's almost as if none of my achievements from the last couple of years would mean anything here, as if I was back to square one. But I have you with me here and I know that what I feel isn't reality. I know that my achievements do matter and I know that I love you so, so much. But I'm afraid. I'm afraid since we landed, since we left Xavier’s. I want to tell my family everything and I want them to love you as much as I do. But I'm scared of their reaction. I don't want to lose them and I don't want to lose you. And if I had to decide, I would choose you, but I’m so scared of it.«

Peter had not noticed in how much turmoil his boyfriend's mind truly was ever since they left the school. Nervous, yes, he had seen that he was nervous, anxious even, but he had not known what level of fear he was fighting. He did not need to ask why he was so afraid. Kurt had seen firsthand what could happen. Peter had been so sure that his mother would love him regardless and in the end, he had been cast out of the family by her. Maybe a part of Kurt still thought that it was his fault and maybe because of that he thought even that he wouldn't deserve anything else but the same kind of rejection.

With a sigh, he pulled him closer and wrapped his arms tightly around him. With a bit of joy, he noticed how Kurt's tail wrapped itself down Peter's right leg as he pushed it between Kurt's for a more comfortable position. truly, it was moments like this he loved the most. There was nothing sexual about their closeness now, just calm and comfort, just being impossibly close, melting into one another as the rain was hitting against the window. This was far more intimate than sex could ever be.

»You never told me that much about what happened back when you were attacked.« Peter murmured into the crown of Kurt's hair. »Thank you for trusting me with that.« It was a big deal for Kurt to talk to him about this incident for no matter how little he had talked about it in the past because he had not fully remembered it, Peter still knew how much of an impact this had had on Kurt's life and character. Sometimes something good came from bad things like this and he wondered if Kurt would be the same had this not happened to him. »Why do you think they have stripped you naked?« For a moment, he had not known if he should ask that question. It did not seem right and he did not want to tear open old wounds, yet he wanted to know and he was sure it would help Kurt if he would talk about it more.

»I don't know. No ... I didn't know it then but I think I do now.« Kurt silently replied and his breath tickled Peter's neck as he did so.

»What _do_ you think?«

»I think they wanted to do horrible things to me.« As if beating him to a bloody pulp and throwing rocks at him had not been horrible enough, but Peter knew what he wanted to say and maybe did not dare put into words.

»You mean they wanted to rape you?« He breathed but it was hard to articulate it. It was just a word but it weighed so heavily and it took so much effort to say it. Kurt stayed calm at this assumption, but Peter knew that it was hitting him harder than he was willing to let on.

»I don't think they had the intention as they stripped me down or started to chase me, but now I know that it would have come to this eventually had I not gotten away. They wanted to humiliate me. They wanted to prove their power over a mutant, over a demon, like me. They wanted to show me where my place was. What better way is there to do just that if not rape?« He still sounded calm and collected, but they both knew that thinking about how close he had gotten to this fate, would shake anyone to the core. »You know, those guys reminded me so much of them … A part of me wanted to get up and take my revenge. I would have been able to kick their ass if I had wanted to, but revenge is not the right way. I’ve learned that. The right way can only be forgiveness. They were idiots back then, they were blinded by their ideology that still stemmed from the thirties and forties. They didn't know any better, probably. That's no excuse for what they did to me, but thinking like this gives me the chance of forgiving them eventually.«

»I'm not much for forgiving assholes.« Peter sighed as he planted a kiss to Kurt's hair. »But I agree, you would have kicked their asses. You would kick everyone's ass, including mine.«

»Especially yours.« Kurt snickered and they both knew it was true. »But you really need to stop protecting me, I can take care of myself.«

Peter laughed. »I know that!« He wheezed. »Hell, I would never make the mistake of underestimating you, not after what you did to those Purifier bastards years ago! I must say, I was quite turned on as you strangled this asshole back then after I was just knocked out cold the entire time and could do nothing to be of any help.« Needless to say that their friends had laughed at him in the aftermath of that horrible incidents years ago, as they had heard what had taken place. »I’m still a little embarrassed. I wanted to be a hero for you and I had to learn the hard way that you don’t need one because you’re already one yourself.«

»Still you punched that idiot earlier.« Kurt remarked quietly and under different circumstances, he would scold Peter for this rash and unnecessary action. Now he seemed just as exhausted as Peter was, though.

»He had it coming.« Peter huffed and started rubbing circles into Kurt’s back above the blanket. »No one insults my boyfriend and gets away with it. I would do it again and you cannot stop me.« There was a small chuckle that tickled his bare chest, but then silence fell over them. Peter needed a long time to fall asleep that night because their fight and Kurt’s accusations still lingered in the back of his mind. He knew that he would need time to truly forgive Kurt for this, but he supposed that he could learn one or two things about forgiveness from the elf.

****

**-End of Chapter 2-**


	3. Chapter 3

**June 1986 - Rothenburg ob der Tauber, Germany**

Rothenburg was a beautiful town and Kurt enjoyed showing it to Peter. They had left Ellhofen right after they had enjoyed breakfast together at the inn they had been staying at the previous day. It was self-evident that the other guests and the staff who had seen or heard about the mutant-related incident had been staring at them the whole time and Kurt had been quite glad as they had left the inn quickly right after stuffing their faces with food. Peter was still amazed by the Brötchen whenever he got to eat them and Kurt had made himself a mental note that he would try and bake him some in the future. At least now his boyfriend understood what Kurt had meant in the past whenever he told him that the bread in America was an abomination for someone from Germany.

Since Peter was still not fond of the German Autobahn and how fast people tended to drive on it, Kurt had taken the wheel again. Usually, it was never a problem if Kurt would drive, but on the Autobahn, he noticed with great pleasure, how Peter was clawing at his seat in panic, always urging him to go slower. But Kurt would only tell him with a mock smile that he had learned from the best and would go even faster.

To him, it had been a very strange concept that Americans tended to let their teens drive around like they did, but shortly after his seventeenth birthday, the Professor had encouraged him to learn how to drive as well. So he had. It was no surprise that he had learned from Peter and it was no surprise either that Peter had proven too impatient to be a good driving teacher so he had swapped him for Hank, which had been a good choice looking back at it.

It was warm in the old picturesque looking town. Rothenburg was one prime example for the many towns in Germany that had been established by small settlements that had grown larger and larger through the years. Old half-timber houses stood beside modern ones. He had come here to show the town to Peter, but not just because of that, but mainly for the small church a bit aside from all the turmoil.

As they stopped by the side of the river that was dividing the town in half, Kurt climbed on top of the banister and sat down on the steel comfortably only to be joined by Peter. The church he wanted to visit was a bit farther outside of town where the houses thinned out and made room for smaller villages and settlements layered around the Bavarian town so close to the border to Baden-Württemberg.

»It's beautiful here.« Peter hummed as he placed his left hand on Kurt's right hand now that they sat side by side on the banister, just two mutants out in the open for everyone to see. It was not always easy for him to show himself in public like this. Somehow it felt very differently here in Germany, his home, than it felt in America. It was not that the people in the U.S. were inherently more accepting, although it was true that people, especially in Bavaria, were still very conservative and a bit backward at times. While the rest of West Germany was still moving on from the horrors of the second world war that lied only forty-odd years in the past in acting as differently as possible from how they acted in the past, Bavaria was still conservative and strict and Kurt could not see this state become any more different than that in the future. »I get why you wanted to come here first before moving on deeper into the state.«

Kurt wanted to kiss him as the sun was shining down on them and the world seemed to be at peace for a while. It was quiet around them during these late morning hours when most people were at work or in school. Only a few people were running up and down the sidewalks and the air was still crisp with the promise of a beautiful summer day. He still did not feel too comfortable kissing Peter in public, though. It was not so much that he would not like to kiss him in public, but he feared the backlash. Being a visible mutant was hard enough in a place like Bavaria, but being gay … Well, had he shown any signs of being gay growing up here, he might as well have strung up himself and spared everyone else the troubles to lynch him. As he had explained this to Peter in the past, he had liked to compare Bavaria with the more rural deeply southern parts of America where some people still liked to wave the Confederate flag.

»When I was very little, the circus often came here during the summer. The people were very accepting of us and they flooded our shows every year. We stayed a bit outside of town, close to a small village and I was allowed to go to church every Sunday, sometimes every day. My mother first accompanied me, but she lost interest quite quickly and so I went alone. I was terrified when I first visited the church all by myself, but the priest, Father Michael, saw how I was standing right outside and didn't dare to come into the church, so he ushered me in by himself. He took my hand and led me straight to the front row.« He remembered it still as if it had been just yesterday. He remembered how big and warm Father Michael's hand had been and how bright and loving his smile. »We stopped coming to Rothenburg at one point after the new mayor and few others started to spread rumors about us. You see, Roma people are not very liked in Germany, or in Europe in general. I consider myself as a German, I was born here after all, but explain this to an angry mob, huh? They accused us of stealing and all kinds of crimes and so we left and never came back. To me, it was like the end of the world. I was sure I would never see Father Michael again and that I would never be allowed to visit church again.«

»But your mother did not forbid it, right?«

»No. No, of course not. She was glad that I found to God, but I was not welcome in the churches I started visiting.« He still remembered the stares he got, the insults whispered in hushed voices when he had entered a church and sat down in the last bench, his face hidden in the shadows. »So I stopped and started praying by myself every night. I thought I would not need to attend the Holy Mass just to feel closer to God, after all, isn’t God supposed to see and hear everything, to be everywhere? I wanted to keep going, but I didn't want to stir up more trouble for us.«

With a little sigh, he leaned his head against Peter’s shoulder. Everyone who would see them out here would stare at them anyway, so what would it matter now? It was too hot for Kurt to wear a hoodie as he would sometimes do to hide behind when he would go someplace new and then again, he would never be able to hide who he was, so why even bother? Peter was all too eager to take his hand away from Kurt's to wrap his arm around his shoulders instead. Luckily, he had found a person who was just as tactile as he was. To their friends, it was often annoying that they would always search each other’s physical presence in some way.

»I thought about what you told me yesterday. About the attack when you was fourteen.« Peter then began out of the blue.

Kurt didn't quite know what to say. The fight of last night was still weighing heavily on him and he still felt beyond guilty and stupid. Yes, he could explain how it came to the point where he had just lost it and started to believe those thugs. He could articulate the feelings that had brought him to the point of breaking down and starting to question everything about this relationship, but this did not change the fact how wrong it had been for him to do so in the first place. Despite his feelings, he should have never questioned Peter’s sincerity. »Aha.« He mouthed and a part of him was a little afraid of what Peter might say next.

»You know, I started to understand why you were so afraid of me back at the mall when I kissed you after those bullies attacked you a few years ago.« Peter hummed and drove his fingers through his hair. An elderly woman left the bakery on the opposite side of the narrow street and walked away a bit quicker than she perhaps would have under different circumstances totally scandalized by the display of two men sitting there like lovebirds on a row. »It was probably all a bit much, wasn’t it? I mean, first, those assholes that reminded you of the attack and then I attacked you as well. Of course, you had to be afraid of me. After everything I know now, I feel a bit embarrassed for my behavior back then. I'm sorry. I said it before hundreds and hundreds of time, but I'm still sorry for being such a gamma-level idiot, Babe.«

As much as he hated most pet names Peter assaulted his ears with on a daily basis, as much he liked to hear them, especially now, especially after this awful fight they had. Peter had not yet truly forgiven him, he knew that, but he also knew that Peter tried not to hold a grudge against him and that it was on Kurt now to show him just how much Peter was loved and how sorry he really was. »At least we have that in common, right?«

The sun stood high in a clear blue early afternoon sky as Peter parked the car on the side of the quiet main street that was winding its way through the village like a snake. The street much like some of the street signs seemed oddly new. »I didn't recall it looking like this last time I was here. Last time this was a dirt road and the square in front of the church was pebble stone.« Kurt addressed the situation quietly as he leaned back in the passenger’s seat and watched the church in front of them.

»Seems they have invested a bit of money then, haven't they?«

»Yes, seems like it.« Kurt replied a little quieter as they finally got out of the car, although Kurt was much more reluctant than Peter because all of his previously build up confidence started to crumble. All of the sudden, a shitload of new questions and doubts overcame him. »But what if he isn't here anymore?« It occurred to him just now that Father Michael might have changed location by now. After all, a few years had passed since they had last met.

Peter seemed to sense how nervous he was all of the sudden as he walked around the car to the passenger’s door where Kurt still stood with the car door in hand, staring wide-eyed at the oh so familiar church. The late-gothic building was still impressive to Kurt even to this day, although the white stones that had been used for the facade started to get darker from pollution and dirt. As a child, he had spent hours looking at the large windows and coming up with stories for each one of them. »Well, we go inside and find out.« His boyfriend grinned as he took the car door from Kurt and slammed it shut before he grabbed Kurt's left hand and squeezed it a little. »You’ll see, everything will turn out fine.«

How could he even say this? Was he even aware what Kurt was about to do? That was _if_ Father Michael was still there. Peter liked to act as if all of this was no big deal, but Kurt knew that Peter was not really thinking this. It was just his way of coping with their reality.  After all, Kurt had not been the only one afraid and questioning his feelings in the past. He had a hard time getting his body to cooperate and his legs to move forward as they were slowly walking down the sidewalk. He would have much rather run away, but then again, no one was forcing him to do what he was about to do, right? It was his own free will leading him to this point. He wanted it. And he would do it.

»This is really important to you isn't it?« Peter smiled as the church came closer and closer and Kurt's heart started beating outside of his chest. He only nodded sharply but had his teeth pressed together firmly. »Don't worry.« Peter squeezed his hand one more time as they reached the wide open large church doors and nudged him inside without giving Kurt a chance to flee. This time it was Kurt who was reluctant to let go of Peter’s hand.

The church was still like it was in his memory. The dark red carpet lying on the nave leading a path from the entrance to the altar was still there and Kurt recalled much too closely for his liking how he had been lying on it, clutching the fabric, bleeding, naked, afraid. He shook off the memory and watched the Sexton polish the stone floor. The walls were still largely white but decorated with the large oil paintings that the church got from wealthy donors from time to time. The frames all richly decorated in gold, the colors heavy and bright. It was a small church and one of the few Catholic churches in this predominantly Protestant town. The interior was not too exciting so that one would not be distracted from the important things when visiting the Holy Mass. Only two rows of benches fitted into the narrow church and the only confession booth had been shoved to the side.

Today was confession day, as a small note in the display cabinet in the entrance room told him, and as he entered the church he immediately caught a glance of an elderly woman kneeling in one of the benches praying the rosary.

He had lost his rosary like everything else of personal value when those assholes in Frankfurt drugged him and sold him to those criminals from the underground fighting ring. He could have gotten a new one, of course, but somehow he had never felt like it. As he now entered the calm cool of the church, he brushed over the silver cross around his neck with his thumb and watched how Peter strolled to the closest bench to sit down and wait for him. Kurt, however, was dipping his fingers into the stoup before he crossed himself and aimed straight for the confession booth on the far right wall. Suddenly, he was not so sure anymore if God was still on his side, as he pulled away the curtain on his side of the booth and closed it again as he kneeled down on the small bench in the dark confession booth. He took a moment to drink in the atmosphere.

On the mansion's grounds, they had a small chapel which he used frequently, but it was something entirely different to a real and proper church. Only now, he started to realize how much he had missed this feeling. Inside the church, the air was always a lot cooler than outside, it was so quiet one could hear the tiniest sounds echoing from the walls and stone floor. The quietude was so serene that Kurt always felt at peace as soon as he entered a building as this and he could not even tell why that was. But he remembered hiding under the benches as a child from time to time whenever the other kids had been mean to him and it did not matter if it had been the Carney kids or those that would sometimes come from the town.

The small wooden window on behind the grit on Kurt’s side was opened as the priest on the other side pushed it to the right. Out of habit, Kurt crossed himself once more as he folded his hands on the armrest in front of him. »In the name of the Son, the Father, and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.« He closed his eyes for the Priest on the other side would be only a shadow figure anyway. »It’s been almost four years since my last confession.«

»That’s a long time, my child.« The voice was not judging and Kurt recognized it right away. His heart made a little jump. Though if Father Michael recognized him too was an enigma to him. Suddenly, his heart was beating faster again and his pulse was going crazy as his initial bravery started slipping from him without a warning.

»A lot of things have happened, Father, and I have not always been the man I should have been. I was a coward at times and I hurt a dear friend of mine in words and in action. I have been reckless at times and arrogant and endangered myself and others because of it. I sometimes lied and I fought a lot.« The confession started to tumble over his lips with not a care in the world.

»Is there more?« The question was soft and low and Kurt swallowed the lump in his throat and licked his lips before he took a deep breath to gather the courage he so desperately needed to continue.

»I lay with another man.« He then all but whispered and he felt red hot shame creeping over his neck and tinting his whole head purple. He had never been ashamed of loving Peter, at least not in the classic meaning of it. It just was what it was, right? And so he opened his eyes again. No matter how Father Michael, his childhood idol would react to this, he would not falter. Or at least that was what he told himself but the fear of rejection was strong and he was afraid that this might be against God despite everything he had been told. What if God would forsake him now? And if he did, what would this mean for him and Peter? He wanted desperately to think that it would not change anything, but was that really the truth? »I did it numerous times and I do not plan on quitting it. I fell in love with another man, I’m still in love with that man.«

»This is not a sin, my child.« The voice on the other side was gently after a moment of hesitation.

»But-«

»God is full of love, my child, and only capable of nothing but love. Haven't I taught you this before, Kurt?« His heart stopped and all he wanted to do was run out and drag the priest into a hug. »God created all of us unique and in his image, never forget that. And God does not make mistakes. As little as your devilish appearance is a mistake, as little is your homosexuality a mistake by God. He chose to create you like this to give the love in your heart to another man and that is not a sin.« Kurt breathed out audibly and if he could see him, he was sure Father Michael would smirk at this as he had always done in the past. »Is there more?«

»No.« He breathed. »I am sorry for these, and all of my sins.«

»Now for your penance, I want you to pray your rosary four times. One time for each year you haven’t been to confession.« He wanted to say that he had no rosary anymore, but he couldn't bring himself to it. It had been a gift from Father Michael after his very first confession as he had been but a child. »Let us pray the act of contrition.«

»My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us. In his name, my God, have mercy.« The words still came naturally to him and that not only because he recanted them so often before going to sleep.

»God the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of your son, you have reconciled the world to yourself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins. Through the ministry of the church, may God grant you pardon and peace. And I absolve you of your sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.«

He felt as if a weight had been lifted from him as he finally climbed out of the confession booth again. A part of him had thought Father Michael would step out as well, but he didn't and so, maybe a bit disappointed, Kurt walked towards the bench where Peter had been sitting previously. He noticed how his boyfriend was roaming around the church and looked at the icons and oil paintings in awe. He wondered if Peter had ever been in a church before as he knelt down in the bench and started praying with his eyes closed and focused solely on his penance. Father Michael had always been stern when it came to repenting for one’s soul and he was thankful for this sternness.

Yet, as a warm hand suddenly grabbed his shoulder, he was ripped from his prayers. He was certain that it was Peter, but as he opened his eyes all he could see was a rosary dangling in front of his face. »I believe you need this.« Father Michael said and again Kurt fought the urge to properly greet him. Instead, he nodded and carefully took the rosary from him. He resumed his penance in silence after this and Father Michael knelt down on the bench right next to him to join Kurt in his prayers.

He had no idea how much time had passed until he was finished and sat on the bench again, but he noticed that Peter was reading in one of the brochures that were lying sprawled out on a small table by the exit. He seemed content, it was almost cute. »Is this your man?« Father Michael suddenly asked as he sat up beside him and followed Kurt's look towards the exit. Again, Kurt felt his head turn purple.

»Yes.« He then grinned sheepishly before Father Michael gently squeezed his shoulder.

»Why don't you introduce me to him?« After his initial nervousness had fallen off of him after his confession and while praying, it now came back to drown him, as he stood and walked with Father Michael to where Peter was still skimming through the brochures. It took Kurt a moment to realize that Peter really tried to understand them although they were in German. It always filled him with a bit of joy when Peter showed interest in his culture and language. He had even tried to learn the language as soon as Kurt started teaching the younger children, but he had never quite managed to wrap his head around it.

Only as they stepped closer, Peter lifted his head to look at him and then his face fell as he looked at the Priest beside Kurt. He would not be able to hide his nervousness even if he would try to as he now quickly placed the brochure down again as if burned by it and stood up straight. »Father Michael, that's Pietro Maximoff, my boyfriend.« He quietly introduced the priest to Peter as he saw Peter’s face change through a battery of emotions in rapid speed. He had learned most of his English from Father Michael and he was quite proud to show him what progress he had made since then.

Peter was still highly nervous as he shook Father Michael's hand. »Pietro, that’s Father Michael.« And it felt good to introduce those two to one another. Two of the most important people to him in this world and he could only hope that Peter would do nothing stupid to annoy the priest.

»How about you stay for dinner?«

The atmosphere was relaxed as they sat around the dinner table. They were laughing and chatting and enjoying the food they had cooked together. Of course, Peter had mocked him whenever Kurt had sent a tomato flying to the wall and Father Michael had watched them with a twinkle in his eyes. As they leaned back in their chairs now the night hung low over the house and the neighboring church. Their bellies were full and the mood was good and Kurt was still overwhelmed by all of this.

»I still remember how you hung from the bell tower from your tail when you were six years old.« Father Michael laughed. »No one had a clue how you got up there, but you did not know how to get down again and your mother was furious! Three of the other acrobats had to climb the tower to somehow get you down again.«

»Yeah, I remember that too. I couldn't sit on my bum for a week after that…« Kurt grinned sheepishly. His mother’s wrath had been painful, to say the least, and his ears had been ringing quite badly after being yelled at by his furious mother as she had dragged him back to the circus.  

»How _did_ you get up there?« Peter laughed.

»I don't know!« Kurt replied flustered. »Apparently, _someone_ did not watch me close enough. I mean I was six, what do you expect from someone like me at that age? I mean why did no one watch me more closely? I could have ended up in a river!« He laughed but it was the priest who defended the Carney folk this time.

»They did watch you, Kurt.« He laughed. »But you were so quick it was impossible to keep track of you! Especially during your pirate phase. By God, not a place was safe from _Dread Pirate Bluetail_ back then. But the terror of the dreadful captain ended when he walked the plank after the chivalrous Captain Stefan defeated him in battle.« He told the tale like he was reading from the sermon of the Bible and Peter had a hard time stifling his laughter at that.

Kurt gave his best impression of a mock death on his chair as he slid almost to the ground and his hands pressed to his chest as if his heart had been pierced. Peter, however only stabbed him in his side with his pointy fingers as if to make sure the dreaded pirate really was dead. »Well, sadly Captain Bluetail came back a couple of years ago, I'm afraid.« Peter laughed. »Not to mention that he has not at all overcome his pirate phase.«

»It's not a phase.« The dead pirate informed both men at the table but stifled a small yawn. The day had been quite exhausting, especially after last night’s events. He had hardly gotten any sleep last night and whenever he had, he had been shaken awake regularly from his fear of the upcoming day and now that this day was behind him, he felt exhausted as his anxiousness slipped from him.

»So, where do you sleep tonight, boys?« Father Michael inquired as he raised his wine glass as if to salute them before drinking a sip. Peter was not much of a wine drinker and Kurt preferred beer and whiskey, although technically he was not allowed to drink either yet in the states. But since they were not in the states and since he was a legal adult here in Germany, he closed his fingers gently around his whiskey glass and mirrored Father Michael's salute.

»The car, I guess.« Peter chuckled mildly. »We wanted to book a room somewhere in Rothenburg but there was not a single room left for us. Big surprise, I know.«

»Probably because of me.« Kurt helpfully supplied with a devilish little smirk. It was true that it was not too easy to get a room with an appearance as his and since Peter's German was highly limited and not everyone’s English was perfect, they had not managed to get a room this time. Then again they had not tried so very hard anyway. Sleeping in their rented car was not too bad and had much of an adventure feel to it - which Kurt obviously liked very much. They would just flip their seats back, pull every blanket they had around them and sleep rather peacefully, although Kurt actually preferred sleeping under the stars.

Father Michael, however, was scandalized. »You sleep here, of course!« He immediately said. »I will not let you boys sleep in your car when there is a perfectly fine guest bedroom in my house that is not used. Last time it had been in use was actually when you crashed here a few years back.« There was no way of telling the priest no and Kurt knew this, still, he and Peter tried as a means of being polite, although both of them were quite glad that they got this invitation and the prospect of a nice relaxing shower in the morning before they would resume their travels.

Oddly enough, Peter was the first who excused himself after he had ventured out to the car to get their bags and moved them into the guest bedroom. Kurt wasn't too sure, but he could only assume that Peter thought Kurt might like to spend a little time alone with his friend the priest. He was right, of course. It wasn't as though there were things Kurt couldn't talk to Father Michael about while Peter was there with them, but it was something else still.

After Peter had already gone to bed, Kurt found himself on a small bench outside of the house side by side with Father Michael, their glasses in hands and admiring the clear starry sky. »I remember how we used to sit out here like this when I crashed here all those years ago. Now that I am here again, I have to say that I missed this in America.« Just as much as being able to talk in his mother tongue without thinking too much about it. »At the Institute it's always a bit rowdy, big surprise at a place with so many children, I know.«

Father Michael produced a low hum that almost sounded like agreement. »Do you like it there or do you wish to come back home?« The concern was dripping from his every word and somehow, it really felt nice to know that someone like Father Michael was in fact concerned for him.

It was still so very easy to talk to Father Michael even after being years apart. »No, I do like it there. It’s different, yes, but that's not such a bad thing, I guess. And I have my friends there. I have … purpose, duty … a future. Professor Xavier wants me to become a teacher at the Institute, actually. Those are all things I probably would have never gotten to experience had I stayed.«

»I can see you as a teacher. You have always been good with kids. But do you want it?«

»Yes, actually, I think I do.« Kurt hummed as he took another sip from his whiskey. »I want to teach drama and languages and I want to teach children with mutations like mine that it is okay and that there is a place where they belong and can feel loved. I was accepted there right away, no questions asked. In a matter of weeks I became part of the family without conditions. The Professor is a brilliant man and he is very caring, not just for me but for every last child in this school. He took me in as his ward as soon as the school started again and he has been nothing but good to me ever since.« It was true and Kurt could only hope and do his best to repay the kindness he had been shown by the other X-Men and the Professor.

»I must say that I am proud of what you’ve become in the last years. Who would have thought that such a man would grow from the unruly rebellious child that always played pranks on others and was too wild to be tamed by anyone?« He laughed quietly. Overhead the window of the guest bedroom was open to let in fresh air as it was Peter's habit and since at least Father Michael seemed to think that Peter was sleeping, he tried to be quiet. Kurt knew of course that his boyfriend was not sleeping, still he grinned sheepishly at him.

»It wasn't easy either.« Kurt then sighed. »Not always. I made many mistakes. I risked my life  on quite a few occasions, almost died even last year. But I never really feared the challenge. I looked forward to it as long as I could help others like me. But I won't lie, I missed home. America is strange in many regards and I needed much time to adjust. I still get homesick every now and again, mostly on the holidays or when my birthday rolls around. But it's getting better, thanks to Pete.«

Finally, Father Michael shifted a bit on the bench and turned his body towards Kurt more. »Why was it so important to you to confess to me that you are in love with this man? Did you fear the rejection of God or of me?«

»Both, I assume.« Kurt mumbled. »It's a sin. It’s sodomy, it's against the law - well, technically.« The most hated §175 of the criminal code was still in existence although it had been reformed only thirteen years ago. As long as no sexual acts were committed with a minor, consensual or not, homosexuality was no longer a punishable act by law - yet it had a stigma attached to it and Kurt was not stupid enough to think the world was more open and accepting than it really was. If anyone would know about such things it was him.

»A great many things are considered a sin, Kurt, but that usually does not keep people from committing them. I would take a homosexual over a rapist or murderer a hundred times. You two are not hurting someone else, you are in a committed relationship, you are in love and that is nothing to be ashamed of, nothing that should be punished. And in the end, it's God's duty to punish us for our sins, right?« He clasped Kurt's shoulder to give it a reassuring squeeze and although he was glad that Father Michael was so accepting and tolerant towards them, he still felt troubled. He still felt as if everything would come crumbling down on him again. It was just too good to be true. Maybe a part of him had even hoped for rejection.

»I was in such turmoil, you know? I still am sometimes. First, I didn't understand the feelings I had for Peter. He was my best friend and I felt that I wanted him around all the time and that I missed him as soon as he stepped out of the room, I probably even felt that it was more than friendship early on, but I didn't dare acting upon it, I didn't dare to even acknowledge it. I buried it under a ton of excuses and just ran into the chapel to pray. I thought this way I would get those things out of my head, after Pete first kissed me.« He sighed quietly. »It didn't work, of course, and I grew devastated. I thought God had forsaken me after all. I thought that this was my punishment and I hated everything about it - everything about me. I distanced myself from Peter, but I missed him so much that it hurt and for that I hated myself even more. I was so afraid of just letting it happen. I was so afraid of the people's reaction. I was so afraid to load another stigma onto me. I saw what people did to gays in the streets. I heard the stories, I saw it on the news. I heard the horror tales of aids and how gays would die from it in horrible pain and I was so terrified. Funny thing is, it turned out mutants can't even get infected with HIV, still either we or the homosexuals were blamed for the disease.« He had lowered his eyes to the ground as he spoke, but now that he looked at Father Michael again, he could see a bit of awe and honest concern in the priest’s eyes.

»How did you overcome this fear?«

»Through God's help.« Kurt chuckled. »And because of the things you told me when I was a kid - and today. You told me that God was love, unconditional, pure, selfless love and that he created me just the way I am because in his eyes I am perfect like this.«

»And yet you had to hear it again today.« Father Michael laughed as he brushed a hand through his thinning hair. He was no longer the dashing young priest Kurt had first met as a child. He started to grow old and time was already eating away at him.

»I wanted to be sure.« Kurt smiled warily. »And I wanted to know if you would reject me or tell me that I was on the wrong path. Every time I told myself what you told me, I felt as if I was making up excuses just so I could keep following this path.«

»Would you have changed anything then? Would you have broken up with him?« Father Michael’s voice was inquiring and sharp as he now stared him down as he had in his childhood whenever he would ask him conflicting questions. It was a test of the soul, a challenge to look deep inside his heart to come up with an honest answer. To the priest it did not matter if he would like that answer, as long as it was the truth.

»Well, that's the thing with me and sins … I commit them … I repent for them … and sometimes I keep committing them, until I master them and if I do, I etch them into my skin.« Which Peter was not a fan of. Then again, he had not done it in a long time. »But I'm afraid this is a sin I will never be able to master.«

»I’m glad to see that behind the hero is still the same Kurt Wagner I knew.« The priest grinned and leaned back against the wooden backrest of the bench again. From here they were able to overlook the small garden around the house. Kurt had once helped him to set up a herb patch on the far wall of the house. »Are you nervous to meet your family again?«

»Of course I am!« He all but blurted out then. »I am _horrified_.«

»You are going to tell them as well, yes?«

»Yes.«

»Most people wouldn't. Most people would just hide their relationship and act as if everything was normal.«

»Well I have never been one for acting normal I suppose. It’s hard when you look like me to act normal.« Kurt scoffed, although he had tried his best to be normal at times. The image inducer was the prime example of this desire of his. »Yes, we considered hiding, you know? Just telling those who absolutely had to know and otherwise act like friends. But then we didn't want to do that. It’s like you said and the professor said it as well. We are doing nothing wrong. We are not hurting anyone. We love each other and we don't want to hide that. We want to be allowed to be worrying for each other without fear of what others might think. As I almost died last year, Peter hardly ever left my side. He wouldn't have been able to do that had we decided to hide. Maybe I wouldn't be here now, had he not been with me. I am proud of our relationship and our love. We are a great team too. I considered not telling my family, but Peter risked everything as he came out to his family and he paid the ultimate price. I feel it would be cowardly not to do the same. I can't predict the result, but if I have to pay the same price as he, I will do so. I was never a coward and I want to risk it. I owe him that much.«

»How do you think they will react?« Was this honest concern in his voice? Worry maybe even?

»I honestly don't know.« Kurt sighed and gently turned his thick whiskey glass between his hands. »During the past years I got very unsure of what to make of my family, you know? And I am ashamed to admit this, but I started to question how they really felt for me. Back when I was with them, I was so sure that they loved me unconditionally, like family is supposed to, but by now I am really unsure if they have ever loved me at all or if I was just a means to make money. I know that’s unfair. I want to think that they loved me, but I’m afraid that I will learn that they never did.«

»I am sure you will be pleasantly surprised.«

»Did you ever see them again? I mean, during the last couple of years after I was gone?« The thought had already often enough occurred to him. Maybe his family had been out looking for him, travelling even to this place once more to see if he was here.

»I did, actually.« The priest admitted softly and drew in a deep breath as if he needed to fight his own exhaustion already. »They came to Rothenburg one last time half a year after you vanished. Your mother hoped she would find you with me.«

»I never meant to worry them.« He sighed and after a moment of hesitation he began to tell his story in full. »I wanted adventure and I didn't think that I would find it there. I went to Frankfurt. I befriended the wrong person. I was drugged and kidnapped. I was beaten, spat on, starved, mocked, laughed at, insulted, paraded around naked, shocked, chained, and ultimately forced to fight another mutant. I will never forget it because it felt like the proper punishment as I had to face off against an angel. I hurt him, injured his wing and I was crushed as I realized that I had broken the wing of an angel. I felt like I was truly the monster everyone else saw in me. I felt dirty and disgusted by my own misdeeds. And on the same instant I was terrified of this guy. He was so angry and full of hate. He wanted to fight and his intention was to kill, there is no question about this.«

The fight against angel as they had first met in East Berlin, would probably never leave him alone. Sometimes he still dreamed about it and wondered if there had been anything he could have done to prevent all of this. If he hadn’t broken Angel’s wing, the boy would have never fallen prey to Apocalypse and he would have never been killed in that plane crash. »You did what you had to do to survive.«

»I know that now, but back then I couldn't realize that.« Kurt frowned. From an outsider’s perspective this had to be all so easy, he assumed, but no one really understood what it had done to him and his mind. He was a good fighter, yes and he was trained him many different forms of combat by now, but still he did not like to fight and every time he would get the chance, he would try his best to avoid fighting altogether. »Then I was rescued by a woman. Years ago, I saw her on the old TV we all would gather around from time to time. She was a hero and I remember thinking that she was just like me. I never knew why I was so different, but as I saw this woman on TV how she saved the President, I grew aware that I am not the only one like this. Hell, I looked up to her so much for the longest time and last year, she finally admitted that she was in fact my biological mother. She was my mentor and she lied to me for three years and acted holier than thou. So much happened in so short a time. Thinking about it still makes me a bit dizzy.«

»So at last you found out where you came from.«

»Yes, but I cannot say that I would be proud of what I found out. My father was a mutant terrorist, a criminal, my mother was hardly any better at times. Although for a time she tried to be, as she saved mutants like me but in the end she was a liar and to this day, I still don't know the truth about how I came to be found by my true mother. She told Peter two versions of the same story and although I want to believe the story where it was all an accident, I don't know what the truth is. If it had been an accident, why had she not tried to find me then? I tried to forgive her for abandoning me and never telling me until she was found out, but until now I couldn't bring myself to forgive her.«

Father Michael placed a reassuring hand on his left shoulder and it felt exactly as it did when Kurt had still been a little boy troubled by questions about his life. »You will, eventually. But until you do, you are allowed to be hurt by her misdeeds and angry of her lies.«

»I don't think she would have ever told me the truth had Peter not overheard a conversation she had with the Professor.« He scoffed and lowered his head so much that his chin almost touched his collar bone. »She had no intentions of telling me, I know that. I didn't need to get it spelled out for me. Still, she told me that she never wanted me, that I was an inconvenience to her plans. I can't help but wonder: would she say so hurtful things to me had it all been a tragic accident? Since I am no mind reader I can only _assume_ things. Maybe she tried to push me away, who knows. In the end, it was her who helped me to get back into contact with my family and for that I have to thank her.«

»You have come a long way.« Father Michael smiled as he ruffled through his hair, Kurt immediately tried to get it back into the right style even though it did not really matter. His hair was always a bit messy anyway. »Compared to the teenager I last saw.«

»What's that supposed to mean?« He snapped as he felt his cheeks turn purple.

»Whenever we talked about your biological parents in the past, you were so resentful and withdrawn. You never wanted to talk about it. You said you were fine with the family you’ve got and that you wouldn't need anyone else. You were too proud, little one. Too stubborn. Sometimes I thought you didn't even want to think about your parents or why they have given you away. You wanted to act as if you wouldn't care but of course you did.« It was the first time that they really talked about it and Kurt was amazed that someone else had picked up on all those things about him.

»Yeah.« He breathed. »I think every orphan wants to know that. But I always thought it would be ungrateful for me to ask about it. I didn't want to hurt Mama. I didn't want her to think that she wasn’t enough or that I wanted someone else. Someone who was never there in the first place and who would not even deserve that I missed them.«

 _»Did_ you miss your real parents?«

»No.« Kurt was quick and all too eager to shake his head. »No, I don't think so. Of course, I wondered where my roots were and what my parents had to look like to produce something like me. I was curious. But I never missed them. I had a family that I loved to pieces and I never questioned the love I felt for them growing up. They raised me without question, even though it had not always been sunshine and rainbows. They are my family and Margali is my mother, as far as I am concerned. Perhaps, I will someday have some kind of relationship with my biological mother, but even if I don't, it won’t matter because I can always go back to my mother and nag her or whine about something to her. And she will always be there to console me or give me a piece of her mind.« He snickered. »I am worried, though. I want to tell my family about Peter and I. And I’m afraid that everything might change afterwards.«

»And yet you are willing to risk that for him.« Father Michael smiled. »That is a brave step forward indeed.«

»As I said, he did the same thing. It’s the least I can do. And I want my family to love me for who I am.« He paused at that and risked a glance to the open window overhead. The guest bedroom was dark, but surely Peter was waiting for him. He always complained about how hot it was in summer with Kurt in the bed and that he would sleep so restlessly because of the heat that was radiating from Kurt, but they both knew that Peter loved that in truth. »Pietro is now a part of my life and one I don’t want to miss. He is a part of me and I want them to know that.«

»I wished I could tell you how they will react or that you don’t have to worry about this, but this is something you can only find out for yourself.« He yawned a little. »I think it’s time for us to go to bed now. You two have a long way ahead of you still and you need to be well rested for it.«

As Kurt finally climbed into the small bed inside the guest bedroom, he found Peter wide awake, even though his boyfriend tried to act as if Kurt had ripped him from his sleep. Sadly, unlike Kurt, Peter was a horrible actor. They didn't speak, as Kurt crawled under the blanket and rested his head on Peter’s wide chest, snaking his left arm and his tail around him. There was only a small content hum from Peter as he closed his left arm around Kurt.

Kurt knew that he would hardly get any sleep tonight, but as he closed his eyes and felt the small kiss Peter pressed to his head as he would do almost every night, he was perfectly content with the situation. No matter what would happen next, he would still have Peter, even if it would mean that it was only them against the rest of the world.  

****

**-End of Chapter 3-**


	4. Chapter 4

**June 1986 - Munich, Germany**

The sky was a brilliant azure blue with not a cloud to be seen in the sky. Kurt said that this had not to mean anything in Germany. The weather in this country was as ambivalent as the people. Peter decided that his boyfriend was just paranoid as they pulled over to stop their car on the side of a largely deserted country road. As Peter pulled the handbrake with a deep sigh, he could not help but notice the way Kurt was manhandling the map with his six sometimes very clumsy fingers.

»Babe, you sure we’re on the right track here? As far as I see it here is absolutely nothing. Only trees. Trees as far as the eye can reach. Trees, trees, trees...« Peter would never mention that they might have gotten lost in this very rural part of Bavaria, but, well, it was indeed a very real possibility judging by how long they had been driving with any hints towards the circus despite the posters they had seen a while ago screaming Szardos’ Circus in bright and colorful letters from the sides of fences and house walls.

»I know!« Kurt sounded annoyed to the core as he threw a gloomy look at Peter from behind the map. Kurt really had not the best orientation skills, but until now they had reached every destination without a notable problem. It had not been hard though for they had largely driven on the Autobahn where they had just to follow the signs leading them onwards to their destination. Kurt’s map reading skills though … Well…

»I'm truly amazed how you always managed to reach your destination with the blackbird with those severely lacking navigation skills.« Peter mocked as he leisurely leaned on the driving wheel now.

»Shut up!« Kurt's voice was a little sharper now, mainly because it was clear that he was flustered by Peter’s comments. Kurt was very proud of being an aviator by now, but not so much of the fact that he still got lost in the mansion from time to time. »The Blackbird has a built in navigation system.« He then clarified a little quieter, before his eyes turned their attention back to Peter. »Why don't you navigate then, Mr. Loudmouth?« And with that Kurt shoved the map at Peter.  

»I don't even know where we supposed to be!« Peter laughed as he tried to deflect Kurt’s little attack but grabbed the map anyway. To him, those names on the maß were all Greek.

»Were supposed to be close to Schwedenstein.« Kurt then sighed as he leaned in to point the spot in the middle of a wooded area out on the map. »We shouldn’t be too far off. Around us should be the Perlacher Woods. Whenever we came to Munich we stayed on a large clearing in the forest, not too far off from Schwedenstein. There should be a narrow path leading from the country road into the forest.«

»Maybe we passed it already?« Peter sighed as he tried to study the map and find the path Kurt meant. Somehow he was not even sure if the path was on the map.

»Then we would be on our merry way to Austria right now…«

Peter laughed at this. He was going to see way more of Europe than he had ever thought possible on this trip with Kurt, already. Judging by their luck, they would end up in Austria anyway. »How am I supposed to find that path anyway?«

»It's called _Friedrich-Panzer-Weg_.«

» _Panzer_? Really? What's wrong with you guys?«

Somehow Kurt did not find the joke as funny as he did because he only rolled his beautiful eyes at Peter. »As if you Americans would not have strange enough names for your roads, come on.«

»Yeah, but we didn't instigate two world wars, though.«

»What's that supposed to mean?«

»Oh shush, I think I found your Panzer path.«

»Would you not call it that?« Kurt wheezed but was ultimately distracted as Peter took the map away from his hands fully to point outside of the windshield. Not even half a mile away he could see a very narrow path leading from the country road deeper into the forest. Had he not pulled over out of sheer impatience, they would have maybe found it without bickering although the path could be easily overlooked. This thought seemed to occur to Kurt too because a second later his stupid blue boyfriend started laughing his little blue ass off before throwing the map behind him onto the backseat. He was probably relieved that he would not have to deal with this map any longer as Peter started the engine again and drove on.

It was a bit odd, maybe even creepy as he pulled into the path that was leading further into the forest. Only seconds after they had left the road to maneuver the car over the dirt road, the thick forest had swallowed them whole and the previously azure blue sky was lost to them after just a few feet.

»How far do we have to go?« Peter inquired and did his best not to let his uneasiness show. Kurt picked up on it right away, naturally.

»Well, until we reach the end.« Kurt smirked and leaned closer towards him only to breathe into Peter's ear. »Relax, it's only a forest.« He then snickered as he leaned back and this time it was Peter who threw a gloomy look at Kurt before focusing on the road again. He did not want to risk hitting anything and being stuck here in some creepy German forest. »Well, then again there was this one incident that happened in this forest when I was a kid…«

»What incident?« He felt like a rabbit about to go straight into a trap. It was not that he would be scared of forests in general. But this was usually how horror movies started. A couple driving through the woods, a tragedy waiting to befall them.

»Oh … Well, I'm not sure, I was so little, you know?« Kurt shrugged. »Mama didn't want to tell me. But Stefan said that they had found a couple sliced open, their innards hanging out for everyone to see, hanging from a tree by their necks. Apparently, they had been hiking out in these woods and something terrible happened to them.«

»Like … what?«

»Mama said a bear attacked them, but Stefan said that it was the crazy old Mr. Steinherr who is living on a farm close by. Apparently, he hates strangers in his forest…« Kurt mused as he thoughtfully gazed out of his window and into the forest.

» _We_ are strangers.«

»Oh, don't worry, Stefan said he usually only attacks people who get lost or couples that show immorality towards sex.« Peter suddenly grew very aware of the three fingered hand that was slowly, oh so very slowly, driving up his right leg, closer and closer towards his crotch.

»Kurt!« Peter squealed. »Would you stop that? I don't want to be sliced open and hung from a tree!« As the first poster started to come into sight, Peter felt a sigh of relief leaving his mouth. »Did I ever mention that I hate clowns?« He frowned as they were passing the poster of Otto the clown grinning menacingly from a tree to greet them.

»You'll love Otto. He taught me juggling.« As Peter threw a glance at Kurt this time, he noticed how his yellow eyes were glued to the posters they were passing. The nervousness and agitation oozed from his every pore. This time it was Peter who grabbed for Kurt, but only to grab his left hand, pull it towards his face and plant a kiss on the blue knuckles to get Kurt’s attention as the elf turned to look at him.

»Everything will be fine.« He smiled and with a wink, he then added: »Except if Otto comes too close.«

As he reached the end of the road, he found a small pebble stone covered parking lot left abandoned and decided to park their car there. Not too far off, he could see the large circus tent towering over the trees under the clear blue sky with only the red and white striped top visible. Suddenly, even Peter started to feel a little nervous as he unbuckled his seatbelt and turned in his seat to look at Kurt. Again, his boyfriend was just staring outside the window as if he was paralyzed by the sight in front of them. The parking lot opened out into a thin pebble stone path leading straight towards the circus and the campsite where the caravans stood.

They left their bags behind for now as they left the car and started walking towards the clearing in the middle of the surrounding forest. Peter could only assume how creepy it would look during the night and yet Kurt had always painted his childhood growing up in these locations in a more romantic fashion. Then again, Kurt was a romantic guy who always saw the beauty even in the creepiest of things. Except for that doll Jean once brought back from home. Kurt had hated this ugly ass porcelain doll with all his heart and Jean had actually found joy in scaring him with it. She had just put that doll everywhere she knew Kurt would find her and positioned her in such a way that it would appear that she was looking at him. After a whole week of this prank, Kurt had been quite freaked out by the presumably haunted doll.

The closer they got, the louder the noises coming from the campsite became. From the undefined noises echoing through the forest, voices started to take shape and the unmistakable sounds of hammering, sawing and the chopping of an axe into a piece of wood. Those were not the noises Peter was familiar with from any carnival he had ever been to, those were the noises of a circus during daytime, of normal people going about their business and doing their work. It was about early afternoon as they entered the circus grounds through a wide open gate and the colorful sign overhead screamed _Szardos’ Circus_ at them.

By his side, Kurt stopped dead in his tracks as they had just stepped over the threshold and into this other world that was the circus. He wanted to take his hand and lead him on, but then he shoved his hand into the pocket of his jeans. »Everything alright?« He gently urged him onwards and only then Kurt seemed to snap out of whatever trance he had been in. He nodded sharply and slowly, very slowly, moved on. Peter couldn't help but noticed how his tail was slowly but surely disappearing between Kurt's legs before it curled around Kurt's left leg instead. The anxiousness and fear he was experiencing were radiating from his body the farther they stepped towards the big tent.

Caravans, tents and all kind of booths for the entertainment of visitors enclosed the big tent and served as a ring around the circus grounds and as they stepped through that ring, Peter was almost a bit overwhelmed by all those colors from the different tents and caravans and people around that were going about their duties. A group of children was running around in a game of tag, adults were exercising or repairing stuff.

» _Äffchen!_ « There was a shrill screech that made them both jump. » _Äffchen bist du das wirklich?_ [Monkey, is this really you?]« The voice came again and only then Peter noticed the strawberry blonde girl that was practically running towards them her eyes solely focused on Kurt. Had he been frozen into place before, there was no telling now if anyone was home in this blue head of his, but the girl came closer and without a warning, she pulled Kurt into a tight hug. The possessive part of Peter's brain roared and wanted to pry the girl off of his boyfriend, but he didn't get to, because the next moment, as Kurt remained stiff like a stick, she let go of him again, clutching his shoulders and staring him down. » _Schau nur wie erwachsen du geworden bist!_ [Look at you, all grown up!]« She exclaimed and though she was smiling brilliantly at Kurt, the wetness on her cheeks told clearly of the tears she had just shed. » _Endlich bist du größer als ich, was?_ [You are finally taller than me!]«

It was clear that it was impossible for Kurt to speak and he didn't even get the chance as the girl pulled him away without even looking at Peter first as if he was not there at all. Seconds later, Peter heard the girl yell something again in German and he followed suit as Kurt was dragged towards a group of people. » _Mama! Kurt ist zurück! Sieh nur!_ [Kurt is back! Look!]« The girl exclaimed and a collective murmur started to breathe through the circus like a gush of wind as the first few people started to move in on them. Would this be a horror movie they would all soon started to attack him and Kurt and maybe sacrifice them to some pagan god. Peter could only watch as a tall woman erupted from the group. She was well in her fifties by the looks of it and the sun kissed skin of her face showed already the first wrinkles of age around her eyes, her forehead and her mouth. She was tall for a woman and slim in frame, though certainly not as slim as she used to be. Her long skirt was swaying softly in a breeze of wind as she stood and stared at Kurt. Her long red hair framed her face in thick waves as she stepped towards the Mutant seemingly hesitant, her mouth hanging open in what could only be described as shock. It was only then that Kurt finally managed to open his mouth to speak.

» _Ich bin zuhause, Mama._ [I’m home, Mom.]«

※※※※※※※

To see the circus for the first time in years was like a dream and at the same time not at all like it had been in his mind or how he remembered it. The colors were all there, the tents looked the same, the noises were the same and yet everything was different now. In the past, he had been sure that as soon as he would go home and see the circus again, he would feel a bit more _whole_ again, a bit more like his old self that had never experienced the horrors he had gone through after he had left this place. But this was not the case, apparently. And Kurt, reluctantly, started to realize that it was not the circus or the people that were different, _he_ was. He was not the same anymore. He had changed, developed, grown, mentally as well as physically. The last became ever so clearer as his mother was now forced to look up at him with her strawberry blonde strands of hair hanging loosely in her face.

In seconds, after Amanda had dragged him towards their mother, a crowd had gathered around mother and son and Kurt had already lost track of Peter, though he was sure that the speedster was not too far off. »Dear« His mother breathed as she held onto his narrow shoulders and let her eyes wander up and down on him to the point when Kurt started to feel purple creeping into his cheeks out of pure embarrassment. »You’ve grown so much, I hardly recognize you.« His mother then laughed before she pulled him down again to press a kiss to his forehead. »Now haven't you become the most handsome devil I have ever seen, my little Nightcrawler?«

He felt the burning sensation in his eyes that always liked to betray him when he tried not to cry.  This time he decided to throw overboard his pride as he pulled his mother into an almost bone crushing hug again and almost lifted her off her feet, curling even his tail around her waist as he buried his face into her shoulder to shed the tears he had been holding for far too long. He was still so amazed by the fact that he made it home in one piece that he suddenly did not care at all for the bystanders watching him cry like a little baby. Then again, it was not news to them that he was a crybaby anyway. His crying fits during his childhood were legendary.

It took him a moment to just stand there and hold onto his mother as she brushed her slim fingers through his dark hair before he could let go again and breathed out a deep, deep sigh. »My littlest boy.« She sighed. »My most special boy.« For now, he felt as if the weight of a whole life had been lifted off his shoulders but he was aware that still a bit of weight remained on him. He still had to tell his mother the truth about him and yet he was selfish. He didn't want to blurt it out right away. He wanted to selfishly enjoy the fact that he had his mother back again - at least for now. If his mother would turn against him like Peter’s mother had, he just wanted to savor this moment and enjoy it while it lasted because it might be the last time for the rest of his life.

The collective murmur of “ _Glad you're back”s_ and “ _Good to see you boy”s_ sounding around him reminded him of the presence of the other circus people and none of them were exactly shy to clap him on the shoulder or on the back before returning to their work. Most of the men were gruff and not too fond of showing too much emotion anyway. They rather continued as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened and Kurt was glad that they did so.

»We saw you on TV, you know?« Amanda suddenly chirped as she came closer towards them again. She grabbed Kurt's left hand as she had done when they were still children. Everywhere they had gone together they had gone to hand in hand back then, just him and his big sister. Her fingers were long and delicate and she was petite and even more beautiful than he remembered her to be. Her strawberry blonde hair was a lot shorter by now and she still liked to wear crop tops and tight fitting jeans, apparently. Scandalous, almost. He could imagine how much his mother disliked Amanda’s choice of clothing.

Her bright green eyes all but drilled into him and Kurt was uncomfortably, almost painfully, reminded of the time his thoughts had only orbited around her. She was his first crush and he would never forget the hurt he had felt and the jealousy that had been so consuming as she had started to date Werner and began straying from him. She had started to look at him differently somewhere along the way and Kurt had needed to realize that someone as beautiful as her would never fall for someone as hideous as him.

He caught glimpse of Peter who was standing not too far off, his brows knotted together as he tried to decipher what was written on one of the posters. He seemed uninterested in the family reunion, but Kurt knew better. His boyfriend was a sucker for things like this. Peter was usually the one who would bawl his eyes out during cheesy romance movies when he was alone and claim he had something in his eyes when he was surrounded by others. A tiny smirk crept on his face as he grew aware that Peter was looking so focused on the poster because he tried to suppress tears of joy of his own. Idiot.

Yet, as he looked back at Amanda he saw something very different in her eyes and was still not quite able to tell what it was. She didn't look at him like she used to look at him before he vanished. He was no longer a circus attraction in her eyes. but what was he?

Looking back on it, he had thought that he would feel more conflicted when he would see her again and maybe this had contributed to his fears, but he didn't. The fire that had once been burning in his heart for her was cold by now. All he saw in her was his sister again and that felt oddly satisfying. »What do you mean you saw me on TV?« He finally reacted to what she had said after her words had time to sink in.

»What? Don't you know that you and your friends were all over the news last year?« Amanda demanded to know with huge eyes. »You were there when this weird building exploded! It was all over the news how you and your team saved all those kids! We thought…« Amanda stopped as a choked sound escaped her, but it was Margali who placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder and continued for her.

»We thought you were dead, Sweetheart.« She sighed. »The news broadcasted the rescue and all we got to see from you were flashes of smoke. We knew it was you right away and then you crashed with this little girl in your arms and we were sure that you died.«

»You're a hero, Kurt!« Amanda exclaimed as she tackled him in yet another hug and squeezed him much harder than he had ever thought possible, with her nails digging deep into the fabric of his white t-shirt. This time he was almost a bit uncomfortable as his big sister held him so tightly and caught glimpse of Peter smirking at him from a distance.

»I’m no hero.« Kurt mumbled as his face was burning in shame. Amanda finally let go of him again and rubbed tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand. »I just did the right thing. Everyone would have done the same. And I acted recklessly. I really am no hero. I'm just regular old stupid Kurt.« He then smirked before he waved at Peter to come over. Of course, he enjoyed talking in his mother-tongue with his family, but he didn't want Peter to feel left out and so he switched back to English with not much effort. »That's Pietro.« He introduced Peter to his mother and sister as the silver haired man was close enough. »He’s-«

»He was there too!« Amanda cut him off before he could say anything and a part of him was glad she did. He didn't want to introduce Peter as just some friend or teammate and yet he was not ready to tell them the truth. »He’s the fast one!« Peter was gone in a gush of silver wind and back just as fast with a little blue flower in his hand to present to Amanda with a cheeky little smile and bow.

» _Quicksilver_ at your service, Miss.« Peter grinned and Amanda blushed, but her eyes immediately went back to Kurt in a flash of green, burning right into him once more. It was almost a bit unsettling as if his sister suddenly saw something entirely different in his place or as if she saw him for the first time ever. Weird.

Before they could discuss anything else, however, he heard heavy boots approaching the scene. He knew the sound of those steps. »Hey, Mom, what's all the turmoil about?« Stefan’s voice was just as deep as he remembered and as Kurt whirled around he saw how his big brother stopped dead in his tracks just meters away carrying a ladder over his right shoulder and a metal bucket in his left hand. The bucket just fell from his hand with a loud clank, almost falling over. »Kurt?« Stefan then breathed and let go of the wooden ladder too. Kurt was in his face in an instant, tackling his big brother to the ground almost as Stefan lost all balance as Kurt jumped him and curled arms and legs and tail around him with not a care in the world how it might look.

How much he had truly missed his big brother overcame him like a wave of cold water, drowning him in the feeling and making him hold onto Stefan even tighter. At least his brother decided it would be a good idea of returning this abomination of a hug and almost squeezed the air out of Kurt's lungs as he yet again bawled his eyes out until his eyes were burning. This time he did not care at all.

Out of all the people, Stefan had always been the one person who had supported him no matter what. As close as he was to his mother, even closer he was to Stefan. As if afraid that Stefan might vanish into thin air, although that was more Kurt’s thing, he hesitated to let go of him again. »Long time no see, baby brother.« Stefan finally breathed as Kurt let go of him again and planted his feet back on the ground now instead. Stefan’s face was red as a tomato and the wetness of his cheeks betrayed him right away before he could even wipe his cheeks. Standing right in front of Stefan now, Kurt noticed right away that he actually towered over Stefan by a few centimeters now. »I knew you weren’t dead.« He then smirked as he seemed to notice their difference in height now too and patted Kurt's head just slightly. »But you’ve grown a lot. I wonder what they fed you in the US.«

»Mostly pancakes and waffles.«

It didn't take long until Kurt and Peter were both dragged off by Stefan to show them the circus as his brother was eager to point out every last thing that changed throughout the years. Their mother and Amanda followed them, chatting away the day with Peter and him. Of course, Amanda demanded to know quite a lot about his life in the States, but all of them tried to avoid the elephant in the room, which was the reason why he went away in the first place.

They stopped at the strong man booth and the ring toss booth only because Peter wanted to try them out and show everyone how good he really was. Needless to say that he didn't prove anything and only made a fool of himself. They ended up in the big tent at the end of their tour. They found a few of the acrobats stretching and practicing and Kurt felt the unmistakable itch as he was in the main tent again, looking up to the large hoops and the trapeze. As if his mother would know what was going on in his head she stepped closer and placed her hands firmly on his shoulders from behind. »I can see that you are dying to get up there.« She snickered. »Now go on, show us what you’ve learned, Sweetheart.«

He didn't need the slight shove from his mother as he left the side of Peter and Stefan to lunge forward only to vanish in a cloud of smoke and to reappear up on the trapeze meters above ground. Maybe he was making a little bit of a show as he swung and jumped from trapeze to trapeze and ended up in the large hoop that was hanging from the ceiling. Thanks to the danger room Kurt had gotten quite a lot of acrobatic exercise during the last years, but the real thing was still something very different. He was moving like smoke and water through the tent, showing his family what he was capable of by now before he reappeared behind Stefan to pinch him in the side.

The resulting play fight between him and his brother was a lot rougher than in their childhood but just as fast and unhinged. Their mother’s laughter followed them through the campsite as they chased each other like in the good old days. Whenever Stefan got too close trying to shove at him or make him stumble, Kurt teleported away with ease. He laughed at Stefan from the tops of caravans and booths and Stefan tried to get him down with every nonviolent means he got, but every time Kurt was faster and Stefan soon exhausted as he could not keep up with his little mutant brother. Their little game of tag ended in a loud _SPLASH_.

»You know what?« Peter smirked as he nudged him with his shoulder later as they sat around the campfire a little off from the caravans. »You kind of deserved that.« The look Kurt shot his boyfriend couldn't be any gloomier judging by Peter’s reaction because the speedster only laughed and proceeded to ruffle Kurt's hair with the towel that way placed on his head. The sun stood low in the afternoon sky but was yet hours away from sinking and letting the moon take over. The cook was preparing the dinner in his tent just meters away and the smell of grilled sausages and steaks waved over to them just as his brother came back from said tent with three bottles of beer in hand.

No one really cared that Kurt's clothes were hanging on the washing line that hung between Stefan and Margali’s caravans, or that he said here half naked and dressed only in a pair of his brother’s boxers, his fur till wet from his little accident. It did not often happen that he miscalculated where he was going and yet he had ended up in a nearby creek, much to the amusement of everyone else. Then again, of course, no one cared that he was sitting here like this. He was one of the many children that had been raised in this circus. All of them had seen his junk more than enough times just to not bat a lash about it. Kurt was still shivering as he grabbed the bottle from his brother before Stefan proceeded to give the second to Peter only to keep the third to himself. Tonight the circus had no show scheduled and thus drinking was allowed. Alcohol was always a big no-no before any show.

»Hey!« Amanda groaned and kicked at a small stone with her white sneaker. »What about us?« She gestured towards the beer as Stefan sat down with a heavy groan on one of the camping stools that were set up around the fireplace. His brother, however, gave his best expression of an unimpressed young man as he stretched out his legs and popped open his bottle.

»What about you?« He grinned, cocking one eyebrow. There were tiny beads of sweat on his sun-kissed forehead and his short blonde hair clung to his skin. Summer in Germany tended to be hot and humid, but at least in Bavaria, it was not as bad as in other parts of this country.

»Well, get your ass up and bring us something to drink too!« Their mother sighed at her children's banter. Some things never changed and so Stefan only rolled his eyes at his sister’s behavior.

»You have two perfectly fine feet, _Jimaine_. Get your own ass up and get yourself a beer if you want one.« Because all of them knew perfectly well that their mother didn't drink and if she would want anything she would either get up herself or call for someone. No one would deny Margali any wish anyway.

» _Jimaine_ ?« Peter whispered at his side as he leaned in closer so that only Kurt could hear and Kurt snickered devilishly. »That's her real name, actually. Jimaine Szardos. She prefers her _nom de plume_ : Amanda Sefton.« He needed to remind himself that he had to thank his family for talking in English so that Peter would not feel left out. This was not as naturally as they would tell it was.

Amanda, however, scoffed at her brother before getting up. »What a fine gentleman you are, Stefan.« She groaned. »No wonder you can’t get a girlfriend with a behavior as this. You should try to learn one or two things from Kurt about how to treat a woman.«

»You are no woman, Amanda, you are my annoying little sister.« As she stomped away to get herself a beer, Kurt caught a glimpse of Werner, her on-again-off-again boyfriend. He waited for her at the entry to the food tent but the look he shot Kurt was icy. Apparently, as of right now they were on-again. He had been crushed as a teen as he had first seen them together, making out behind the big tent right after a show - Amanda’s big debut, actually. Beforehand Kurt had encouraged his sister backstage and watched her performance with big eyes and great excitement before she jumped him for a hug afterward. He remembered how his heart had made a jump as she had hugged him, but now he knew that her attention been solely focused on this buff douchebag even in that moment. Now, he only waved at Werner and shot him a toothy grin.

»Behave.« His mother smirked and as Kurt looked at her he noticed that she had watched him very closely. His mother said right across from him, on his right side sat Peter and enjoyed his beer. His mother had always been good in knowing what he was thinking, sometimes even before he himself had known that. Despite the hot summer air, she was knitting something as they sat around the fire. Then again, probably one of the women were pregnant again and his mother was knitting something for a baby or some other toddler. He had grown up with his mother constantly knitting baby clothes, the constant tick-tick of her knitting needles the most soothing of melodies in his childhood.

As Kurt let out a small sneeze his brother seemed to spring into action once more.

»Do you have any place to stay?« Stefan finally turned back to the two of them. »I mean … You stay, right? At least for a while? You are not rushing off to some heroic adventure again right away, right?« Kurt could see the concern in his piercing blue eyes and it made his heart beat a bit faster. His brother wanted to spend time with him more and apparently, he really had missed him. It was a good feeling and yet, it only made him fear more and more what might happen would he tell them the truth about him and Peter. After he didn't answer right away, Peter nudged him in the leg without anyone seeing.

»Ah … Ähm … No. I mean, yes. We stay for a while. We could sleep in the car, I guess.« Kurt then shrugged but his mother was quick to remind him that she would not let her boy sleep in a car.

»Your caravan is still available, Kurt.« She probed. »We didn't know if or when you would come back home, but we did not sell your caravan. You can sleep in there. It's a tight fit for two grown men, but maybe you could find a way to make it work until we find a proper accommodation for your friend Pietro.« She smiled but something about the way she looked at Pietro and about the twinkle in her green eyes told Kurt that there was something she wouldn't tell them.

»My old caravan…« He grinned. Of course, he had figured that they had not sold the vehicle, but he would have expected them to put it to good use in the meantime. »We’ll make it work!« His mother winked at him and still, Kurt was oblivious to why she did so.

During dinner, it was always loud on the campsite and Kurt loved it. It felt like home again. He had gotten used to the crowds of students in the dining room of the mansion and to the sometimes unruly mutants, but this was something different entirely. Everyone was laughing and had a good time. Kurt had to tell stories about the adventures he had gone on already to the kids that looked at him with wide gleeful eyes and Peter got to experience proper carney folk and their tricks. Only as the night started to grow darker around them the crowd started to thin out a bit as everyone started to retreat to their caravans. First, the kids were sent to their beds, then the exhausted parents followed and in the end, only Stefan, Peter and Kurt stayed back at the campfire, empty beer bottles lined up to their feet.

Like he did the last night, Peter, after a while excused himself to go to bed already, using the long drive to Munich as an excuse for his tiredness. Kurt’s caravan was not too far off and actually right beside Stefan’s but a little off to the side and thus closer to the treeline. Earlier, Kurt had shown the caravan to Peter, after they had gone to get their stuff from the car before dinner had started and to let out the stuffy air he had left the door and windows wide open. Kurt looked after Peter as he slowly made his way towards the small blue caravan and caught glimpse of the little smirk Peter threw at him over his shoulder before he climbed inside the vehicle.

During the day, Peter had seemed quite relaxed and even happy for him, but Kurt could not help but wonder if he was really feeling that way. He would not blame Peter, would he be a bit sad or even jealous. Then again, it was not like Peter to be begrudging.

»I like your friend.« Stefan smiled as they were now able to switch back to German again. »He seems to be a cool dude. Surely, you are a great team. If I remember correctly, it was him who got you into safety after your little stunt, right? I still need to thank him for saving my little brother.«

»Yeah.« Kurt laughed. »Well, we had our quarrels in the beginning, the whole team had, but in the end, we grew quite strong together. I would trust him with my life.« Maybe now was the right moment, he decided. Maybe now he should spill the beans. He really should-

»You know, little crawler, I'm glad to see that you've found your place with those heroes. You were always too good for this circus. You've always wanted adventure and purpose and you've found it. I couldn't be prouder as a big brother. Hell, every time we go to another city people that are visiting our shows for years ask us where you are and whenever they do, I tell them that you went to America to become a proper superhero.« Stefan smiled and clinked his half empty beer bottle with Kurt's that was dangling between his hands. »I was so scared after you left. I wanted to follow you and demand to turn back, but you were gone and then we couldn't find you again. You can't imagine the hell mom gave me afterward and she was right to do so. I shouldn't have encouraged you. I blamed myself after you vanished from the face of the earth. I was so afraid that something bad happened to you, but you … Hell, Kurtie, you made it to America! You became a superhero! An actual superhero!«

Kurt couldn't bring himself to tell his story to Stefan. He couldn't bring himself to tell him what really happened to him after he had left the circus. He could not tell him that he had been captured and tortured before he had even met the X-Men. He could not even tell him about the reality of this life as a hero and how much dangers he had faced already. Stefan's smile was too brilliant to crush it with the truth. So, Kurt only grinned and curled his tail. »Well, did you expect anything less? I'm _the Incredible Nightcrawler_.«

»Yeah you are, and I can't wait to train with you again.« Stefan laughed and clasped his shoulder. His eyes were warm as he looked at him now, accentuated only further by the slowly dying fire. »But now I'm going to bed too, tomorrow will be an exhausting day. And you?«

»Nah, I'm staying here a bit longer.«

»Still nocturnal I see … No wonder mom came up with this name for you. You were always her little night crawler because you hardly slept.« Stefan's smile turned a lot fonder now as he recalled those forgotten days of their childhood. As he got up, he ruffled through Kurt’s hair gently. »It's good to have you back, baby brother. I really missed you. Don't stay up too late, alright? You know the tales of these woods.« Stefan left him with a small cackling laughter and Kurt rolled his eyes with a grin before he took another sip from his beer. Maybe he should tell Stefan that Peter was actually quite susceptible to these urban legends.

Kurt was actually glad that he had a few minutes to himself before he would join Peter. All of that was just so overwhelming to him still and he enjoyed being able to get his head clear once more, sitting at the slowly dying fire and watching the stars overhead. As a child, he used to sneak out of camp to find himself a quiet spot in the woods where he could lay down on his back to look at the stars and try to find the different formations and name them. Doing that had always put him at peace. In Salem, he hardly got the chance. The light pollution from the city was too strong in summer and in winter it often just got too cold at night to do so. How much he had truly missed mother nature only dawned on him now. Suddenly, he found himself wondering what would happen when he and Peter would finish college. Would they stay at the Institute like Hank did or would they try to find their own place to live at? Maybe a small house surrounded by a forest, maybe close to the local church. Far enough away from the mansion to catch a break, but close enough to always be there.

»You're still up? Well, I shouldn't be surprised, I guess.« Amanda’s voice was more of a sing-sang as she walked up to the fire from behind him. He had lost track of her during dinner but expected her to be with Werner. Well, the direction she came from proved that assumption to him to be right. Werner’s caravan was on the other side of the campsite somewhere behind him and Amanda smelled a little like the weed Werner liked to smoke in his caravan. Kurt had never been opposed to the consumption of milder drugs like weed, although he himself did not smoke and did not like the smell. As long as no one would get hurt, it was fine with Kurt.

»Yeah.« Kurt breathed and emptied his bottle before offering another to his sister as he grabbed it with his tail from the cooler that sat beside him under one of the chairs. She politely declined as she sat down right next to him on the chair Peter had previously occupied. »Even if I was tired, I wouldn't find sleep anyway.«

»Are you worried about something?«

»No, just overwhelmed, you know? I still can't believe I'm home again. I still expect waking up in my dorm room. It's odd being back after so many years.« Amanda sighed and put her left hand on his right shoulder and her left hand on his right knee in a comforting gesture as she leaned in so close that she could rest her head against her hand on his shoulder. She was wearing a perfume he didn't know. It was not the same she used back in the day.

»We’re glad that you're back home with us, you know? We all missed you so much, Kurtie. Really.« She smiled at him and Kurt found himself snorting as he looked down at her as best as he could. It was odd for Amanda to come as close as this.

»Not everyone, I believe.«

»You mean Werner? Oh, you know him.« She sighed. »He's just jealous.«

»Jealous?«

»Of course. You're a _superhero_ , Kurt and everyone here knows that. We all have seen what you did last year! You were so awesome! You saved all these kids! But this crash … I won't lie, I felt like I was dying. We all thought you were dead. Mom cried for hours afterward! We thought we had lost you. But now you're back and … Look at you, Kurt!« She smiled her most brilliant smile at him again as she put a bit distance between them once more, but only to brush a hand over his left cheek and thus move his face more towards her. »Look what you've become!«

»What did I become? I'm still just Kurt.« He shrugged his shoulders, although it was true that he changed. He had seen so much in the last years, so many dark things, so many crimes, and horrors. There were many good things he had experienced and grown from too, but the bad things, he felt, had shaped him in a much clearer way and made him set his focus on life.

»No! Oh, Kurt!« She replied almost adamant to prove something, whatever it was, to him. »Is there really no one who tells you how good looking you are over there in America or are they all just blind? I'm sure you have loads of girls waiting for you!«

»I don't understand.« He didn't understand but he felt like he was having a Deja-vu and he did not quite like where this was going. Amanda and he had always more of a rivalry between them growing up. As much as he had loved his big sister, they had always been competitive and always been arguing. For her to say these things to him, was beyond odd. »What do my looks have to do with anything?«

»It's not just that!« Amanda brushed it off just like this, her hand still on his cheek and it started to get a bit uncomfortable. »I saw you earlier! How you moved! That was amazing, Kurt, really! _You_ are amazing! Even Werner saw that and that's why he is so jealous, you know? We had a fight, actually.«

»A fight about me? Mandy… What do you mean?« Not that Amanda fighting with Werner would be much of a surprise, really. Usually, however, they would not fight about Kurt in any way.

»Oh, Kurt … You're still so oblivious! Wouldn't you be so cute, it would be annoying! We had a fight because he noticed the same thing I did. Oh hell, I was such a fool all those years ago, Kurt and now I'm afraid I have missed my chance!«

»What chance?«

Instead of telling him, Amanda produced a small groan and suddenly, Kurt was confronted with her soft lips on his own. He could taste the cherry lipstick she was using ever since she had hit puberty, as Amanda cupped his face with her hands to lean in even closer and while Kurt's eyes were wide open in shock, hers were closed.

Only as her tongue brushed against his closed lips, he finally was able to move again and pushed her away with just enough force. »What are you doing?« He breathed and wanted nothing more but to teleport into the safety of his bed.

»I’m kissing you.« Amanda declared matter-of-factly as if she was not aware just how wrong that really was. She was his sister, after all. Well, adopted sister and yet, despite the feelings he had had for her in the past, she was his sister. »Don't tell me you have never been kissed before, Kurt!« She almost sounded scandalized and the feeling of deja-vu only grew stronger.

Before he could do anything she tried to lean in again, her hands reaching out once more to his face, but he stopped them immediately and grabbed her wrists as forceful as he could without actually hurting her. »Amanda, stop it. I mean it.« He tried to keep his voice low but stern and yet the alcohol made it all just a bit harder to him. He could hardly think straight. Amanda kissing him was everything he had dreamed of as a teenager.

»What's wrong?« She frowned. »Come on Kurt, we both know that you always dreamed of this and now you're rejecting me like this?«

It was true. Back in the day, he had dreamed of this and yet her words stung like knifed to his chest. He had wanted to kiss her, wanted to be close to her, wanted that she would look at him the way she would look at Werner, but she never had and he had understood that she would never look at him this way. He wondered if she had known back then and if that was why she had always made a show in front of him with her boyfriend. She had ripped his heart out and thrown it into a waste bin. Had she tried something like this back then, maybe he would not be the same man he was now. Would he not be with Peter, maybe … Maybe what? »I'm not _rejecting_ you, Mandy.«

»Of course you do!« She didn't sound hurt, as his brain helpfully supplied. She sounded affronted, but not hurt. »Come on, Kurt, you can't do this to me! We both know that you are in love with me! I broke things up with Werner tonight once and for all to be with you!« Teenage Kurt would have cheered and passed out from excitement, but adult Kurt only started to feel angry. _She does not want you for you, Kurt_. He told himself. _She does want the fame. She sees you differently now because she thinks you’re some sort of hero. She does not want Kurt Wagner. She wants Nightcrawler. She can’t have either._  

»I'm gay, Amanda.«

****

**-End of Chapter 4-**


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so bad at writing scenes like the show scene... But here you have what I took for inspiration.   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_aQErxgt1E

»Your brother is hot.« Peter hummed as he rolled over and shoved his leg between Kurt's without getting much of a protest from the elf. »Not as hot as you, but still hot.« Kurt hummed something in response, but it was hard to tell if he was agreeing or spouting insults at him. Knowing Kurt it was probably both. Still, Peter's opinion held strong. Stefan Szardos _was_ hot.

»He’s not hot … He’s my brother.« Kurt finally managed to get out a few not muffled and garbled words. His face was wrinkled and scrunched up in a way that told the tale of a man punished by a bit of a hangover. Kurt had gone to bed not too long after Peter had left the campfire to find some sleep. He had been already dozing, oddly comfortable in this small trailer and the bed that was pushed into the corner right underneath the large window that allowed a look outside. He could imagine teenage Kurt lying here and watching the stars as he did.

Kurt's mother had been right, for two grown men the caravan was small and did not provide much room not to bump into one another, but it was okay and Peter could think of worse things than bumping into Kurt. The bed was on the far end of the caravan right where the caravan would be hooked up to a car when the time to travel would come. It was barely big enough for the both of them and the closet and the small bathroom that enclosed the space where the bed was, made it almost look like an alcove. Kurt's closet was still open and revealed a whole bunch of costumes and accessories stuffed into the tiny space with a vanity squeezed right next to it between the cupboard and an old fridge. There actually was a table with one chair and a small stove crammed into the caravan, but Peter doubted that those had ever been used before. And of course, every bit of free wall space had been used to put up shelves with books crammed on every surface.

The most remarkable thing in this trailer was probably the self-made poster of Mystique hanging over the mirror of the vanity. Back in the day, she had been Kurt's hero, just like Ororo’s. Peter knew that Kurt had not told his family about her and about knowing that she was his biological mother, but he wondered if he wanted to tell them.

»Your _hot_ brother.« Peter hummed as he pulled him closer and wrapped his arms tightly around him. He had no clue how late it was but they had probably slept in. Around them, the circus had already come to life. He could hear people roaming around the clearing, talking, working, laughing. Of course he was hungry, but for now, Peter just wanted to relax a moment and just enjoy being here with Kurt.

Oddly enough, he felt comfortable in this place. Not only inside the caravan but here, at the circus. The people were nice and easily excited when he would give them a taste of his powers, the food was awesome and Mama Margali just as loving and caring as Kurt had always described her. Stefan was a brute on the outside, strong in built, muscular and a bit rough around the edges, but clearly with his mother’s heart out of pure gold. Amanda, however, reminded him a little of Wanda, although they seemed to be quite different at first glance. There was something odd about the way Amanda had been glued to Kurt from time to time during the last day. After he had fallen in the creek she had been fussing over him more like their mother and after everything Kurt had told him about her and how their relationship had been before he left, this girl was an enigma to him.

There was only one person who did not seem excited that Kurt was back and this was a guy named Werner, Amanda’s boyfriend, so to speak. Even for an outsider as Peter, it had been easy to spot the man right away and point him out to Kurt only to have his assumption confirmed by the elf. The entire day, Werner had watched Kurt and him - but mostly Kurt - with gloomy looks. Well, he wouldn't be the first bully Peter would have to beat up and put in his place.

»I like it here, Elf.« Peter finally grinned as he managed to pry a kiss from Kurt who just muffled something against his lips again. He was apparently not willing to talk or wake up fully yet. Peter, however, was already full of energy. But it was too cozy to get up. »Are we going to watch tonight's show?«

»If we’re still there then, yes…« Kurt mumbled sleepily.

»Why shouldn't we? Are you planning on leaving again already?« Yesterday Kurt had been so full of joy after they arrived at the circus, now, however, his mood seemed a bit more clouded.

»I told Amanda that I'm gay, yesterday…« Kurt quietly confessed and really took him by surprise with this revelation. »I'm sure she has already told everyone. And now they will hunt us with pitchforks and torches. I’m surprised they haven't dragged us out of bed already.«

»I can't see no pitchforks.« Peter hummed as he lifted the curtain in front of the window again to have a look outside. Everyone was going about their business normally and Peter had nothing left but to gently brush his fingertips over Kurt’s naked back. »And no torches. Why did you tell her already? I thought you would want to wait a bit.«

»I did … But she … She kissed me, you know?« Suddenly there was a sting of jealousy hitting him right where it hurt. This was most definitely a development he had not expected. He knew of Kurt's feelings for Amanda, after all. Kurt had once told him about her and how she had been his first crush, maybe that was even why Peter had made an effort to look at her more closely yesterday. She was pretty, yes, there was no doubt about it and he could see why Kurt had fallen for her back in the day. What a bitch. If she would want a fight, she could have it. He knew that it was not wise to be jealous of that girl. It was not her fault that Kurt had fallen in love with her back in the day, and yet, there was the pang of fear echoing through his mind and body. »I didn't know what to do.«

Peter wanted to be sarcastic of snarky and maybe even angry, but it was not Kurt's fault. He could not blame him for Amanda kissing him, just as he could not blame her that Kurt had fallen for her in the past. »Did you kiss her back?« He still asked as he rolled onto his back once more. Kurt seemed hesitant to come close again as Peter brushed a hand through his silver hair and then put the hand behind his head to stare holes into the white ceiling of the vehicle where someone once glued fluorescent little stars to the ceiling.

»Of course not.« Kurt then sighed and Peter pulled him close with one arm again. As soon as Kurt’s head rested against his shoulder and his leg curled around Peter’s, he could think a bit straighter again. There was no need to question this any further. Kurt would not lie to him like his. Of course, Kurt would never kiss her back, not even drunk.

»Tell me what happened.« He was not too sure if he really wanted to hear it, but this was not about him. He was an adult. He could handle that.

»If only I knew what happened.« He sighed before he took a deep breath and snuggled a little closer. During summer it always got incredibly hot with Kurt in the same bed, after all, he was covered in fur, which was the main reason why Peter liked to sleep with the window open. »We talked after Stefan went to his caravan. And then, all of the sudden, she started to say all those weird things to me. I think she tried to flirt with me, you know? And then she kissed me and I pushed her away. But when she wanted to do it again, I just told her. It just came out without my control.«

»How did she react?«

»I don't know.« He sighed.

»You teleported away.«

»Yes…«

»Babe, you need to talk to her about this. She’s your sister.«

»You know, the way she looked at me yesterday was so weird and I didn't get it in the moment it happened, but now I do. She told me she had broken up with Werner just for me, but I don't think that she really wants _me_.« He really didn't want to hear it. Still, he kept running down his fingers over Kurt's back. »She wants the hero she saw on TV, the fame, this adventurous life, being away from the circus. She knows full well that she was my first crush. She even told me so herself. And yet, although she knew that, she always made a show back then, you know? She always took care that I would see her and Werner together as if to taunt me, she was always on his side, even when he attacked or bullied me.«

»Well, she can't have you anyway. You're mine.« Peter scoffed and planted a kiss on Kurt's forehead. »And if I must, I will tie her to a tree to get her out of the way.«

As they later left Kurt's caravan freshly dressed and showered, they found themselves faced with a new situation. Around the circus, new posters were being hanged to lamp post and caravan doors. » _The incredible Nightcrawler._ « Peter grinned and Kurt turned visibly purple. They found Kurt's mother not too far off and of course, Kurt immediately demanded to know why they were putting up his old posters again.

»Stefan told me that he wants you to perform tonight. And I said yes.« That was her answer, simple as that and with a mischievous smirk on her sun-kissed face.

»And what about me? Mom, I'm not your circus animal that you can force to perform!« The affront was clearly dripping from Kurt’s voice, but it was more than that. Suddenly he seemed agitated and Peter could do nothing except standing behind him to signalize to Kurt that he got his back just in case.

»But you want to, don't you?«

Margali Szardos knew her youngest son like the back of her hand and even Kurt had to admit that, though reluctantly and very flustered indeed. »Yeah…« His shoulders slumped and his head hung in defeat as the agitation fell off of him.

»So?« Margali grinned and gently pinched Kurt's nose. »Why the fuss then, Honey?« Peter watched in awe how even Kurt's pointed ears first turned purple and then a dark magenta. This was truly a reaction only a mother could provoke in her child. They quickly decided to move out of Mama Margali’s way and grab a bite to eat before Kurt would start his training with the other acrobats. Apparently, not even on vacation Kurt could catch a break from all the exercise Scott would usually force upon him. At least he seemed to find great joy in it while Pete was still munching on a Brötchen as he sat down in the big tent to watch the acrobats train.

They were all good, no question about it, but none of them could compete even in the slightest with Kurt. He had already seen his boyfriend contort his body in the most impossible ways before, but this was a whole other level. He watched Kurt in awe and almost forgot to chew what he had in his wide open mouth as Kurt first casually started walking around on his hands and then showed the younger kids what he could do with his seemingly completely flexible spine. It was as if his skeleton was made out of gum but clearly not of bone.

His own exercise soon became a training session taught by Professor Kurt to the younger children who were all eager to learn from the demonic looking mutant and none of them had even the slightest fear of him although most of them had been babies when Kurt left.

»You should really try chewing, Mate.« Peter jerked so hard he almost bit his tongue as a large hand found it's way too heavily pat his right shoulder and almost shook his entire body. Stefan was strong and wouldn't Peter know that he was human, he would think he might be a mutant too. Years of working in a circus probably had this effect on people. Stefan laughed a little and sat down heavily beside him. »I would have thought you have seen him in action before.« Stefan then nodded to his baby brother and how proud he really was was written all over his open and honest face. Stefan was this kind of guy who would never be able to keep a secret because his face was an open book. He was, as far as Peter could tell, an honest, god-fearing, generous man. No wonder Kurt turned out like this with a role model like Stefan.

»I have.« Peter murmured before he swallowed the bite he had in his mouth and was quick to finish his breakfast. »But never like this. I mean, I knew he's an acrobat and that he’s quite flexible, but … holy cow.« Right now it looked as if he had nonchalantly dislocated his ribcage as he sat on his lower legs, grabbed his feet with his hands and leaned his upper body as far back as was physically possible without toppling over. He only used his tail as support for balance.

»There once was a guy coming to our shows…« Stefan interrupted Peter’s staring at Kurt. »He heard rumors about Kurt and wanted to see for himself. I believe he was from a different circus, although he told us that he was a talent scout. He said he was from Canada and that, with a little more training, Kurt could be an Olympic level athlete - under his care. He was fifteen then. And now look at him. After years of training with the X-Men…«

»You're very proud of him, huh?«

» _Klar bin ich das._ [Of course I am.]« Stefan laughed. »I was always proud of him. I was six when Mom found him by the river, soaking wet and screaming like mad. We still don't know how he survived if he had been in the river before Mom found him, but he did and Mom fell in love with him the moment she first saw him. And so did I as she brought him to us. I didn't care that he's blue or has a tail. In that moment, he became my brother and I couldn't be prouder.«

»I know that feeling.« Peter grinned. »I have a little sister. She has a hard time in school and I'm not able to see her as much as I would like to, but I'm proud of her, no matter how little the achievement might be.« He missed Wanda more than he would have ever imagined being able to miss his annoying little sister. They would write letters, but it was just not enough. »What about you and your sister?«

»Amanda?« He sighed and scraped his feet over the ground. »Amanda and I … Well, we used to get along well, as Kurt had been with us, although she became quite different as she hit puberty and started to date this idiot Werner. When we were children Amanda would always protect and defend Kurt, but as she started getting closer to Werner she became a different person. She started to treat Kurt differently and I started to get angrier and angrier at her. We started to argue a lot and even more after Kurt left. She blamed me - of course, I blamed myself too - but she was not all that innocent too. It was somewhat of an open secret that Kurt was in love with her and she used that knowledge to make fun of him. As he turned sixteen I started to notice how much he started to shut himself in. He got more and more uncomfortable and restless. He wanted out, wanted adventure - but for the most part, he wanted to escape. So I helped him. I felt sorry for him because of the way Amanda treated him. Heartbreak is bad enough as it is already, but being surrounded by the one you love constantly and seeing that person make out in public with someone else all the time at such a young age must have been crushing. And what it did for his self-esteem was even worse.«

Peter turned his attention back to Kurt. His smile was brilliant as he taught the kids how to move and how to stretch. The kids loved him and he enjoyed what he was doing.

»I can only imagine how he must have felt.« Peter sighed. »He needed a lot of the special American treatment as he first came to the Institute to loosen up a bit and get comfortable. But now he is a valuable member of the team. He is one of our best pilots and mechanics and he wants to get medical training too in the future. I sometimes worry he tries to do too many things at once and that he will overburden himself. But then again I doubt that something like this is even possible with someone like Kurt.«

»He has always been eager for knowledge. He picked languages up just like this, without any effort at all.« Stefan laughed.

»Is this the Kurt Wagner fan club?« Another male voice mixed into the noises around them. Peter turned his head around just enough to spot Werner, the bulky young man from yesterday and Amanda’s now ex-boyfriend, as he walked closer towards them. It was hard to imagine someone like him swinging from trapeze to trapeze. He seemed too heavy, too muscular, especially compared to the thin and lanky Kurt. »Are you girls talking about how awesome he is?« Werner kept taunting before he came to a halt beside them. Stefan seemed to ignore him and after growing up alongside someone like Werner, surely he had practice in doing so. Peter, however, had not. In his mind, he was already taping him to the roof of the tent. But for Kurt's sake, he didn't, only hissed in annoyance and rolled his eyes before he put on a taunting grin himself.

»I always thought you had blue eyes, but now I see they are green.« It was no surprise that Werner did not seem to understand the hint. »You're jealous, Werner, and everyone can see it.«

»And why should I be jealous of this blue freak?« There was this unmistakable urge of wanting to punch Werner’s teeth out for this insult, but it was Stefan who turned dark eyes on Werner threateningly before Peter could even do anything.

»If you call him freak one more time, I’ll feed you your teeth again, Werner. I don't think you want to eat soup through a straw _again_.« He was surprised to hear so strong words from the friendly giant Stefan, but he did not question that Stefan actually meant that.

»Wow, Stevie, I never really understood how a man can be so pathetic as to call something like that his brother and be proud of it. Disgusting.«

»To come back to why you would feel jealous« Peter snapped at Werner as he turned his attention back to Kurt teaching the kids before he pointed at the small group. »That's why.« He ended and casted another glance at Werner who looked first to the group and then confused back at Peter. »You are jealous because to those kids it does not matter how Kurt looks. To his mother, the rest of his family, me and our team, it does not matter how he looks. We just see the hero that he is and all the good he does and for that we cheer for him. It's really nothing more than that. And yet it's something you will never be able to experience or achieve because you are a mean begrudging jerk whose girlfriend dumped him to be with a _freak_.«

He took great joy in the sight of Werner's entire head turning a bright red as the realization struck him that Peter indeed knew about the break up.

»Amanda broke up with you?« Stefan interrupted with wide eyes and that only made Werner more flustered and aggressive.

»You and I both know that Kurt likes to lie whenever it makes him look good! Amanda would never leave me for a monster like him.« The jealousy was now written all over his face and they could all see that it was the truth. Stefan's lips escaped a little chuckle and although it was obvious that Werner was about to burst, Stefan continued to make fun of him.

»Oh, it's true, isn't it? That's why Mandy was so angry this morning! She saw how different Kurt was, how famous and popular he is now and she decided that she wants something of that pie. And let me guess, Kurt rejected her.« Werner clenched his jaw. »Serves her right.« It was obvious that Werner wanted to spit something again, but it was again Stefan who shut him up. »Don't you have something to do, Werner? Come on, Pete, I show you the fire-breathers and then I could use your help.«

Kurt had not yet told his family the truth, except for Amanda and that she knew was obvious by the way she stared at them from a distance every time their eyes would meet. Throughout the day it only got worse and worse, as she probably came to the conclusion that Kurt and he were more than friends after Kurt's confession to her yesterday. Still, she had kept her mouth shut, apparently. At least for that she deserved some credit. Still, Peter knew her type and he knew that it was only a matter of time until she would spill the beans. If she would reach the point of no return in her anger of being rejected for another man, she would tell everyone just to spite Kurt.

»Your sister seems angry.« Peter turned to Stefan as he helped him set up the props for tonight's show. He could not just sit around and do nothing except drooling all over Kurt, he assumed. If he wanted to stay here for a while he needed to work just as hard as everyone else and he was glad to do so.

»Oh well, Mandy is a special little someone, you know?« He smirked. »I love her to pieces, but she is arrogant. She's pretty and she knows that. She is a passable acrobat and dancer and she knows how to get what she wants. It was always like that. Don't get me wrong, she is a good person at heart, she is nice and kind and loving, when she wants to be and in the past she and Kurt had been very close. But she is not used to getting told no.«

»You think she is that angry about Kurt rejecting her? What do you think she will do?« Kurt deserved to be able to tell his family when he was ready and Peter could only hope that Amanda would stay put until then.

»Oh, probably just tell mean things about him. That's her thing, you know? But she never takes it too far.« With a sigh, he put away the ladder they had used to check on the ropes. »We fought a lot in the past few years ever since Kurt left, you know? I blamed her for Kurt wanting away in the first place, but I know that's not fair. It wasn't just her fault. Kurt wanted to know who he was and what he could do without us. He had always been independent. But she drove him away in addition to that. Last year she began talking about him again, after we saw him on TV and we had a big fight. She was all over the place, telling us how much she missed him and all that crap and I told her right away that she had her chance with him and blew it because she was too focused on the fact that he was blue and had a tail. She was always so shallow, you know? Back then I was so angry that she hurt him so much although she knew how he felt for her. Now I'm glad that she did. Kurt would not be the same person had she acted differently. He would have never gotten the chance to experience who he really is then. And I'm sure in the US there are a bunch of girls eager to go out with him, right?«

Peter smirked although the jealous beast inside him reared its ugly head again. »Yeah.« He laughed. »To be honest, yes, there are quite a few girls who fancy Kurt at the Institute, but he’s blind to it most of the time.«

»Good old Kurt, hm? He never even considered that someone might be interested in him.« Stefan smiled but his eyes were lacking joy. He seemed to be just as concerned for his brother’s self-perception than Peter in the beginning.

»It's hopeless.« Peter laughed as he thought about the girls who would roam the halls of the mansion, staring holes in Kurt’s back and prompting Peter to grab his boyfriend’s hand even harder than he usually would. Jean once told him that he was acting possessive of Kurt when his jealousy would strike and Peter knew that it was the truth. But as long as Kurt was fine with that, there was no reason for him to change that. »He has no clue how good looking he really is and the girls just swoon when they touch his fur. He is too oblivious for his own good.«

»So he has not had girlfriend yet?« Stefan asked with wide eyes.

»No.« It was no lie. It felt a little bit like a lie, but it was none. Kurt did not have a girlfriend, only a sometimes annoying possessive boyfriend, as Kurt would probably put it.

»You are a bad wingman then.« Stefan scoffed and nudged him in the shoulder.

As the sun sunk above the trees and the night fell upon the forest, the circus came to life. As the first people started coming through the wide open gate, music was coming from the big tent, noise came from the ring toss booth, shots rang from the shooting gallery, laughter echoed over the clearing from children and adults alike. It was not the first time that Peter visited a circus and yet there was something magical about this place right here as he pulled a piece of his pink cotton candy off and stuffed it into his mouth. Of course, he would have loved to roam the circus with Kurt by his side, hold his hand and be a cheesy dork to embarrass the living crap out of Kurt in front of everyone, but Kurt needed to prepare for the show and at least Peter shot him a teddy bear at the shooting gallery. The teddy was blue - how could he have resisted?

The big tent was already bursting at the seams with people who came for the return of the incredible Nightcrawler. Peter had helped set up the posters all around town today and although he was a bit mad that as soon as Kurt came back for a visit he was being sold for their gain again, he knew that Kurt loved the limelight and that he wanted these shows. As long as he was happy, Peter would cheer him on from the front row, where he got a seat reserved right next to Margali.

»Oh, Peter, there you are, my dear.« Margali greeted him as she took his hand to guide him to sit right next to her. »Is this teddy for Kurt?« She then smirked and Peter had not even the slightest bit of decency left to blush, so he returned her smirk instead.

»I couldn't resist.«

»Kurt can deem himself lucky to have a friend like you by his side, Honey.« She gently patted his hand and focused her attention back to the center of the tent where the fire-breathers were entertaining the crowd before the main act of the night.

Peter was in awe over the raw talent all those different people portrayed as the night progressed and as the sky had turned black outside and the moon was standing high on the starry sky, the lights inside the tent turned dark blue as the ringleader walked back into the middle of the ring. » _Meine Damen und Herren, wir kommen nun zu dem auf das wir alle schon den ganzen Abend sehnlichst gewartet haben! Lehnen Sie sich zurück und bereiten sie sich auf eine Welt des Staunens vor. Ich präsentiere den einzigartigen, den erstaunlichen, den unglaublichen Nightcrawler!_ [Ladies and Gentleman, now to the moment we’ve all been eagerly waiting for! Lean back, relax and prepare for a world of marvel. I present to you the inimitable, the astonishing, the incredible Nightcrawler!]«

Peter had not been allowed into the tent as Kurt had first started practicing his performance today and so Peter was just as excited as everyone else as he clasped the blue teddy tighter. It was so dark inside the tent, that no one saw how Kurt appeared in the middle of the ring. It looked as if he had just appeared and of course, he had. The smell of sulfur was hanging in the air as the music was starting softly in the background. It was a dull, deep melody with tubas and trumpets and drums as a dim light blue spotlight began illuminating the young acrobat in his skintight pants. He only wore pants, much to Peter's delight, but his body was covered in beautiful silver lines and after a second, Peter realized that someone had just painted Kurt’s scars with shimmering silver paint and his fur was glittering oh so subtly. Beside him, there was a hoop lying on the ground, tied to a thick rope hanging from the ceiling. As Kurt grabbed the rope, Peter was not yet sure what he was going to do but it soon became very clear that the rope and the hoop were ascending slowly as Kurt began whirling the hoop around him, holding onto the rope only with one hand. His poses were immaculate, polished like those of a professional ballet dancer before he lost the ground under his feet and held onto the rope with both hands, his legs stiffly stretched behind him as he slowly circled upwards.

Only as he was at least five meters above the ground, but still ascending, Kurt pulled his chest to the rope only to flick his entire body upside down, his legs stretched in a split with the rope between them, before he knotted them around the rope and then twisting the rope down his left leg all the while the hoop was circling dangerously close like a pendulum around him. Peter grabbed onto the bench as Kurt let go of the rope with both hands, hanging upside down only by the rope around his leg. He knew that Kurt was safe, still, his heart stopped for a second as the music build up further as Kurt stretched out his arms as if they were wings, the metallic lines, and the glitter in his fur now clearly visible to everyone.

Kurt had always been a lover of big band music and that showed as the real song started to sound from the speakers. Peter knew the song and he couldn't help but grin in the darkness around him while the singer slowly sang the first words of the song just as Kurt slowly slid down the rope and grabbed the aerial hoop with both hands to descend further. _Cry me a river_ from Mari Wilson had been one of Kurt's most favorite make-out songs of all time ever since they got together after Peter had put it on the mixtape he made Kurt. He was moving like water splashing down from the rope and onto the hoop, slowly dripping into the hoop and then almost splashing down, as he dropped and hung upside down again, held only by his pelvis as he stretched the legs forward. He made it look so easy and yet Peter could hardly imagine how much strength it really took to keep up those poses. He could see the way his muscles contracted in the spotlight quite clearly.  

Peter was almost thankful as he grabbed the hoop again and changed position, but he almost  wanted to shut his eyes as Kurt then decided it was a good idea to lie on his back, the hoop pressing into the flesh just above the waistband of his pants as he dropped chest and legs  to almost leisurely hang downwards. His tail was his only means of keeping his body balanced. Margali grabbed his hand as the music picked up again and in an instant his boyfriend hung from the hoop only by his right arm, keeping the distance short as he showed what he could really do with his body and how he was able to contort it into all the most impossible directions, always keeping the control. He was almost sure that Kurt did some of this on purpose to scare him and the audience, especially as the big finale drew close and the hoop began turning almost violently fast with him holding onto it just with the strength of his arms, stretched out almost impossible as he was ascending again and then, as the music drew unbearably loud and the rhythm too fast, Kurt dropped from the hoop entirely. The audience screamed and the blue devil vanished in a cloud of smoke only to reappear in the center again and make a bow with the most mischievous little grin Peter had ever seen.

The crowd erupted into cheers just like that as the light turned on again to illuminate the devil in the center truly. Most people jumped up to cheer for him even, but Peter couldn't move. He just sat there and grinned the biggest grin he had ever shown the world as Kurt was panting and enjoying the moment. He couldn't think of anything but grab him and smother him with kisses. He needed to wait, of course. He couldn't do it, as much as he wanted to and that made everything just oh so much worse truly.

Kurt’s mother sat beside him cheering for her son and Peter could think of nothing else but to throw him against the nearest tree and ravish him until he wouldn't know how to spell his own name any longer. The moment seemed to go on forever with flowers being thrown to welcome the devil back into the circus and cheers tearing the nightly silence apart. It seemed to be hours later as Kurt finally stepped out of the big tent through the back where the performers usually entered and the moment he did, Peter grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him into a feverish kiss, forgetting all about being cautious. No one was back here as far as he was aware and without waiting for any answer, he scooped Kurt up in an instant and was gone from the clearing, diving into the dark nightly forest before he pushed Kurt against the nearest tree to continue where they left off. He dropped even the teddy to the ground not caring for that piece of plush any longer.

»I didn't know you could do these things.« Peter breathed against Kurt's lips as they parted just for a second. If Kurt was confused about the sudden attack, he didn't let it show and Peter could not help but jerk in surprise as he already felt how Kurt was fumbling impatiently with his belt.

»Yeah?« He grinned as he brushed his tongue over Peter's lips to taunt him. »You don't know a great many things about what I can do with my body.« As if to underline his words, Kurt shoved his hand down Peter's pants and grabbed his member just like this. Needless to say that there was no need to do anything to get Peter in the mood as of right now.

»Show me then.« He hissed as Kurt was not so very gently tugging on his manhood, freeing it from Peter's pants in an instant. »You don't know how hard it was for me to sit there and be still.« A moan escaped him and at least he didn't need to be too silent out here. He didn't even think about the glitter and the paint on Kurt's body or that it would rub off on him too. It wasn't important. especially not as Kurt suddenly grabbed his shoulders and turned them around forcefully. Peter’s back slammed almost painfully into the tree, but all of that was long forgotten as he felt Kurt's hot rough tongue on his sensitive skin. He had gone down on both knees even faster than Peter had been able to see.

»Oh god, do you even know how much I fucking love you?« Peter breathed as he braced himself against the tree and looked down on his wicked boyfriend. All he got in return was a snort and Kurt looking up to him with a smirk pulling on his lips - although it was hard to tell as he had the mouth quite full at the moment. »You're all glittery.« Peter mocked before he grabbed a fistful of Kurt's hair and scraped his nails over his scalp. »We will never get this off your fur…« His words died off in another moan that Kurt pried from him with his skilled tongue. There was no way to compare this demon to the teenage boy Peter first met. This Kurt knew what he wanted and how to get it. He was not shy about his body, not shy to take advantage of his allure.

Kurt's tongue scraped over his skin rough like that of a cat as he licked down the entire length of his shaft until Peter couldn't take it any longer and pulled Kurt up in a second only to push him up against the tree again with a menacing grin. »You are not getting off the hook so easily, Babe.«

»You find me shivering in fear.« Kurt grinned but threw his arms around Peter's neck all too willingly as Peter was already pulling impatiently on his tight black pants only to find that Kurt was not wearing anything underneath. He was not even surprised. His little devil was just like that, always a provocateur, always mischievous.

»I suspect you might be a devil after all.« He hummed against his skin as he gingerly bit into Kurt’s neck.

»Maybe I am … Are you going to sell your soul to me then?«

»Haven't I already done so?« Kurt hissed quietly as Peter managed to pull off those ridiculously tight pants only to press him tighter against the tree as he was now standing between Kurt's legs. There was no time for getting off his own clothes now. There was just the urgency left that he felt burning inside of him as he closed his left hand around Kurt's already waiting member. Kurt's moans were always like music in his ears and especially now with the memory of what he had witnessed tonight, thinking about all the ways Kurt could fold his body.

It was rushed and heavy as Peter finally was able to breach the resistance of Kurt's body with his cock after not much of preparation and was welcomed inside once more and yet Kurt was all too eager to move against him as he thrust his head back against the tree to let out a shaking moan. Kurt's back was scraping against the tree as he threw his legs around Peter's waist and flung his arms around him even tighter, his burning hot kisses were desperate as Peter thrust up into him as hard as he was even able to. Peter made sure that they were far enough away from the circus so that they couldn't be heard and yet he suddenly was worried someone might hear them still for all those sweet little screams he could draw from Kurt whenever he would accidentally hit his prostate. Maybe that was why he couldn't let go of Kurt's sweet lips because otherwise, one might hear them after all. Of course, that was nothing but a petty excuse to devour his boyfriend fully.

Kurt's claws dug deeply into his skin as they were melting into each other but he was sure that Kurt's back would look even worse than his own. Peter pressed his own nails harshly in Kurt's ass for support and the resulting little scream as he let go of Kurt's lips sent shivers down his spine right away. As Kurt tried to get his lips back, Peter only bit his lower lip before craning down his neck as he felt the urge to follow the line of Kurt's neck with his tongue down to his collarbone.

Once again Peter was glad that Kurt weighed so little to him. Kurt was all too eager to grant Peter even more access to his neck as he threw his head back again to let out yet another hoarse moan before he proved again how agile and restless he was. »Let me down.« He breathed with tiny beads of sweat running down his forehead. He was so close that he was able to count them as he slowly lowered Kurt back to the ground and slid out of him even though it urged him to go on.

Kurt was quick to recover as he grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the tree only to sink to the forest floor and pull Peter on top of him. To his biggest surprise though Kurt turned around onto his stomach and Peter was all too eager to pull up his hips before sinking back into that silken heat all the while he witnessed with glee how Kurt's tail was curling itself around Kurt's waist and then closing itself around Kurt's manhood to massage it thoroughly. Kurt was clawing on the ground already, leaves tangled in his hair as Peter grabbed a hold of his hips again and thrust deeply, impossible deep almost, into him. His own head was already spinning out of control as he built up the same fast hard rhythm Kurt used on himself.

No matter how often they had sex, no matter how often he thought it couldn't possibly get any better, Kurt always surprised him and he knew by now that he would never get enough from that feeling of having him so close, of feeling him so close, of being sheeted so deeply inside of him that it was almost as if their bodies would fuse together.

A part of him, this nagging little voice in the back of his head, was still angry for what happened a few days ago in Ellhofen. But he was getting to the point of forgiveness slowly yet surely. Especially now as he felt Kurt's body tense with every thrust that catapulted them both closer to their desired release. As he changed the angle ever so slightly to brush against Kurt's prostate more often now, a shiver ran through Kurt's spine and made him curl his toes into the ground as pleasure was hitting him hard.

As Kurt came with a shuddering little scream, he pulled Peter with him right away, his muscles spasming and tensing closely around Peter in the process. Peter threw back his head in a scream of pleasure of his own, riding out his own orgasm now slowly, lazily almost. Cum was slowly dripping out of his boyfriend as Peter pulled out and sank down onto the floor to Kurt who just fell to the side and rested there beside him, exhausted from the day.

»We could need a bath.« Kurt chuckled as he cushioned his head on his left arm, resting comfortably on his side beside Peter and just staring at him. It was beautiful, really, almost as beautiful as in the beginning of their trip. Through the canopy of tree branches overhead, he could see the starry sky and close to their spot, he could hear the gurgling of the creek Kurt had fallen into yesterday. »You're covered in glitter and paint now.«

»That was worth it.« Peter laughed and joined Kurt in lying on his side if only so he could put his hand on Kurt's naked waist. They were same in this regard. They both constantly needed to touch each other. Not being able to do so in public, really had taken a toll on them both already. »I got you a teddy.« Peter smiled and lazily pointed to where the teddy lied on the dirt ground.

Kurt laughed quietly, his voice still hoarse. »I'm going to tell them tomorrow.« He then breathed and his eyes were solely focused on Peter now.

»Don't rush anything.« Peter gently replied and brushed his fingers gently over the soft velvet of his side. »I mean it, Babe. You don't need to rush things because you think you owe me that. I really like your family and I like this place. You are happy here, I can see that and I want you to be able to enjoy this a bit more. We don't know how they might react…«

»But if I don't do it, I feel that Amanda might do it for me. She is not a bad person, but she is jealous and she does not respond well to being told no. My family has to hear it from my own mouth, not hers.« He mumbled. »And I want them to know that you are more than just my best friend.«

»I'm proud of you, Elf.« As Kurt rolled his eyes, Peter pinched him. »I mean it. You've come a long way. You are not the same person you were when you first left this place. And no matter how they might react, I'm here. I'm by your side. Always.«

»Kurt?« A female voice echoed through the forest just as Kurt wanted to say something and both of them jolted up suddenly wide awake again. »Pietro? _Kurt du verpasst deine Feier!_ [You’re missing your party!]« The voice sounded again and Kurt scrambled to hastily get his pants and pull them back on while Peter just as hastily pulled up his pants and closed them. They shared one last kiss and a smirk as Peter grabbed the teddy and handed it to Kurt before they moved towards the voice.

****

**-End of Chapter 5-**


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Translation:   
> Doch - still, after all, however, yet  
> kitschig - sappy

»I can't believe that I went all my life without that!« Peter all but moaned as he took another bite of his _Laugenstange_ but Kurt could hardly focus on his lover or his _Laugengebäck_ right now. While Peter was devouring one thing after another, leaving the cook in awe, Kurt, who was already used to that sight, had a hard time even nibbling on his own pretzel as he was absentmindedly pulling the soft fluffy white crumb off piece by piece. »I'm pretty sure that's a gift from God and you cannot tell me otherwise!« Peter continued to praise the food before he finally noticed the hesitancy with which Kurt was gnawing on his food. »What's wrong, Elf?« He nudged him gently and Kurt was pretty sure that he had wanted to call him _Babe_ in front of everyone but stopped himself quickly enough. »You still hungover from last night?«

It was not as if every night was a party night,  but last night had been one. After the show, they had gathered for drinks around the campfire to celebrate Kurt’s big comeback after the last guests had left and Kurt had spent the entire night clutching his new teddy while downing beer after beer. Only in the early morning hours Kurt, the special guest, had been allowed to go to bed. Of course, though, there had been quite a few remarks over the fact that Peter's clothes had been stained with silver paint and glitter.

Peter, however, had always been good at distracting people and finding stupid excuses for nearly everything, as if he had a catalog of possible scenarios and how to maneuver himself out of them saved in his brain, just in case. Still, Kurt was covered in glitter even after the shower he had taken. He wanted nothing more than a proper bath and his rubber ducky and a foam beard.

»No…« He managed to reply but it came out more like a little wail.

»You look green.« Peter smirked and ruffled through Kurt's unruly dark hair before he stole a piece of Kurt's pretzel to stuff it into his mouth. »You need to puke?«

»No…« He made again and was tempted to stuff the rest of his pretzel in Peter's mouth just to shut him up. »I'm just … _nervous_.« He whispered the last word so quietly that no one except Peter would hear it. It didn't take Peter long to understand what he meant and his left hand gingerly closed itself around the back of Kurt's neck to give him a seemingly friendly reassuring squeeze, as best friends probably did.

»I'm here.« He murmured quietly. »Everything will be just fine, okay? I'm with you.«

Kurt caught a glimpse of Amanda. She stood close to her girlfriends and was chatting away the early morning over a cup of steaming hot coffee. Just as he looked at her, she looked away, but he was sure that she had been looking at him before. Should he talk to her first? Settle everything? Was there anything to settle?

»Kurt, Darling, is everything alright? You look a bit green. Did you drink too much last night?« His mother sat right on his other side and, apparently, she had noticed his condition too, which was hardly that surprising. As Kurt lifted his head just a bit to look at her, his mother’s eyes were drilling holes into his very soul already. His mother had always been able to read him like a book and a tiny voice in the back of his head wondered if she already knew what was coming. She was a fortune teller after all.

As she began to rub soothing circles on his back, even his brother threw a concerned glance at him from across the table. »Everything is fine.« He replied and did his best not to snap at her despite just how anxious he felt. He knew that he didn't need to tell his family right now. He knew that there was still time and that he could just as well wait until he and Peter would go home anyway. He could spend a bit more time with his family in harmony and not destroy everything with this confession that he had to make. Had it been horrifying before in the face of Father Michael, now it seemed as if he was staring through the gates of hell and he knew that there was no escaping that fate.

Back in the day, he would have trusted Amanda to keep a secret like this, but now? He couldn't risk it that she would be fed up with his lies and tell everyone. He needed to do this himself. He needed to be strong and just as brave as Peter. But how should he do this? Was there a right way to come out to one’s own family? It had been easy to come out to their friends, mainly because Jean had known anyway and Ororo had tried to set them up. But this was something very different.

»Mom … Could we … I mean … I need to talk to you and Stefan…« He could feel Peter’s gaze on him and he could imagine how he was biting his lip again in that way he always did when he was unsure if to say something or not. He didn't need to see it to know he was doing exactly that. Peter was just as nervous as he was and he could almost hear the switch that was flipped in Peter’s head as he went into adult-mode again. That was how Jean had once called it. It was the moment when Peter started to get serious before changing back into his usual playful, carefree, childish self.

His mother nodded with a bewildered look on her face that swiftly turned back into worry at her son’s so serious tone of voice. Not long after that, they were in his mother’s trailer, the biggest one of the entire circus. It still smelled like her inside the trailer, just as Kurt remembered it from growing up inside this very vehicle. His own bed was still here, although hidden away now. He had slept on the convertible couch all his life and his mother had always made sure that he had a nice warm bed and a bit of space just to himself while growing up. Kurt had never felt as if he was missing something back then, but now, as they sat around the small table, Peter and him on the couch that had once been his little kingdom, he was amazed by how small everything suddenly was. It had been enough back then.

Stefan's forehead was covered in worry lines as he leaned back in the wooden chair opposite of Peter and Kurt, all the while his mother was preparing the teakettle. She needed to busy her hands, that was the only reason why she did it. It was almost as if she needed to brace herself for what was about to come, as she finally poured herself a cup of tea and sat down opposite of Kurt, right next to Stefan. Unlike Stefan, her face was the mask of serene calmness he had grown up with disrupted only ever when she had gotten angry.

»So … What's wrong?« Stefan finally asked, his English suddenly a lot more broken than before. » _Is_ anything wrong? I mean … did something happen? Is there anything-«

»I'm gay.« The words slipped out just like this and before he could think again before his mind could scream at him not to say it. It almost felt like a relief as it happened and a lot stronger than before too. He had said it and now he was ready to face what was coming his way as he felt how Peter subtly grabbed his hand under the table while his tail curled around his own left leg. His mother's face did not change even in the slightest bit, Stefan, however, looked truly bewildered as if he needed to wrap his head around what Kurt had just said, unsure if he was translating it wrong and so, after a moment of hesitation, he switched back to German, although he wanted Peter to understand what was said. »I'm gay.« He repeated quietly in his mother tongue. »And Peter is actually my boyfriend.« Only slowly Stefan seemed to understand. »I-I understand if … I mean … If you don't want anything to do with me now … Bad enough that I look the way I do … Bad enough that I'm a mutant … Now I'm gay too … That has to be a shocker, right? I'm sorry, Mom … I didn't mean to hurt you with that … It's just … It's just who I am … You know?« He couldn't help that his voice started to get thinner and thinner with each word as he lowered his eyes to his knees in the uncomfortable silence inside the trailer. And while his voice had started to trail off quietly, Peter's grip on his hand had just become stronger as he stared Kurt's brother and mother in the face like an angry pit bull ready to attack if they would say anything mean. Peter was still so overprotective sometimes. It was cute, but sometimes it was a bit ridiculous.

»Is that all?« His mother finally sighed as she took a sip from her tea and placed the cup down gingerly again. Kurt nodded quickly, expecting the storm to hit now. »I was worried that you would tell us you were ill, Darling.« Kurt's head snapped back up and suddenly he was not sure if his mother had understood him. »Now that that's out of the way, we can all go back to our day. I’m assuming Amanda knows this already, otherwise, you would have asked her to join us too, right?«

He could only nod half-heartedly at that. »Mom…« Kurt began although there were alarm sirens going off inside his head telling him to not probe further. »Mom … Did you get what I was saying?« He had to know. He had to get it all off his chest now.

»Of course, Honey.«

»And … you are not surprised … or angry?«

»Honey« She sighed and brushed a hand through her strawberry blonde hair. »There's one thing you should always keep in mind: No one knows you as well as your mother does. Sweetheart, I raised you your entire life, I taught you to walk and then I taught you to fly. I taught you to find out who you were and who you wanted to be in life. Why would I be angry now? And surprised … Well, it was hardly a surprise after I first saw you both together. It's actually quite obvious that you boys are an item.« She still smiled warmly at them, but Kurt refused to just take it that way. She _had_ to be angry and disappointed just like Peter’s mother had been.

»Hold on« Stefan suddenly interrupted her. »You are actually okay with this?« Kurt felt his heart drop a little as Stefan cut off their mother like this before he looked at Kurt and then Peter again. »You are okay with him thinking he is gay and sleeping with another man?«

»It's his decision,  Stefan. As long as he is happy I don't have any reason not to be okay with this. It does not change anything.« Her eyes were now focused sternly on her eldest son, but though his mother had taken it very calmly, Stefan seemed not to.

»But it does!« Stefan hissed as he jumped up with his hands balled into tight fists. »You can't possibly let him ruin his life like this!«

»Stefan…«

»No, Mom, I will not stand by and watch this!« He was out of the trailer before anyone could say anything to stop him and as the door was slammed shut behind him, Kurt already felt the lump in his throat getting more and more unbearable.

It was Peter who made him realize the few tears that were rolling down his face as he gently brushed them away. He felt cold and empty and crushed by his beloved big brother’s reaction. Stefan had always had his back and now he was rejecting him at last. He shouldn't be too surprised. Yet, it hurt.

»Peter … would you mind if I would go for a walk with Kurt? Maybe you would like to try out one or two things around the circus. I'm sure the others are glad to teach you a few tricks to add to your repertoire.«

Peter looked only at Kurt and he could feel that as he refused to take his eyes from his knees. Still, he only nodded for Peter to understand that it was fine. They left the trailer together but then his mother crossed her left arm with Kurt's right one and clasped his hand as Peter slowly made his way out of sight apparently just as unsure as Kurt was. That his mother had taken it so calmly was still hard to believe to Kurt and he didn't know what to make of it, but Stefan's reaction had hit him much harder. Maybe a part of him had even hoped his mother would react more like Peter’s had. They would be even then. How hard was it now for Peter to experience that a mother could react differently than his mother had?

»So« His mother started as she was guiding him into the forest. As he had been a child they had spent hours and hours walking through the woods, especially whenever Kurt had had a hard time dealing with something or thrown a tantrum. He would have clutched his mother’s hand or run around picking twigs and leaves up. It calmed him down and his mother knew this. »Tell me how this came to be. You were so head over heels in love with Amanda back in the day and now your heart seems only to belong to Pietro, hm? What did he do to deserve you?«

Kurt was taken aback by her words. »What he did to deserve me?« He repeated quietly but with big eyes as he looked at his mother. »I think it's the other way around, Mom.«

»Is that so?«

»Well, we were friends first. We were both new at the school, both outsiders. In America, everything was so strange to me as I first got there and I was thrust in this whole ordeal with Apocalypse right on my first day there even. I didn't mean to become part of all this, you know? I was terrified of fighting. I didn't want to fight. But somehow I was involved and then I started to like it there. I liked the opportunities I had there. Of course, everyone looked at me differently than at the other students. Even for other mutants, I was an oddity. My new friends, Jean, Scott, Ororo, and Jubilee tried not to show me how different I really was, but I still felt it. And then there was Peter. We couldn't have been more different even if we had tried to be in the beginning. We were forced to share a room to get better together after this battle and somehow we became friends.« He began his story with a small sigh but followed up by a tiny smirk too.

Thinking back on all of this, he still couldn't quite understand how he and Peter fell for one another or why. Yet they did. »It was so easy to talk to Peter - or not to talk. He quickly became my best friend, even when we had our separate rooms later on. We hardly spent a day apart, with few exceptions. I was homesick a lot in the beginning. I didn't know where you guys were or how to contact you, I didn't even know if you worried for me or wondered where I was. Peter made it all a bit more bearable.«

»That does not sound like a great love story, Sweetheart.« His mother laughed a little and Kurt felt how his ears turned purple.

»No, it doesn't!« He grinned. »And it wasn't a great love story, we’re not in some stupid cheesy Hollywood movie, after all!« He did his best to sound affronted, but his mother could look right through that facade easily. »Well, you know … Peter was the one who fell in love with me, actually. I don't know why to this day. But he did. We had a hard time over this after I learned the truth about his feelings for me. I was horribly confused, you know? I never came into contact with this sort of thing before … I only knew about homosexuality from TV and all I got to hear on TV were horror stories about this condition, this _disease_. I was horrified when I learned that my best friend was one of _them_ and, even worse, wanted to be with me! I tried to avoid him for quite a while, actually. I did my best to not spend any time with him afterward. I didn't know what to do. Today I feel that I was just a coward. It wasn't just that Peter was gay and in love with me, I was afraid of what the other student might think about me would I have stayed Peter's friend. I felt accepted for the first time in forever at the school and I was so afraid to lose that again. Now I know that it was more than these silly fears.«

His mother put an arm around his waist and pulled him closer as she had done in the past. The only difference now was that it was her who would rest her head against his shoulder for Kurt towered over her quite impressively by now.

It was this little nudge he needed to continue while his mother kept her silence. »I don't know when I started to realize that I felt more for Peter than friendship. I got in a pretty bad situation and was all alone and helpless. I was sure that I was going to die, yet, there was Peter and he tried to save me. In the end, I ended up saving _him_ , but I was so amazed that he tried, that he came all the way to help me despite how awful I was to him before that. Peter never cared for how I looked, you know? He always told me that it was my looks that made me beautiful. I never believed him, of course. I didn't understand what he really meant and I felt a bit mocked too. Now I know that he meant it just like this. That he loves me just the way I am and that is more I could have ever hoped for.«

»Kurt, I don't think-«

»There was this girl, Jubilee. She had a crush on me after I first got to the Institute, you know? After I learned about her feeling for me I felt flattered and a bit arrogant maybe too. It was a different situation with Peter later. But I had to realize that Jubilee never saw me the way Peter does, you know?  She saw something exotic to show off to her friends and she tried to change me in every which way. My clothes, my behavior, the way I talk. As I got my image inducer, it was her who cheered me on to use it and it was Peter who hated it that I was hiding who I was right from the start. But it's not just about looks between us. He loves me for the person I am and that is a rare thing when you look like me, Mom.« He cast a small glance at her hoping that she understood what he meant and would not try to baby him once more, telling him how pretty he was as she had always done. »I don't want you to think that I fell for him because of some ulterior motive. After this problem I got myself in, I started to realize how much I have missed him in the weeks leading up to this, how much I missed being close to him, spending time with him, just doing nothing at all with him. I started to realize how comfortable I was with Peter and I started to realize that for a long time, I saw more in him than just my friend. I couldn't understand it before, you know? But as I had to see how those assholes knocked him out as he wanted to save me, I was so enraged that they dared to touch _my_ Peter…« He laughed a little for this was something he had not even told Peter.

»I talked to the Professor a lot afterward to get my head sorted out again. I was still so afraid, still so embarrassed and conflicted and those feelings only grew stronger the more I started to realize that he was the first thing I thought about in the morning and the last I thought about before going to sleep for a long, long time. I was so sure that this was my form of punishment from God, you know? Homosexuality was a sin, that was what I learned before and I didn't want to be even weirder than I already was…«

»And this Professor, what did he tell you?« His mother still sounded calm as she carefully probed further.

»He told me, that I could only find the answer myself.« He chuckled. »Not very helpful, I know. I knew that I was in love with Peter, that was not the problem at this point. I knew that I have been in love with Peter for a long time and that I always disregarded this feeling for just a very strong friendship. Only when I saw him getting closer and closer to one of our female friends, I started to grow more and more aware of how strongly I really felt. I got jealous. This was a feeling I recognized right away.« He then laughed. »My whole life I was always jealous. It was easy to recognize and try to deal with. But just as it was with Amanda and Werner, it was with Peter. I couldn't deal with my jealousy and the fear of being forgotten by him after all. Suddenly, I was no longer afraid of the stigma of being gay, but I was more afraid that Peter's love for me had been nothing but a fleeting little dream. Peter can hardly keep his focus on one thing for too long. He has ADHD and is always in motion, always antsy, always nervous. He once told me that only when he was with me he felt like his brain was coming to a hold for a few moments. I was afraid that this was just a lie and that he might tell Ororo the same thing. I wanted to be that person for him. I wanted to be the one grounding him and helping him to ease his mind because he was this person for me too. Suddenly, losing him became the most terrifying prospect I could ever imagine. I know, I know … All of this sounds incredibly selfish, right?«

»No one ever said that love is not a selfish thing, Honey.«

»But it wasn't just about me, Mom.« He sighed, desperate to explain himself properly and yet unable to really put his emotions into words. »I was so happy when I would notice how calm he was in my presence - not because I was the reason why he was calm, but just to see him calm. His mind is running wild all the time and he hardly ever slept, but when we were together he was relaxed and I enjoyed seeing him like this. And I enjoyed how calm I felt in his presence. There was no need to prove myself to anyone when I was with him. Does this sound selfish?«

His mother sighed but with a chuckle, she pulled him closer. »You don't need to justify your love for this man to me, Honey. I believe you when you tell me that you love him with all your heart. I can see that you do. Would you not do so, you wouldn't have told us.«

»I feel guilty, you know?« He then quietly confessed. »Peter told his family a while ago, just four months after we got together. He took me to his family to introduce me to them and tell them the truth and in the end, his mother disowned him. She hit him and she yelled at him and threw the most disgusting insults at her own son - and me. I felt that I owed him to do the same thing, to risk the same thing. He tried his best not to show it, but he was crushed by his mother's reaction and they hadn't talked ever since. I was afraid he would leave me because of that, but he didn't. We only grew closer. Last year, after the accident, he spent the entire time by my bedside, while our friends went on about their daily life. He had so much shit to deal with, yet he stayed with me and held my hand. He is a bit overprotective sometimes, but it's okay. I think he just doesn't want to lose yet another person he loves. And all I hoped for as I brought him here was that my family would accept him with open arms. I wanted him to have a loving family after his mother was so cruel to him.«

»He will always miss his mother, Kurt.« His mother chided him softly and Kurt nodded.

»I know.« He replied quietly, after all, he knew all about missing his mother. »But I wanted my family to love him just as I do. And now Stefan is disgusted by me and Amanda probably hates my guts.«

»You know your sister, Darling. She will get over it. Her ego is scratched, that's all.« As she rubbed his back he hardly felt better but at least, as they came to a halt at the creek, Kurt sat down on a log with a sigh only to dunk his feet in the cold water. »That she not already told everyone, even though she knows about you and Peter, tells you all you need to know. And your brother, well … It was a shock for him.« His mother smiled as she sat down next to him, before brushing off her sandals and dunking her swollen feet too. It was sometimes odd how much alike they were despite not being blood-related at all. »He will calm down eventually, Baby.«

»But what if he won't?« He couldn't imagine a world where he and his brother didn't get along. »All my life I only wanted to be accepted the way I am … And Stefan, he … I always looked at him for direction. He was my idol growing up. I couldn't bear it if he would be so abhorred by me.«

»Your brother loves you.« His mother tried to reassure him once again. »No matter what he might say or do now, he loves you and he has always done so. He will find his way back to you just as you found your way back to us. Give him time, that's all you can do for him now.«

To Kurt, it was an enigma how his mother could be so sure of that. Of course, she knew all of her children best and yet, how could she be so sure that Stefan would come back to him after this? This was no fairy tale. This was, sadly, the reality. »I don't know.« He murmured. »Not everything comes to a good conclusion in the end, Mom. This is not one of the fairy tales you told me when I was little. I mean … I always wondered if I would ever meet my real parents and I was always sure that if I would get the chance I would be patient and listen to them and try to forgive them for giving me away. Now I know my real mother and I feel nothing for her. Not even resentment.«

»Tell me about her.«

Kurt paused for a moment. He had known that his mother would want to know the truth just as he had wanted to know it in the past and she deserved it just as well. Still, he had troubles finding the right words. »I first met her in East Berlin, right before I went to America. She took me to the Institute, actually. I didn't know it was her then, of course. She became my mentor as we became the X-Men. I never even fathomed that she might be my mother and yet, looking back, it's a bit ridiculous that I never thought about it. She is a shape-shifter. She is the one we saw on TV all those years ago, the one that saved the President, you know? I still don't know why she gave me away. She told Peter about it last year, but her stories are conflicting and I don't know what to believe. She has never been the most truthful person, I must say. At the one moment she will tell you that it was an accident that I fell into the river and in the next moment she will curse and tell you that she wanted me dead.«

Until now he still had not come to terms with the reality of these things and he hadn't seen Mystique for a while now. Hank had told them that she just did that sometimes, submerging and going into hiding to do her own thing, but they all knew that she had left because of him. A part of him even felt guilty because of this. She had been a great mentor to them all and his friends had to miss out on this now because of his connection to her. It wasn’t fair.

»How do you feel about this?« His mother asked quietly if just to break the silence while the creek was gurgling softly at their feet. The cold water felt heavenly.

»Like crap, actually.«

»No swearing, Honey.« She chided with a small chuckle.

»I'm sorry, Mom, it's just … I was so confused as I learned the truth and so saddened by her constant lies. I felt betrayed by her for not telling me the truth right away and then I felt guilty for ever wanting to find out the truth. I felt ungrateful, you know? I had such a great childhood here and yet I wanted to know about my roots. I felt as if I was disregarding your efforts and love you showed me all my life.«

As she brushed her fingers through his hair he sighed and leaned his head against her shoulder. »It's normal that you wanted to know where you came from, Baby.«

»Aren't you sad?«

»No, Sweetheart, I'm not sad that you wanted to know the truth. I can understand that, Darling. Everyone wants to know where they come from. It's only natural and I expected it that you wanted to know this sooner or late. I'm glad that you know your roots now, but I'm sad for you, Honey. You deserved better than this and I always hoped that, if you would ever find your parents, you would be able to build a relationship with them. Or at least get a decent answer for your questions.« Kurt gladly leaned a little more into his mother's embrace after spending years of not being able to do so. »And as a mother, I'm angry that this woman lied to my sweet boy. If she would ever dare set a foot into this circus, I would probably scratch out her eyes - and that goes for anyone who mistreats my children.«

He wanted to talk to her about his experiences after he had left the circus. He wanted to tell her that he had been kidnapped and taken away to be ridiculed and tortured, but he didn't. He couldn't. There were many things he could never tell his mother. He had not even told her about the incident that led to his first teleportation in full detail and he did not regret never telling her. It had felt like as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders after he told Peter, but there were no secrets between him and his lover anyway. His mother, on the other hand, no, he could never tell her that because she would blame herself. This was his thing to deal with, not hers. And he had Peter by his side to help him with dealing with this.

»The same goes for your boyfriend too, Honey.« She suddenly said and made Kurt sit up a bit straighter again. »If he ever goes to break your heart, I'm breaking his legs.«

※※※※※※※

As the day progressed, it became clearer and clearer to Peter that Stefan Szardos was telling everyone who wanted to hear it the truth about Peter and Kurt. But it also became quite clear that most of them didn't really seem to care. As Peter walked around the place to try out juggling again, he was treated the same way he had been treated during the last days. He got one or two warnings that he better treat Kurt right unless he wanted to have an accident, but that was about the most reaction he even got.

A part of Peter was actually glad to hear those warnings. Kurt was loved in this place, and not just as an attraction. He was honestly, truly loved and the people cared for him. Even Amanda threw him a warning gaze in passing, but this might just as well be jealousy. Stefan, however, tried to avoid him like the plague since the morning. Sadly for him, it was not easy to avoid someone a fast as Peter, especially not when he was angry.

»That's not cool you know?« He groaned as he finally caught Stefan a little off guard as he found him leaning over an open engine hood from one of the cars to repair some part of the motor Peter could not even begin to name. »Running around and telling everyone about Kurt and me.«

Stefan scoffed at him as he threw a glance over his shoulder, oil smudged on his cheeks. He was almost impossible to compare to the young man Peter had met before. »It's not my problem that my brother decided to be a fag and runs around living like this and spreading this disease too.«

Oh, how much would he have loved to punch Stefan's teeth in for this comment, but he refrained from doing so as he leaned against the light blue car. Although his words were hurtful, Peter felt that there was something different than actual disgust that was the root of Stefan’s behavior. »It's his decision whether he wants to tell everyone or not. That's not your business.«

»It is. He is my brother. I always defended and protected him! And now that.« He growled. »He should have never left and he should have never gone to America. No wonder he caught it too after everything I hear about the US. Would he have stayed here this would never have happened.«

»No? But what then? Would he still be in love with a woman he cannot have and get his heart broken every day? Would this be better?« He asked as he tried to remain calm with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

»I told Mandy she should give him a chance! I told her that she should dump Werner for him! He would have been happy here, I would have just needed a bit more time to get her to understand. And only because one woman broke his heart there was no need to run off and start fucking another guy! Oh God, I don't even want to imagine that!« Finally, he stood up straight again and threw the screw-wrench he was holding in his right hand into his toolbox angrily.

»If that's really the worst you can imagine you should try to think about the horrors Kurt had to suffer after he left this place! Where were you when he was beaten and tortured? Is being gay really the worse you can imagine for your little brother?«

 _»Pietro«_ Margali Szardos’ voice was cutting as she interrupted them out of nowhere. He hadn't even heard her approaching the scene but as he whipped his head around now, Margali stood there with crossed arms but wearing a friendly smile on her round face. »Pietro, Dear, would you help me with something? Those old bones are not as strong as they used to be.«

Peter was reluctant to leave Stefan behind like this. He had said things he shouldn't have said to him and Kurt would probably strangle him for that. As Margali’s smile did not falter, Peter finally nodded and followed her. After all, he better tried to make a good impression on his boyfriend's mother. Kurt and he would probably never get to marry, still, she was somewhat his mother in law and it was always good to stay on the good side of the mother of one’s lover. Peter was wise enough to know that.

Margali was quick to lead Peter to a pile of heavy looking wooden crates. »What’s this?« He was pretty sure that he had not seen them before.

»Oh, that's our weekly delivery from the local farmers. A circus like this always needs a lot of supplies. Potatoes, vegetables, flour, salt, sugar, milk, you name it.« She smiled. »We are very lucky that the local farmers support our circus like this.«

He nodded with a big smile plastered on his face. A bit he felt stupid for never questioning just how they got their food and other supplies. »And you never drive into town?«

»Oh, _doch._ « Margali laughed. »A lot, actually, but buying our food in a supermarket or even the farmers market would be a lot more expensive than buying it straight from the farms around us. When we visit the town we do it for fun or shopping. Everyone is free to go whenever they like - as long as it does not interfere with the work.«

»Sounds nice.« Peter smiled as he lifted the first crate. He was certainly not weak, but a crate full of potatoes was a lot heavier than he had thought, still, he played it down as he sat it down again to place a sack of flour on top and lifted it again. »Where do you want me to put it?«

»Oh, the kitchen tent will suffice.« She lifted one of the smaller crates before they started walking.

»And Kurt? Did he went to town often when he lived here?«

»No.« She sighed. »He didn't. He wanted to, of course. He was a normal teenager, after all. He was in no way different than the other teens around. He wanted to visit the towns we stayed at and to have fun with all the other kids, only the other kids saw it a bit differently, I'm afraid. And although I am his mother and the boss of this place, I couldn't just force the other kids to take Kurt along, right?«

»No, probably not.« He sighed. »Although I would have probably tried, would he have been my child. Then again, I'm neither a mother nor a very wise person, I guess. I’m probably just a bit over protective when it comes to Kurt. Someone looks at him the wrong way and I want to tape them to a roof.« He added with a low chuckle.

»Kurt is no damsel in distress, my dear.«

»I know!« He laughed. »God, I know! Still, I can't help myself! I'm very aware that Kurt can kick ass - He kicked my ass numerous times already in the past whenever I got too cocky during training sessions. Yet … I don't know why … I just have this urge to protect him, you know? It got even stronger ever since me and my mother broke apart, I think.« They were walking slowly and the tent was still a good distance away.

»Kurt told me about what happened with your mother.« He was not even surprised that Kurt had told her all about this. Would this not be Kurt's mother, he would probably not be okay with Kurt telling someone, but Margali Szardos was a loving, kind-hearted, sweet lady. It was easy to see why Kurt became the way he was.

»I didn't think she would react that way, to be honest. She was never the greatest mother on earth, you know? She drank too much, hoarded all kinds of crap, left me and my sister alone a lot and always took men over me and my sister. Yet, she was my mom and I loved her. I was sure she wouldn't react the way she did and that we would become one big happy family.« He avoided looking at Margali, that woman who had such a big warm heart that she had taken an orphaned mutant into her care and home and life without thinking twice about it. Had he been a visible mutant, his mother would probably not have kept him. »Ever since that happened, it had been only me and Kurt against the rest of the world, I guess. I want to protect him and make sure that he’s safe after everything that happened. I can't risk losing him. I know that I'm overdoing it from time to time, but Kurt always makes sure to make me aware of that. Kurt is much stronger than I am. He doesn't need my help or protection, but he is grounding me in a way I never thought possible and I don't know what I would do without him.«

The tent came closer while they spoke and Margali smiled at him gently. »You love him truly, isn't that so?«

»Yeah.« He breathed. »I do. With all my heart. I'm not gonna lie, in the beginning, it wasn't easy and I wouldn't have thought that I would indeed fall for him. But I did. It wasn't so much his looks that enticed me, quite the contrary actually. I always only dated women before, though briefly for the most part. I never dreamed of falling for another man, let alone someone like Kurt. We became friends quickly and it felt natural that we did. But slowly I started to realize that it was more than that. I couldn't stand being apart from him. He calmed me down, made me realize what's really important. I fell for his character, I think, first and foremost. I fell for his kindness and for his big heart. It needed a bit of time until I realized how beautiful he really is. How gorgeous and truly unique and not only because of his looks. And after I started to come to terms with my feelings, it felt as if it was supposed to be that way.« As they stopped by the kitchen tent and sat down their crates, he looked at Margali again with a crooked grin. »I know, that sounds … ehrm … _kitschig_.«

Margali laughed a little at this, but then he took a step towards him. She was a lot shorter than he was, but as she put her hands on both sides of his face to pull him down, he did so without hesitation, only to be rewarded with a kiss to his forehead.

»Not _kitschig_ at all, Darling.«

It still felt as if he had been knighted by Margali as he later lay in Kurt's bed with one of Kurt's books in his hands. He had found quite a few in English, actually. Mostly pirate tales. _Treasure Island_ by Robert Louis Stevenson, was only one of them and actually the one Peter had taken to read. Kurt was not yet here with him. Probably he was still talking to his mother. And Peter, though he tried to focus on the book, could not do it. He had read the same line already three times and yet did not know what it actually said. He thought about his own mother and the insults she had thrown at him back then.

As the door to the caravan opened he lowered the book to risk a glance and found Kurt sweating as he entered the vehicle as if he had been working out again. He probably had. The door fell shut behind Kurt easily and Kurt, much to his delight stripped out of his clothes without wasting time or caring for the wide open window at the long side of the caravan, leaving his clothes on the floor although that was usually Peter’s thing to do while he walked towards the bed. Now that they didn't need to hide anymore, Kurt seemed a lot more relaxed and that showed as he climbed on top of the bed to straddle Peter's hips on top of the blanket.

The book was ripped from his hands and thrown carelessly to the side as Kurt leaned down to rob Peter of one long kiss, all tongue, and teeth, deep and hungry. As Kurt leaned back again, still sitting on top of him, Peter was actually a little breathless but put his hands on his waist out of habit. »To what do I deserve this greeting, Babe?« He grinned sheepishly but was only rewarded with yet another kiss as the elf leaned down again. This time Peter was prepared and closed his arms around his back to pull him tighter and turn onto his side after a moment.

»I love you.« Kurt just breathed against his wet lips as they parted again and although Peter still didn't know what had happened to bring Kurt to this, he felt as if there were no words needed for tonight. It had been a long, stressful day and he was just glad to have Kurt with him still as his boyfriend snuck under the blanket.

****

**-End of Chapter 6-**


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks to Sakatari again for helping me plan out this chapter ^______^

The clearing in the middle of the large forest a little outside of Munich was quiet, only disrupted by the singing of a few birds that were sitting on the tree branches all around.

It was not as if Kurt had not noticed how Peter had watched him and the kids from a distance like the weirdo he was while Kurt was teaching those kids yoga. By now it was nothing new to anyone how weird Peter liked to behave and Kurt had decided to largely ignore him out here in the serenity of the forest. Yoga was actually not too uncommon to learn while growing up in the circus. It improved the flexibility, strength and control one had over their own bodies. For acrobats in the making, it was the ideal thing to learn and practice.

And although Peter knew that Kurt was doing yoga as warm up regularly he still looked at him and his group with huge bulging eyes. »How about you stop gawking and join us?« Kurt scoffed from his position stretched flat out on the ground on his back as he then slowly lifted his feet over his head and set them on the ground behind his head, putting his weight only on his shoulder blades as the only connection to the ground that remained.

»Oh, don't get me wrong, ma chère. I don't gawk because I haven't seen that before. I gawk because you are hot!« The older kids that already understood enough English snickered and Kurt only rolled his eyes. »And as for joining you: Have you forgotten the last time I did?«

»How could I ever forget that day…« Kurt huffed as he slowly changed positions again. He interrupted himself only to remind the kids to breathe evenly and deep. »You whined about your strained muscles for weeks. So, maybe you go and make yourself useful then. After this, you can join me practicing on the tight rope.«

»Sounds fun.« Peter laughed as he stood up from his spot on a bug infested tree stump before he turned around and left them behind. It was moments like this when Kurt hoped that Peter would not get too bored during their stay. Then again, as far as he could tell, Peter actually enjoyed working and helping out alongside all those new people.

Since his outing, a few days had passed and Kurt knew that their vacation was drawing to an end slowly but surely. As he dismissed his little yoga class a little while later, he stayed back and sat down on the tree stump himself to spend a moment by himself out here in the woods, surrounded only by the trees and the birds. He would offer the Professor to teach yoga when he came back. Maybe they could even bring him to build another gym - one with monkey bars and aerial hoops for people like him if there were any.

His brother had not talked to him ever since he came out to him and their mother. Therefore Amanda started to behave more like her usual self again - whatever that meant. She was still a little reserved when talking to him, but at least she was talking to him, asking him about his life in America and whether she could visit some day in the, hopefully, not so distant future. Oddly enough, although he seemed to have lost the brother he had been so close with in the past, he felt as if he was gaining back the sister he had lost a long time ago. Then again, it was all too possible that he was hoping for too much and would be disappointed in the end when it would turn out that all of this had been just a lie from the start.

As he made his way back to the circus grounds, he was quick to realize that Peter was far from being bored by his surroundings or the circus as a whole. »Are you trying to kill him?« He asked as he came closer to the scene that was unfolding in front of him between the caravans and colorful tents. Paul, their senior sword-swallower only laughed at his question and clasped his shoulder as one of his students kept instructing Peter. Needless to say that Kurt's heart dropped a little at the sight.

»Are you going to stay with us if I do?« Paul replied and the sunlight reflected from his polished head. Despite the fact that he was only in his early forties, he was already completely bald and Kurt hardly knew him any different which made him suspect that his boldness came by choice and not by circumstance. Therefore he had grown a long splendiferous dark beard over the years and his skin was tanned from years of work in the sun, the wrinkles around his eyes and mouth telling the story of a man who liked to laugh with his entire face. His old leather vest smelled from years of hard labor and booze, but it was a smell that was all too familiar to Kurt, just like popcorn and cotton candy in the night.

»No, I'm going to rip you apart limb by limb.« Paul laughed only a little louder at this and pulled him closer against his side. He had been the one person crazy enough to try and teach him how to wield a sword before Kurt had even known about that woman called Mystique.

»You've grown feisty over the years.« His laughter sounded a lot more than the bellow of a large dog than that of any human. »I'm glad to see that, little Elf. Don’t worry, we will not hurt a hair on his head. You get your boyfriend back in one piece and without a sword sticking out of him.«

»Yeah, that would be better for you, baldy.« He warned with a crooked little grin pulling on his lips. »And _do not_ give him to the fire breathers afterwards.«

»You worry too much, Kurt. The boy is alright. We make a proper artist out of him, you’ll see.«

Kurt only rolled his eyes at this but spared them both any further commentary, after all, he knew Peter best. He would lose interest very soon anyway. There were only so many things Peter could focus on for a bit longer than just a few minutes. Kurt was one of those things, apparently, but he doubted that sword-swallowing or fire-breathing would be.

»Tell him where to find me.« Kurt smirked before he left the men behind. He had no problem watching sword swallowing usually, only when it was his lover who did it. And of course, Kurt was aware how ridiculous it was for him to worry at the sight. As Peter joined him a little while later inside the main tent, Kurt was up on the tightrope already. First, he had not even noticed his boyfriend as he was making his way to the middle of the rope between the two platforms, but then he noticed Peter juggling with jars full of mixed pickles on the ground.

»Babe!« He yelled without a care in the world how the people around might react to the pet-name. Kurt almost fell from the shock that was delivered to him like this, for no matter how tolerant and open everyone around them seemed to be, Kurt was still a little unsure how to behave around Peter when they were in public. Just because they did not outright hate on them or shunned them, it did not automatically meant they accepted them either. Instead of falling, however, he felt his ears turn purple. A few of the other acrobats, including Amanda and Werner, looked first at Peter then at Kurt in surprise from down in the manege. »Look what I learned!«

Kurt dropped from the rope only to hang by his tail, applauding his boyfriend with a straight face. Peter seemed not even to jump as he did so, although he would probably do so, would Kurt be doing something like that from the height the rope would be later this evening. »Wow, _ganz toll_ , Petey!«

Peter grinned a little at his remark before placing down the jars of pickles carefully on the ground again and making a ridiculous little bow in the process. » _Ich weiß, ich_ learned _von den_ best.« Well, _now_ he was amazed. Sure, he knew that Peter had tried to learn German before. Not just for him but because his father had been born in Germany, but he had never made much progress. He could understand a few things, mostly those Kurt would drop randomly and without thinking too much about it, but he had never attempted a real sentence before. He had liked to blame Kurt for not being able to learn as he had visited the German class Kurt had begun teaching during the past few years because the teacher had apparently been too hot to focus. »Your mom taught me a bit.« Peter grinned as if he knew what Kurt might think.

»When?« He laughed. He had last seen Peter only half an hour ago, then again, half an hour might as well be five hours in _Quicksilver_ time.

»While I was learning how to juggle.« Peter laughed and as he grew tired of yelling he zapped up to him and crouched down on one of the platforms that the rope was attached to as of right now. They were five meters above the ground now. Tonight, Kurt would be much higher than this. Kurt smirked and hurled himself up by his tail again to land properly on his feet on the rope after doing a small summersault. He could not impress his boyfriend with something like that, of course.

»So now you wanna learn how to walk the tightrope?« He asked as he slowly made his way back to Peter. His feet still knew how to do it and it was a great feeling to be back up here and realize that his body had not forgotten one thing. Up here he was in his element. He knew what he was doing and he felt safe even without a net to catch him. It was a different thing in America, at the Institute. There he felt so unsure of himself most of the times, as if he had forgotten who he was and what he could do. And yet there he had developed a form of confidence that he had been unable to develop in the circus. Here he had only ever been the freak to people, there he was part of the team, part of the normal daily life at the Institute. He was respected and trusted. People came to him for advice even. Being here now after years again with those things he had learned in the U.S. felt weird still.

»Of course.« Peter grinned. »Though I cannot promise to learn anything. The teacher is too hot to focus.« Kurt couldn't help but pinch Peter’s nose as he arrived at his end of the rope and climbed on top the platform.

It turned out that Peter really was not the greatest student when paired with him as his teacher. No matter what Kurt tried to show him and how to use his feet on the rope to make it across safely, Peter just zapped across in a flash of silver. The day went by like this too, in a flash of silver, with Peter zapping across camp to learn from all the different artists and try out everything while Kurt was too involved in his routine. It was a little while later as Kurt found Peter helping out around camp. He was checking the safety measures on the trapeze and tightrope with two of their usual tech guys, lending the cook a hand or two, and mediated a fight between two six-year-old girls in a mix of broken German and English.

Needless to say, it was those two girls that were accompanying Peter as night fell and as he sat down with popcorn in the front row of the big tent as the show of the evening started. Kurt saw him through the curtain before his performance of the night. The two little girls sat on each side of him, both clutching one of his arms and staring at each other with spite in their eyes as they apparently had found something new to fight over. And Peter, well, he seemed to enjoy the attention he got from the girls while Kurt was stretching and warming up behind the scenes. His performance today would be nothing too special or advanced, just some tricks on the tightrope, although one might say that they were advanced and special. Peter would say that.

To Kurt, however, those tricks were like breathing. It was second nature to him, just as the limelight was and the cheers as he emerged from the shadows for his act. Tonight he was not wearing glitter, but only because he talked the makeup artist out of it. He had spent days washing it out of his fur and his bed sheets were still covered in it. Still, he had let her paint his scars again. Back in the day, he had worn elaborate costumes and played the devil for fun, today he was embracing that he was an adult and had a nice body to look at and the people in the crowd seemed to love it as he stepped out of the shadows that had completely hidden him from sight and onto the rope as his music started.

He was starting out fairly normal, holding a metal pole in his hands in front of him for balance as he was slowly making his way to the center. The words of the ringleader were echoing through the tent and made the pole vibrate between his fingers. »...ten meters high without a safety net!« Were the words he caught while focusing solely on what to do. He made an effort of moving with a bit of uncertainty, the rope vibrating heavily under his every step, swaying from side to side just enough so that the crowd would fear he might fall, before he dropped the pole and as the shocked gasps sounded from the audience, his tail caught the pole in mid air and he flung his body around into a handstand instead. He had done this a million times before and he still enjoyed scaring his audience a little, before showing off. Yes, Peter was right, he was a show-off, but at least they had this in common.

Still, as he continued with his act, playing pranks on the audience as he flipped around the tight rope by his tail or landed with ease on one foot after a somersault, he noticed that the rope was swaying a lot more than it should. Somehow it didn't feel as safe as he was used to, but he looked down to Peter who stared at him with big eyes, forgetting all about his popcorn, he brushed off his concerns and continued instead as if nothing was wrong because the possibility that there was nothing wrong held too strong to be irrational about that tiny bit of gut feeling that was making itself known to him. It was not loud enough to overthrow the voice of his ego anyway as he threw the pole into the air and caught it in mid air doing an aerial cartwheel.

The snap, as he landed on the rope with both feet and the pole in his hands, was so loud as if a lightning bolt had struck the tent.

Later, he would want to say that he had noticed his fall only when it had been too late already, but this was simply not the case. He was aware of every second and every detail. He had never fallen from the tightrope before, ever since he had declared that he wouldn't need a safety net. And the rope had never snapped from its fastening.

He fell so quickly and so abruptly that even he himself let out a startled cry and the crowd was screaming, unable to do something as he fell to his doom. Before he could even think to teleport, however, there was a gush of cold wind and a flash of silver before the tent grew oddly quiet. Before he could even understand what happened, he found himself in the spotlight once more down in the manege. Peter’s eyes did not rest on him as Kurt realized that his boyfriend had somehow managed to catch him. Instead, Peter just stared at the crowd wide-eyed like a doe in the headlights of a truck before he let Kurt down on the ground slowly. Only then Kurt noticed, that Peter had saved the metal pole too and held it in his right hand.

It took another moment, but then suddenly the crowd burst into cheers and applause, some even jumping up in amazement and Kurt was quick to nudge Peter in the side before he bowed theatrically. Peter joined him a little more awkward. Apparently, they thought this had been some kind of daredevil stunt and they loved it.

»Oh God, how do you do this every day?« Peter breathed as they were finally able to sneak out of the tent through the artist entry a little while later. »This was terrifying!«

Kurt only shrugged his shoulders at that. To say that he had not been scared when it happened would be a blatant lie, of course. »Stuff like this happens, that's why we have a safety net most of the times.«

»I don't mean the fall! I mean standing in front of so many people! Holy hell … I could never do this…« It was almost endearing how Peter seemed unable to cope with standing in the limelight. Peter, of all people! Still, the shock still lingered in the back of his mind and he was sure that the same was just as true for Peter.

»Kurt!« It was his mother who came running towards him. »Is everything alright? Are you hurt?«

»No.« He breathed and drove a hand through his hair. Out here the air was chilly despite the time of the year. Inside the big tent, the audience was still cheering as the next act took Kurt's place in the spotlight. »I'm fine.« Despite the shock of the rope coming loose, he knew that he had never been in any real danger. His mother nodded but shot him another look of concern before turning around to leave again.

»Are you really fine?« Peter asked as he grabbed his shoulder to get his attention. He looked a lot paler than usual. »You fell at least six meters before I was able to catch you!«

»I'm fine, really, Pietro.« He sighed and pinched his nose. »Stuff like this happens. I would have teleported into safety _rechtzeitig_.« Of course, Peter didn't believe him and that was evident by the way he kept staring at him, but finally, Peter just flung his arm around Kurt's waist to lead him away from the fifteen-meter high tent. Had he not teleported away in the right moment or had Peter not managed to catch him, he would be dead.

»God, my heart's still racing.« Peter mumbled as they were making their way away from the crowd for now. »At least this time I was able to catch you.« Only in that moment, it clicked in Kurt's brain how freaked out Peter really was. He had not thought about how it had looked to Peter as he had seen him falling - again. As he snaked his arms around Peter’s waist now too, he pulled him closer a little. There was nothing he could say to ease Peter's mind about that horrifying déjà vu, so he didn't even try. »Is that normal? I mean, that a tightrope just snaps like this?«

»It's not unusual.« Kurt replied after a moment of hesitation. »It's rare, but it happens.«

They reached the campsite and sat down on the steps to his trailer after they snatched two bottles of beer from the cooler in the kitchen tent. After the first sip he felt a lot better, Peter, however, was still fidgety beside him and so he rested his head on his shoulder to get him to calm down.

»And you don't think it was sabotage?«

Even the thought of it made him laugh and sit up straight again. »Sabotage?« He laughed. »No, of course not! Who would sabotage my performance?« It wasn't too long that Kurt realized that Peter was indeed serious.

»I'm just saying ... What if _someone_ … this Werner-dude, perhaps, had something to do with it? He hates your guts!«

»No … Pete, no. It was no sabotage. Why would he do this? Why would anyone do something like this anyway? Sure we are not getting along, but he would never dare something like that. That sort of thing is way too dangerous to risk! I mean, even if it had been him sabotaging the fastening of the rope, what if it had not failed when I was up there who could easily teleport out of danger? No … Werner is an idiot, but he is not that dumb and reckless. If he would want to hurt or kill me, he would do it in person.« Maybe the thought was not too far-fetched or as outrageous as Kurt likes to portray, but the implications were too horrifying for him to even contemplate.

Peter kept staring at him before he took another sip. »I hope you are right because if you aren't, I punch the guy’s teeth out.«

The tightrope accident was still on everyone's mind the next day as the fastenings of the tightrope were repaired and double checked. Needless to say that Peter got himself involved in this mission right away. Detective Maximoff was born, apparently - much to Kurt's dismay.

»This is getting ridiculous, Petey.« He sighed later as they sat together eating lunch on one of the benches at the camping table. He had barely seen his boyfriend during the morning hours, as Peter had been too occupied getting involved with the security measures of the circus. Well, he should not complain, he guessed, after all that way Peter at least learned something new.

»I just want to make sure that you are safe at your next performance.« He replied while chewing eagerly to finish up and go back to work. There was already sweat glistening on Peter's forehead from a mixture of physical work and the heat of the day. The air around them was heavy with an upcoming thunderstorm that would probably hit the area tonight.  

»Ooooh, how sweet of you, Baby.« Kurt grinned and ruffled through Peter's silver hair before he smooched one fat kiss to his cheek. Peter just grinned at that because unlike Kurt, it was virtually impossible to embarrass Pietro Maximoff.

»Would you stop that?« Another voice was suddenly interrupting the serene calm that lay over their camping table. »There are kids around and we all don't want them to catch it. Can you not be content that we let you stay without rubbing it in everyone's face that you are faggots?« Peter jumped up before Kurt could even do anything about it, but at least he managed to grab a hold of Peter's white t-shirt to hold him back so that Peter would not aimlessly attack Werner as he was passing by them.

»Who are you talking to, Asshole?« Peter immediately growled, but before Werner could say anything else, it was, oddly enough, Stefan who called for Werner to leave them alone and join him instead.

A part of him felt betrayed as he got to see how Werner joined Stefan on one of the other camping tables and faintly heard his brother say something along the lines of ‘They aren't even worth it’. Peter stood there beside him for a moment longer before he sat down again and made a point, staring across the campsite to Werner and Stefan, to grab Kurt's left hand in an iron clad grip for everyone to see. It went without saying that it made eating with fork and knife increasingly harder, but unlike Peter, at least Kurt had his tail to use to his advantage.

During the next two days, Peter was learning more and more about how the circus worked and how to make sure that security measures were failsafe and set up properly while Kurt, to his amazement, got an offer from Amanda to revive their old trapeze act from when they were children. Of course, he had noticed the venomous looks from his sister throughout the last few days whenever she had seen him being extra close to Peter. He wanted to believe that it was indeed pure jealousy fueling these looks of hers, but on the other hand, he tried not to think of her as a jealous beast. The most important part, however, was that he would fly again and as the night came, he felt a little more nervous than usual. He blamed his fall just a few days earlier, but he would never say anything, just tried to ignore that gut feeling he got.

His mother would undoubtedly tell him that it was not wise to ignore that sinking feeling in his stomach. Yet, Kurt climbed the platform without thinking too much about it as the time for him and Amanda came. They hadn't done this performance in years, ever since Amanda’s relationship with Werner had put a strain on their relationship as siblings. There was a great deal of trust required for an act like this, especially when there was no safety net.

In all honesty, as he arrived on top of the platform, he was still amazed that Amanda even offered this to him, that she apparently trusted him enough to do this despite everything that had happened between them not just lately but in the past too. Kurt had never liked to get lost in illusions of a perfectly happy life and he refused to think that everything between him and Amanda would be fine and dandy again just like back in the day when they had been children. But he wanted to enjoy the moment as long as it lasted. As the ringleader introduced him and Amanda to the audience, he stepped closer to the edge of the platform. His stomach did a little jump as he looked down. It was odd that he felt a little more nervous than usual, but he knew that he was not in any real danger. He found Peter down in the crowd, joined by the little girls again.

What could possibly go wrong if Peter watched over him from down there?

He made eye-contact with Amanda on the other side to make sure that she was ready before he took another step forward and dropped from the platform. As the audience yelled in shock, he caught on to the trapeze with his tail and hurled himself up with ease to come to a sitting position on the trapeze, lazily swinging back and forth for a moment as Amanda got ready on her side. The second trapeze got released by one of their helpers and swung into the space almost violently. Kurt had his back half turned to it as he pulled one knee high towards his chest, securing himself only by holding onto the rope with one hand as he was still building up momentum, swinging back and forth.

As the second trapeze swung high towards the mast and Amanda’s platform, his sister grabbed the trapeze with one hand leaning outwards from her platform, clutching the mast with the other hand before she pulled the trapeze closer, and in one big swing leaped forward, grabbing the trapeze with both hands and swung in a large half circle towards the middle of the tent. As a child, he had always envied her for her talent and her body control. Even now he could see how every last muscle in her body was contracting as she swung, hanging from the trapeze with both arms stretched and building up momentum further and further, her whole body swinging in the motion a child would do on a swing set with its legs. He watched her swing back and forth in a half circle three times before she switched arms and turned her back towards him. Her poses were graceful as she took one hand from the trapeze to stretch it over her head and with one last swing she landed ever so gracefully like a dancer on her platform again.

Kurt started to swing higher as the music was building up speed and even though he had his back now fully towards Amanda, he knew what was happening behind him.

After his tenth swing in this position, he dropped his upper body backward until he held onto the trapeze only with his knees and it was right then that Amanda left the platform again to swing into the center with both her hands clutching the trapeze like before. They missed each other just by the width of a hair and the crowd was gasping as they almost collided. The weird feeling in his guts started to ease off now.

As Amanda was almost back at the platform, she quickly pulled herself up on perfectly firm stretched arms, pulling her feet to her backside as she swung closer towards him and as they were both on the highest point she leaped forward only to be caught by Kurt.

The crowd erupted into cheers as his sister hung by his hands. Would he drop her, she would die. Kurt felt the urge to look at Peter, but he could not afford a moment, even a second of inattention as he twisted his arms to hurl Amanda back up into the air. She let go of his hands, turned her body in mid air and grabbed onto her own trapeze once more before landing on her platform once more.

It felt like flying as Kurt went into a split with his legs stretched as wide as possible upwards before he pulled himself up into a sitting position again. He hadn't realized how much he had missed flying like this during the last years.

A few swings after this, he repeated what he had done before and Amanda did the same. This time, as she left the trapeze, however, she did a roll in mid air before Kurt caught her and then easily threw her back to her own trapeze.

The scream that ripped from Amanda’s throat as the rope that held her trapeze suddenly snapped, made him freeze to the bone. He had not seen what happened so quickly as it happened. He only saw how she fell. His body reacted quicker than he could think as he dropped further, holding onto the trapeze only with his long toes. Amana screamed and desperately tried to catch him and as Kurt managed to grab her with his left arm, Amanda's hands gripping onto his wrist desperately, there was a sudden surge of pain violently going through his body. He knew that the sudden violent tuck dislocated his shoulder before nausea could overwhelm him or before he realized that his toes had uncurled in shock. He pulled Amanda towards him with his other arm as they fell and teleported to the ground so fast that she crashed into him as they fell the last few centimeters to the ground.

Everything after this was a blur after he passed out shortly from the pain. At least he did not get sick all over the stage like he had seen others do before after dislocating their shoulders. As he came back to his senses he did so with another jolt of pain as his shoulder was popped back in by none other than Otto the clown.

Peter was hovering close by as Kurt came back to the land of the living, but it took him a moment to realize where he was and what was really happening around him. The world was still spinning as Otto was fixing up his arm with a little hum on his lips and Kurt could only assume that Peter was waiting for the clown to finish and leave before he would come even closer to make sure his elf was alright. »Is he going to live?« Peter scoffed as Otto knotted the sling together that would hold his shoulder in place from now on. At least in front of strangers, Peter’s poker face held strong, but Kurt knew all too well how worried his boyfriend really was.

»I’m afraid so.« Otto laughed and clapped his injured shoulder lightly. Kurt flinched but didn't say anything.

»So, you saved the girl and became the hero again.« Peter sighed as Otto left the tent with just a few instructions for the elf to follow in the next few days - Not that either Kurt nor Peter would follow them anyway. »Happy now?«

» _Methinks_ you are angry.« He coughed as he leaned back against the pillows in his back again. Their medical tent was not very big, just large enough to house their equipment and treat small injuries from visitors and acrobats alike. Otto was in charge of a ton of band-aids in all shapes and colors. As a kid, Kurt had always persisted to get the ones with the pirate motive, of course. He still liked them best.

»Oh, _youthinks_ I'm angry?« Peter repeated as he uncrossed his arms and walked up to the small camp bed Kurt had been disposed on earlier. His voice was lacking humor, though. Kurt didn't need to ask to know that it had been Peter who had brought him here. There was a trend establishing and he didn't like it. He was fed up with being the one who needed saving. Then again, something like this did not happen every day and Peter was anything but his knight in shining armor. Would they put it in numbers just how many times one of them had saved the other, they would probably soon realize that Kurt was leading in this regard. He could hardly count the times Peter had gotten too reckless and got himself in so big a trouble that he had needed some handy teleporter to get him out of harm's way.

Still, this needed to stop.

»How’s Amanda?« He asked before Peter could even begin to form an argument out of this situation because Kurt was very well aware that this was just as sure about to come as the thunderstorm that had been waiting to hit for days now. He could feel it sizzling in the air and the ends of his fur. »Is she hurt?«

And as if summoned by his words, Amanda burst into the tent, in her tow Margali. A part of him had hoped that Stefan would join the women of their family too, but he didn't. Instead, Amanda was in his face before he could do anything about it, pulling him into a tight hug and pressing a kiss to his left cheek. »Oh, Kurt, you are alright! I'm so glad! The wire … it just snapped! I couldn't do anything about it!«

»It's okay.« He replied after a moment he needed to catch his breath again after she had squeezed every bit of air out of his suddenly very fragile lungs. »Stuff like this happens. It's no one’s fault. And no one would have been able to prohibit it from happening.«

He saw Peter's gloomy look at him and Amanda, but Kurt was very aware that this was not about Amanda hugging him or about Peter being jealous in any way. It was much later as Peter and Kurt had a chance to talk in private again after seemingly everyone else wanted to check in on their most favorite elf first. It was a bit odd and he could only attest it to the fact that they somehow seemed to see him as some kind of hero after seeing him on TV, but he did not think that they would have reacted the same way had something like this happened before he ever left the circus.

For the rest of the night, Amanda had hardly left his side and that fact only earned him more gloomy looks from Werner throughout the night. More than once he caught him spouting insults at him behind his back and more than once he heard how Werner told anyone who wanted to hear it that it was Kurt's fault Amanda got almost killed because - apparently - Kurt had been the one _demanding_ that there would be no safety net. Werner had, like so many people in this world, a total disregard for the truth whenever it played into their narrative to do so.  

It was true that Kurt usually performed without a safety net ever since he had discovered his teleportation ability, for there was never any real danger for him at play would he fall. So, maybe it was his fault. He had not demanded that there would be no safety net tonight, he had merely not thought about the issue and Amanda had not said anything. She had trusted him in this regard. She had trusted him with her life even. Other than a few scratches Amanda had gone away just with a shock, but still: She could have died had Kurt not been able to catch her.

»So you really think that those were accidents? Two in a row?« Peter asked again as they were slowly making their way back to Kurt’s dark blue trailer a little off to the side. Together they had unrolled the white and blue striped canopy that was attached to the vehicle a few days ago and his mother had even decorated it with a blue paper lantern hanging in the middle to give off just a bit of light in these dark hours. It felt a little like coming home to Kurt, as he saw his trailer from afar while above their heads he finally heard the first rumble of thunder in the distance. Finally, the long awaited storm would hit and clean the hot and humid heavy air around them. »Is this really what you believe or is that what you want to believe and tell everyone?«

Kurt rolled his eyes as noticed faintly how Peter shoved his hands into the pockets of his black jeans. He was still wearing the pair with the large hole in the right knee although Kurt had more than once told him to throw them away. Peter had just told him that he knew nothing about fashion for saying something that outrageous. Was he shoving his hands into his pockets so he would not be tempted to touch him? »You still think it was sabotage? And who do you reckon might be guilty of that crime?«

»You really need to ask that question, Elf? This Werner-dude of course, like I said before! He has been a little shit from the start!« Peter replied now a bit more furious than before after he had had hours and hours to retain his anger about the situation. Kurt's shoulder pang with pain, but he only clenched his teeth and moved forward. A bit of wind was coming up and blowing through the wood around them. The lampions around them softly swayed in the breeze.

»You are so paranoid, Pete.« He sighed again as he clutched his shoulder softly as if that would make anything better. »He would never do something as stupid as this! Amanda could have been killed!«

»Maybe that was what he wanted!« Peter replied heatedly. »Although I'm more inclined to think that he wanted you killed by this _accident_.«

»The rope could have snapped with everyone! something like this is … No, Pete. No. I don't believe it was sabotage and I'm starting to grow sick and tired of this argument. Werner is an asshole, yes, but he would not do something like this. It was an accident. Punkt. He would not stoop that low to sabotage rigging. Shit breaks all the time!«

»Oh, please, Kurt!« He groaned as they arrived at the trailer. »Don't be so naive!« He would lie if he would say that this choice of words would not strike a chord in him. He hated nothing more than to be called naive after everything he went through. He was no longer the old Kurt, the oblivious teenage boy that came to the U.S. and looked at every new thing with large eyes. Still, often enough Peter treated him like this and it made him furious.

And what if Peter was right in the end? _Of course, he isn't right._ But what if he was? What if the rigging would not have broken tonight under Amanda’s weight? What if it had broken later during the evening or maybe tomorrow? What if someone else got hurt and only because Werner wanted to teach him a lesson?

»Kurt, really, I'm serious.« Peter sighed as they stepped under the canopy and only then he took his left hand out of his pocket to grab Kurt's right wrist softly. »I've been to American schools and believe me: I know a bully when I see one and this guy is seriously going to keep trying to take you down a notch.«

A part of him wanted to shake off Peter’s offending hand as the anger inside him only grew stronger. Was Peter still thinking so little of him that he honestly thought Kurt would not know when he was dealing with a bully? »Don't act like I wouldn't know he is a bully.« He hissed as he bared his sharp teeth at Peter. »Don't forget that I grew up with this guy, not you. He could bully me as a child because he was bigger and stronger and could assert his dominance like that-«

»Yes, exactly! And now you waltz back in here and steal the limelight from him and in his eyes just for being a freak! He wants to take you down a peg! He wants to show you your place again!« Kurt gasped for breath in disgust, but Peter was faster - as always. »Look at the situation through his eyes, Kurt! Just for a second, try to get into his headspace! His girlfriend just broke up with him as soon as you came back to this circus. We both don't know if Amanda told him why, but he can't be that stupid, in all honesty, not to think about the possibility that it was because of you! And now imagine his outrage when he realized that it was because of you, and even more outrageous that you were the one turning down someone like Amanda! Try to imagine what this did to an ego like his! He was left for a gay mutant, a freak, a weirdo who once wanted to fuck his own adopted sister, the demon who had been babied by everyone all his life and who's now a hotshot hero and thinks he's too good for the circus and Amanda anymore. _Let's see what a hot shot he is with a broken leg._ That's what he’s thinking, Kurt.« The grab around his wrist only got stronger as if Peter was aware that Kurt was so close to ripping his wrist out of his grip.

»Oh, I see, so you are a telepath now too, huh?« Kurt hissed as he finally managed to get his wrist free again and shoved open the door to his trailer so hard that it slammed against the wall.

»You act as if I want to hurt you, Kurt!« Peter groaned but followed him inside. The first heavy drops of rain started to hit the canopy. »You act as if I was the bad guy merely for telling you this!« As they were both inside and the lights switched on, Peter closed the trailer door behind him, but Kurt made a beeline for the bed. He was in pain and he was angry and he wanted to sleep.

»But you keep acting as if I was just some stupid, naive little child!« Kurt hissed again. He would not even try to get out of his tights tonight. He was tired and didn't want to argue anymore. »You act as if you would know everything! You can't know that it was Werner! I can't know that! It was accidents and that's it! Can't you just let it slide for once and let me enjoy my family before we are going back to the Institute again? Isn't it bad enough that I lost my brother already? I’m starting to getting closer to my sister again but you keep arguing about silly accidents!«

»They weren't silly accidents! You could have been killed!«

»When have I ever been in danger?« Kurt groaned as he threw himself on the bed.

»You just dislocated your fucking shoulder!« Would this be a comic, there would be steam coming out of Peter’s nostrils now as he was fuming with anger about Kurt's stubbornness. They were both so incredibly stubborn. They both didn't want to give in. As much as Kurt didn't want to admit that Peter might be right with his assumptions about Werner, as much Peter didn't want to admit that he might be wrong with his assumptions about Werner.

»Yes I did and now I want to sleep because I’m in pain and fighting with you does not really help my mood, you know?« He didn't want Peter to be right. THat was the whole problem with this. He didn't want him to be right.

Even as Peter finally joined him in bed after a short while, Kurt could only think about the implications if Peter were indeed right. If Werner had wanted to hurt Kurt, he nearly got Amanda killed. Surely that would not have been in his interest, but it still happened and therefore, Peter just could not be right.

In this night they slept back to back, barely touching one another as the thunderstorm hit Szardos’ Circus.

 

**-End of Chapter 7-**


	8. Chapter 8

The night had been rough with a lot of little kicks and tossing around in the suddenly way too small bed inside of the little blue caravan at the side of the forest. The morning after was maybe even a little rougher with a lot usage of the word ‘idiot’ added to virtually each and every little statement.

»You know it's obvious that you guys love each other.« Amanda smirked later in the day while around them the circus was buzzing with activity. »As much as you call each other an idiot, everyone can see it.« Kurt could not help but to roll his eyes at her comment as he sat down the crate of oranges that he had been carrying under his right arm. It was awful having only one arm that he was able to use and a part of him was wishing desperately for an enhanced healing factor. Sadly, in this regard, he was all too human. »And now I feel like a total idiot for even thinking that I would have a chance against this guy. I should have known it right when you guys first set a foot into camp.«

She was not even blushing as if the topic of her crushing on her little brother was nothing she would be ashamed of anymore. She probably wasn’t. Amanda had never been the type to be ashamed of anything or embarrassed about something. She was a strong and brave woman and that was something that Kurt had always adored about her.

»Don't worry, no one in the whole wide world is a bigger idiot than Pietro Maximoff.« That there was no comment being fired back at him now was only a sign that Peter was indeed not close enough to hear Kurt's cocky statement for once. It was not that they were really fighting in all seriousness now. It was just that they both did not want to admit that they were wrong. Of course, Kurt was not wrong anyway and if anything it would be Peter who would need to admit how wrong he had been last night. Until that happened, they would frown at each other instead until something would distract them from the issue. Usually, that _something_ would be a world-threatening disaster or some crazed maniac or cult like the purifiers. Or, in the worst case, it would be Professor X who would force them to talk about the issue in his presence.

He couldn't help but shiver just thinking about it. At least his mother had not yet tried to intervene. She had been satisfied with just staring at him and Peter judgingly and with smacking her lips throughout the day. »So are you going to show me how this works now or what?« Kurt then grabbed his sister’s attention again as he pointed towards the big tent. Luckily, tonight was no show scheduled and everyone had more than enough time to practice and repair what needed to be repaired.  

»I don't think that that's the best idea right now.« Amanda frowned her forehead a wasteland of thick worry lines. »I mean, you only have one arm.«

»I've got a tail.« This time it was on Kurt to frown at her ever so slightly. Of course, he was all too aware what Amanda meant with her objection, but he was much too stubborn to admit that practice with just one arm was a little less than optimal.

»Yeah, I'm very aware.« Amanda snickered as Kurt wiggled his tail enthusiastically as if to prove a point or remind her of its existence. Not to mention that his shoulder still hurt like hell, but he would much rather play it cool than admit how he really felt.

As his sister was still not willing to jump to the opportunity of teaching him something new, he jumped from foot to foot as he had done as a child. »Oh come on, Mandy, teach me, _please_!« His eyes were as large as saucers as he looked at his sister now, tilting his head to the side like an owl. He knew that this had always worked in the past - and it seemed to work now too.

»I'm glad to see that at least some things never change.« With a little sigh, Amanda led the way with a faint smile into the main tent. His heart jumped a little. He had seen Amanda practicing with the aerial silks since they arrived at the circus a week ago every day and up until this morning, Kurt had not brought up the courage to ask her that she would teach him how to use them too. To Kurt everything aerial was fascinating and when he would watch how Amanda was using the silk ropes so skillfully he was always so amazed by it.  

As they entered the tent, Kurt's eyes immediately took in the sight of their maintenance guys. They were repairing the trapeze that broke last night and with them was Peter, which was not a big surprise considering the commotion his boyfriend had made last night because of the accident. Peter was up there, checking on everything first hand. Odd, after all, Kurt was hardly in any condition to do another show anytime soon. »Is he investigating?« Amanda chuckled as she noticed the silver-haired man up there too and Kurt just sighed with a small roll of his eyes.

»He is.« He replied. Up until that point, he had not told his sister about Peter’s suspicion and he had not really wanted to anyway. »Detective Maximoff is back at it again. He is certain that it was sabotage as the tightrope snapped and the wire of the trapeze. He thinks Werner tries to kill me.« The last came out with a breath of air quickly, like pulling off a band aid.

Amanda looked at him puzzled, as if unsure what to think or say to this, but then she laughed. »Werner?« She repeated. »You know Werner, he is just a big idiot. Much bark but no bite.«

For once, Kurt could not quite tell if his sister was serious with this, but then again, Amanda knew Werner best of all the people around here. She would know if he was really capable of something like sabotaging the rigging of a highly dangerous act, right? Of course, Kurt would not put it past him, if he was honest, but he also knew that this was years of resentment speaking and not a sober observation of Werner’s character, so he only nodded at her words. He didn’t want to be a coward who feared an argument with his sister, but in this particular case, well, he was not sure if Werner was the one to blame. Why should he insist on it then? Peter was already doing that, after all.

»Yeah, I know you’re right.« He smirked quietly as Amanda was already gathering her things. Someone had set up the aerial silks for Amanda’s practice already now that it was her time. Some outsiders were quite impressed how well organized and scheduled everything was around this place. Most outsiders always assumed that life in a circus was spontaneous and a bit chaotic, but all of them knew that the whole thing would not work without schedules. He had never seen the aerial silks in use before anywhere he had gone and Amanda herself had only recently started to use them and not yet incorporated them into her shows. So, of course, Kurt was fascinated and eager to learn how to use them.

Amanda flashed him one of her most brilliant smiles as Kurt agreed with her and, as her little brother, he was quite aware what a rare occurrence that really was for them. Last time they had agreed on virtually anything was when they had been four and six years old, probably - and even back then they had liked to argue a lot more than actually agreeing on something, even if they had agreed with one another in secret. Kurt had thought it to be his duty to disagree with his sister no matter the topic back in the day and all this banter had proven to get worse and worse as they had grown up into adolescence.

»Pietro doesn't like Werner one bit, huh?« Amanda then smirked as they walked up to the silks hanging from their fastening in the center of the tent.

»Pietro does not like anyone who even looks at me the wrong way.« He laughed. »He is quite overprotective, most of the times.« He tried to play it down a bit because in front of Amanda he did not exactly desire to wash their dirty laundry. He was glad that he and his sister were starting to come together again, but still, this was something that was not for anyone except him and Peter. Having an argument was completely normal for any couple and they were most certainly no exception to that rule just because they were men or because they were mutants.

»And you can live with that?« Amanda asked and only as Kurt looked at her again, he grew aware of the questioning look on her face. Her cheeks were rosy this early in the day and her strawberry blonde hair was as messy as if she had not felt the urge to comb it after getting out of bed. Unlike most days, she was only wearing her favorite black leotard with a loose fitting red shirt on top for practice and no tights - which was odd to Kurt, for his sister usually wore a pair of black tights. He was dressed in the same loose fitting white tank top and pair of black shorts that he would usually wear for training in summer. »I mean, you were never quite the type to enjoy being babied - except for when you were sick.«

»He doesn't baby me.«

»But it seems like it.« A part of him thought that Amanda might try to achieve something with her words. Was this jealousy speaking out of her now after Kurt had rejected her a few days ago? Was she suddenly feeling the desire to maybe break him and Pietro up in planting a seed of distrust in Kurt? No, he tried to shake off those words, this was not like her. »I mean he seems to think he needs to protect you despite the fact that you are a hero, Kurt.«

»He’s a hero too.« He smirked. »Don't underestimate him. And yes he thinks he needs to protect me and yes sometimes he overdoes it, but he knows when he's going too far.« Or at least that was what Kurt was still hoping for. In front of Amanda, he would never voice his concerns, of course. »We've gone through a lot in these past years.« Despite everything, he did not want his sister to think badly of Peter. He didn't deserve to be thought of as a good-for-nothing kind of boyfriend or as being oppressive in some way.

»And you don't think he went too far this time?« She continued, but her voice was careful as she did so, for apparently, she did not wish to upset her brother in any way now. Maybe she knew what he was thinking already. »I mean you told him that you don't think it was sabotage and that you don't think it was Werner’s doing and yet he keeps pressing on and investigating the matter. Isn't this going too far in your eyes? I mean, why should Werner have done something anyway as I was involved? I could have died last night had you not managed to catch me.« Kurt knew what Peter would say to this: He wanted to play the hero. Had Amanda gotten hurt, he would have _a)_ tried his best to prevent it, and _b)_ accuse Kurt later of it being his fault. And although, yes, that sounded a lot like Werner, Kurt still refused to believe it. They might have never liked each other, but they were family. » Is this not … as if he does not respect your opinion despite the seriousness of his accusations? I'm not trying to break you guys up or put thoughts into your head. I'm just saying, would he be my boyfriend and doing something like this, I would not accept it.«

 _Maybe that's why you can't keep a steady relationship_ , a more bitter part of him thought, but he wouldn't say it, of course. Instead, he shrugged his shoulders and pointed at the silks again. »So, are you going to teach me now or not?«

There was still a part of him that was almost certain that Amanda’s words sprung from a bit of jealousy that was still left in her heart. She was a young woman who was not exactly used to being told _no_ and Kurt knew this. He, however, had done so. He, the freak, the mutant, the weirdo, the adopted little brother who had been in love with her at one point while growing up. She had probably thought it was safe to confront him about her _feelings_ and the shock as she got rejected by him must have been hard on her. Then again, Kurt did not believe for one second that his sister was in love with him at all. He would never dare to accuse Amanda of anything, but he was certain that it was not that kind of romantic love she felt for him that she had thought to feel for him. It was the excitement of Kurt coming back home after she hadn't heard of him for years, the excitement of knowing that Kurt was one of the X-Men and of seeing him on television last year - not to mention the concern she must have felt after the fact.

A part of him wanted to talk to her about all of this but right now he did not find the courage to do so. He was glad that he got his sister back and that they were getting along again, better even than they ever did before. He didn't want to fuck things up after he lost his big brother whom he so dearly missed. Stefan still refused to talk to him. He still looked the other way whenever their eyes would meet and act as if neither Kurt nor Pietro would exist. Even now as he noticed how Stefan entered the tent to help with the repairs, their eyes met briefly but Stefan grabbed the crate he was carrying harder and walked onwards.

It still hurt. But, he guessed, there was nothing he could do about it. Even if he would try and confront him, it would make everything just worse, that he was sure about. Well, not everything could go smoothly, he guessed and, after all, he had expected much worse before telling his family. He should be glad that it was _only_ Stefan he had lost.

Suddenly Amanda put her left hand on his right shoulder and gently squeezed it. »Stefan will come around eventually, Elf.« She smiled as if, once again, reading his mind. »You guys have always been inseparable, you’ll see, he’ll come back to you.«

As Peter joined them a little while later, after he got down from the maintenance mast again, Kurt was still practicing with Amanda or rather trying to. Just as Peter walked up to them, Kurt slid out of the aerial silks for the third time in a row. »It doesn't work, Mandy!« He complained over her laughter as he was crookedly hanging upside down now, holding onto one of the silks desperately with his good hand, his right leg entangled in the fabric.

»Of course it won't work!« She laughed pointing at his naked legs. He looked at her in confusion still holding onto one the other silk with his tail now to steady himself. It was not easy with only one hand and his tail, but it worked! Well, it didn't _work_ , but it was not because of his missing arm! »You’re fuzzy! Your fur is too soft, you can't get a grip on the silks like this! Maybe we should shave your legs!« She snickered, although Kurt was quite sure that Amanda was just pulling this explanation out of her ass and most probably lying him in the face without even blushing. It would not be new if she did something like that. Of course, his fur was soft and smooth, but her legs were smooth as well! At least he assumed it without actually touching them because that would honestly be nothing else but weird. Still, wouldn't it be easier because of his fur? He decided not to ask, after all, his sister seemed willing to fuck with him anyway.

»No! Not again!«

»No again?« Peter’s voice interrupted the bickering siblings as he stepped closer and made them both fully aware of his presence. Kurt was beside him in an instant and left behind the smell of sulfur as he did so. Before he could stop Amanda in telling the story, however, she blurted it out.

»We tried to shave off his fur once as he was little. We were sure his skin would look normal underneath. It didn't.«

»No, it looked awful.«

»Yeah … Turned out his skin is, in fact, blue too - only a bit lighter. It was so cute though. He ran to our mother crying like mad, screaming ‘ _I made a terrible mistake, Mommy!_ ’« At least Amanda found it still funny, apparently, even after so many years. Sadly, Peter stabbed him in the back too as he started to join in on her laughter, probably imagining the scene all too vividly.

»I was four - what did you expect?« Kurt sighed before he drove his hand through his already messy hair. »Anyway, that does not work!« It would be probably a lot wiser to deflect everyone's attention from his childhood stories to the aerial silks again.

»It would work better if you were wearing tights, Honey. Probably.« Amanda chuckled before she glanced at Peter. »But maybe Pietro would like to give it a try?« Of course, he would and Amanda had known this before asking him even. Until now, Peter had tried everything this place had to offer and the aerial silks would be no difference.

Within half a heartbeat, Peter had gotten rid of his shoes and held onto the silks with both his hands. Amanda was quick to instruct Peter in how he should try and grab the silks and wrap them around his legs. He was quick to hoist himself up by his arms and climb upwards of course, but unlike Kurt, he was as flexible as a tennis ball. He had no chance when it came to forcing his legs into a split or anything remotely acrobatic.

At least Kurt's ego did not get a scratch as Peter failed miserably - just like he had. Unlike Peter, however, Kurt had the comfort of knowing that he wouldn't have failed had he both his arms and a pair of tights. At least this practice lightened up the mood between Kurt and Peter again as his boyfriend finally gave up. Amanda, on the other hand, enjoyed showing off her skills as she was now showing the boys her routine. She made it look effortless and she probably enjoyed doing so to show the mutants that for once she was able to do something they weren’t even with all their superpowers.

»That's it.« Peter finally laughed as Amanda gracefully slid down the silks. »You are a witch.«

As Amanda laughed at Peter for his comment, everything seemed normal for a moment again, but like everything in his life, it did not last too long. Amanda’s laughter still hung in the air as two policemen entered the tent with his mother accompanying them. Kurt's first thought was that Peter had called them because of Werner, but as he looked at his boyfriend now and noticed how confused he looked, he realized that Peter had not done anything. He was not a very good actor or a liar and surely not even Peter would call the cops without having any proof at hand that there had been foul play at all.

Margali and the cops walked up to them without hesitation although his mother's face was a mask of concern, her lips pressed together into a thin line. »Kurt, Sweetheart« His mother addressed him of all people and suddenly he felt his heart drop into his stomach. Something was seriously wrong and he could already tell by her tone of voice alone. »Those gentlemen wish to talk to you.« Of course, she was talking in German now in front of the police officers, even though Peter would not be able to understand anything then, but that was not of such importance anyway, Kurt figured.

The police in Germany never got involved without a damn good reason and although Kurt knew that he had done nothing wrong or criminal even in the slightest, he felt nervous now in the face of the officers. Maybe it was the way they were looking at him. Their eyes were ghosting over his body from head to toe, his pointed ears to his claws and his tail, taking in his blue fur and his sharp fangs and everything else that might be weird about him. Hadn’t he seen them before? He felt like a criminal now as he looked at the men. Their expressions were unreadable to Kurt. What were they thinking? No, that was so stupid question. He knew what they were thinking or at the very least he could imagine it. They were probably thinking the same things everyone thought when first seeing him.

»Is there something wrong?« He asked hesitantly while Peter's eyes were resting on him in concern, trying to understand everything that was said. He could speak English, of course, but that would not be very polite in the face of the officers and he didn't want to make things any more complicated than necessary. Surely there was nothing wrong to worry about.

»Mr. Wagner, maybe we could discuss this outside.« One of the officers, a tall brunette man with strong sideburns and a large beard who looked like he was stuck in the seventies said and pointed towards the entrance of the large tent. He felt his stomach drop a little at this and didn't quite know why. Still, he nodded quietly but turned to look at Peter for a second. Of course, Peter would follow them even if he would tell him not to and so he didn't even bother as he was slowly following the police officers outside.

Kurt found the police car standing right in front of the gate, ready to turn around and drive back the narrow path. Odd. »Did something happen?« He asked again a little louder and more pressing this time as he was following them closer to their car, well aware that the other circus people were watching them intently. It was not that the Carney folk had problems with the law, at least not that Kurt was aware, but he was also aware of how people tended to look at Carney folks. They were always outsiders wherever they went, they were always the odd ones out that got pointed at when something happened in the town they were staying at. A robbery? Surely it must be one of those gypsies. A murder? A rape? Gypsies. That was how it had always been and so it was not a big surprise that the others watched on in concern.

He could see Werner not too far away chatting with one of his friends but his eyes were glued to Kurt and his face was far from showing any concern for Kurt at all. He seemed more or less a little disappointed about something. Had he hoped that the police would handcuff him and drag him through the dirt to their car like a beast?

»We got an anonymous hint that there is a dangerous mutant at the Szardos' Circus. The description fits you, Mr. Wagner.« The second officer, brunette as well, but a lot shorter than the first said now and his expression was almost unreadable as he looked at Kurt.

»Dangerous?« Kurt repeated with bulging eyes. »But I'm not dangerous!« Of course, he could be dangerous if he wanted to be.

»You know, Mr. Wagner, there have been a few thefts and robberies lately in the villages close by.« The taller cop added. There was no uncertainty about the way this guy looked at him. His eyes were full of disgust. »And there were reports that a dangerous mutant is harassing women.«

Kurt's heart beat unbearable fast by now and his stomach turned and clenched. »And you think it was me?«

The shorter cop seemed to be the more friendly one as he explained the situation to Kurt further. »There have been no witness reports of the suspect, but the anonymous caller did, in fact, describe the culprit as being a mutant with blue fur and a tail.«

»Well« The other officer suddenly interrupted. »The caller actually said that it was a _blue demon_ who attacked people and robbed them in the middle of the night and that the victims of those robberies have been too scared, to tell the truth, because they were sure no one would believe them.«

»But I have not stolen anything! You can check my trailer! I never left the camp since I came back!« Kurt immediately argued and pointed to the blue caravan. »Please, just check my trailer. I have not stolen a thing or attacked anyone!« He was not even surprised as the officers exchanged looks and then gestured to their car without even the hint of wanting to follow his plea in the slightest.

»We would like to discuss this at the police station.« As Kurt was throwing a glance over his shoulder, he noticed that Peter was right behind them, just as well as his mother and Amanda. From a distance, he could even see that Stefan had walked out of the tent and was watching the situation unfold. What if he had been the one calling the cops on him? Of course, he did not want to believe something so ludicrous, but after the anger that Stefan had conveyed … Somehow Kurt was not sure of anything anymore.

»Kurt, what's wrong?« Peter immediately demanded to know as he stepped closer, but Kurt did not answer him as he grew more and more aware of how the other people around them were watching the scene. He felt nauseous and he did not want to cause a scene. He did not want to be locked up and although he did not want to get in the car, he would much rather go on his own volition instead of being handcuffed like a criminal in front of the kids and his family.

He had done nothing wrong, so why should he not go with them calmly?

Peter, of course, saw this a little differently as Kurt made a step towards the police car. The speedster was quick to grab his right upper arm to hold him back at least for the moment, drawing surprised gasps from the officers. »What are you doing? You can’t just go with them!« He whispered, but Kurt brushed his hand off with his tail.

»Don't worry, it's going to be alright. I’ve done nothing wrong so they can’t do anything, right? Surely they let me go after they asked me about everything. You’ll see.« He would lie if he would say that he wasn't nervous. He had never gotten into contact with the police and the had not exactly been eager to change that fact. He had always been law abiding although some mutants were of the opinion that they since they were not human, did not need to follow the laws of humans.

»Kurt don't be so naive!« Peter immediately shot back but this only fueled Kurt to follow the officers. Maybe he was naive in trusting the police, but he had been raised to have trust in the police force - unlike in America, as it sometimes appeared to be. Living there, he had learned that most people tried to avoid the police like the plague, convinced that every police officer was a power hungry sadistic monster. Then again, some of them certainly were.

Peter was not the only person who called for him not to climb into the police car as he did and as one of the officers closed the door, it felt oddly final as if the lid of a coffin was slammed shut. The uneasiness he felt was suddenly stronger than ever before and there was nothing he could do about it. He was sitting inside that trap and the worst part about that was that he had walked right into it willingly.  

At least he was not handcuffed and, of course, he could always teleport out of that car whenever he wanted to. There really was nothing that was holding him in the back of this car except for his own moral compass and his belief in the good of people. They would soon realize that they had made a mistake and that it had not been him they were searching for. He was aware that all of this was coming from the hate against mutants that was further fueled by the news media as of the last few years and especially months. He heard it a lot on the radio and he was aware that Werner was listening to a lot of anti mutant propaganda - not that it really surprised him as he had first noticed that truth. Still, he wanted to believe that those men sitting in the front of the car would realize how dumb their bias against people like him was. Maybe he really was naive. It wasn't like he wouldn't be aware of how people tended to react to him and his looks, after all, he had seen the ugly truth before, but he refused to believe that most humans were like this.

As they drove off he only looked back through the rear window for a second. He knew that Peter would want to follow him and he could only hope that his boyfriend would not do anything stupid. The last thing he saw before they dove into the forest was, however, how his mother caught Peter by the arm to hold him back.

※※※※※※※

»That's bullshit!« Peter yelled as he pulled his wrist out of Margali’s iron clad grip. He could only watch how the car drove off with Kurt in the back. Of course, it would be easy for him to run after the car and get him out and it would be easy for Kurt to flee via teleportation, but this would not make the problem in itself go away.

Amanda had told him what was going on and the horrible accusations that had been brought forward against Kurt. Kurt would get chased until they would manage to get out of the country if he would flee from the authorities and soon he would be a dangerous mutant on the run who would be wanted across countries, like some monster, like a criminal - like Peter’s father. »He has done nothing wrong! Robbery my ass! When should he have done this? We were together the entire time!«

»But he could have done it if he wanted to.« The deep voice of Werner was suddenly trying to grasp everyone’s attention as he was leisurely stepping closer. »He could have easily teleported in and out of the camp whenever he pleased to and whenever no one was with him.« Amanda looked mortified as her ex-boyfriend had the audacity to fling his arm around her narrow shoulders as if to console her. It didn't take long until she was pushing him away, of course.

»Fuck off, Werner.« She growled as she stepped closer towards Peter instead.

It was true what Werner was saying, of course. Had Kurt wanted to do something like this, he would have had chances enough to do so and everyone knew this. But everyone knew too that Kurt would never do something like this. Unlike Peter, he was no criminal and especially no thief! »He would not even steal a piece of chewing gum!«

»Peter, Darling…« Margali began again as she put a hand on his shoulder. »We all know that he is no thief and that he never attacked anyone.«

»Maybe you should only speak for yourself!« Werner hissed and his friends, who by now came closer too, agreed with a little hum and wild nodding. »I surely believe that he is capable of stuff like this! He is not such a holier than thou angel as all of you make him out to be!«

Amanda and Margali threw dirty looks at Werner and his group and although Peter wanted to attack Werner and his friends for their words, he was turning towards Margali again. He was boiling with anger after no one had helped Kurt and just stayed put. »Then why did no one do something about that? We have to go into town and get him out of there again!«

»They only want to interrogate him, Peter.« Margali tried to calm him down as she brushed her hand lovingly over his right arm. »He will come back soon, I promise.«

But Peter would have none of this as he stepped away from Kurt’s mother and sister. »No, he won't! This was nothing but a smokescreen! They will put him in jail! And why? Because he is a mutant? Because he looks odd?«

»Yeah, and maybe he belongs there too.« Werner scoffed but was again hit with ignorance. Peter was itching to beat him up, though.

»All of you may turn a blind eye to the fact how Kurt is being treated by the police and even in the past by other people but I’m not going to! And if no one is going to help me get him out of this situation I’ll do it myself.« He growled. »Good to see that every one of you likes to put him on display for money but if it comes to it no one wants to help him for once.«

Without waiting for a response, Peter walked off in anger. He didn't care what the rest of all the bunch would do, he, however, would not sit around and do nothing. Of course, he had no idea where the police station actually was, but he knew that he would find it when he would just be quick enough to follow the car, which would not be much of a problem, he assumed. To his genuine surprise, however, Peter did not get very far as he was caught by Stefan.

»Pietro, wait!« He didn't stop but walked on, only to throw a glance over his shoulder and see Stefan jogging after him. »Pietro! Come on, Dude!«

»What do you want?« He growled as he turned around but kept on walking backward now. »Don’t tell me you suddenly care again.«

»Of course I care!« He groaned. »I never stopped caring! He’s my little brother, I will not let the police put him in jail for something he didn't do just because he is blue and fuzzy!«

Peter couldn't help but snort as he pulled his arm away again to move forward. »I can't stop you from following me. But I can ignore you just as you ignored your little brother after he scooped up the courage to tell his family the truth.«

Stefan said nothing at first, but at least he followed Peter into the forest and across the small path that the police car had taken. If he would run he would be able to get to the car in no time but he could not break Kurt out of the back of that car just like this. Maybe following the car was a bit nonsensical, but he did so anyway after he and Stefan got into the rental car Kurt and he had used until they reached the circus.

»I know I was an asshole to him.« Stefan finally admitted. »It was not right.«

»Look at that, the man has a tiny bit of a consciousness, I’m impressed.« Peter sighed as he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road ahead. »Took you long enough after you decided to flip out and treat your oh so beloved little brother like shit.«

»Listen, I know what I did was wrong but-«

»No, you don't know! Those are just verbiages to make yourself feel better about what you’ve done! Kurt looked up to you and you know that. He was afraid of telling you guys that, but he was more afraid of your mother's reaction than of yours because he trusted that his big brother would never shun him.« He growled. »And look what happened! Surprise, surprise the only person Kurt had never thought would ostracize him had done what? Exactly that. And why? Because he’s gay? Bullshit!«

»What do you know about stuff like this anyway? Why do you think you know what he feels or thinks.« Stefan frowned but something in the way he looked made Peter believe that Stefan already knew how dumb he was behaving.

»Oh, I don't know, maybe because I went through the same thing only that in my case it was my mother who threw me out.« He threw a glance at Stefan who looked at him a little more like a beaten dog now than anything else. »But only after she threw all kinds of insults at me and Kurt and attacked us. My mother rather wanted me dead than gay and Kurt was there to witness it. Still, he made the decision to tell you guys because he thought he owed me as much and because he wanted his family to know it. He wanted his family to accept him the way he is and funny enough, at least his mother and sister did. Despite the fact how Amanda first reacted to him, she _accepted_ him. She accepted _us_.«

»I can't go back in time and change what I have done, Peter. I can only try to repent and make it up to him.« Stefan urged him and the look in his piercing blue eyes was sincere at least. Stefan was not a bad guy and Peter was quite aware of that fact. He was just occasionally an asshole, apparently. But that was hardly a crime. Shortly, Peter had wondered if Stefan might have been the culprit behind the sabotage, but now looking at him he was sure that this was simply not true. Stefan might have acted like an ass, but in the end, he would have never tried to hurt his baby brother.

As Stefan spoke up the next time, Peter almost drove the car into a tree out of sheer surprise. »However, what I know for certain is that I’ll kick your ass if you break my brother’s heart.«

 

**-End of Chapter 8-**


	9. Chapter 9

Being locked in a police car was definitely a new experience for Kurt and that probably had to mean something after everything he had already seen and experienced. And after all those years that had passed by now, he still had his troubles with confined spaces like this. »Haven't I seen you guys before at one of my shows?« He grinned to play down his nervousness as he looked at the officers through the rearview mirror. »I mean, really, I could swear that I have seen you guys before!«

Again he didn't get an answer and so he just leaned back in his seat to rest his head against the backrest although he was aching for something to do or to find a way out at the very least. There was nothing he could really do anyway now. He could only sit and wait to face his fate in the hands of those cops. But until then, he might as well talk. The only nuisance in this plan was that the officers did not seem to want to answer him in any way.

However, now that he had more time on his hands to look at them from behind and through the mirror, he was almost certain that he had seen them before at the circus during the week he and Peter had already spent here in Bavaria. He could not remember if he knew them from before he had left the country, though. Maybe he was remembering them from somewhere else. Hadn't he seen them with Werner before too? He was not too sure of it, but the thought was in the back of his mind ever since he had first taken in their appearance fully, only that the thought had been blocked from his mind until now.

Again, he threw a small glance out of the rear window to look at the street behind. He could see no trace of Peter in any way and he was glad that this was the case. He did not need his boyfriend’s protection all that much, and he knew that Peter was aware of that but their fight last night had only shone a whole new light on that issue. They probably needed to talk about this, but of course, Kurt knew as well as Peter that this would probably not really change anything about that matter.

Not that it was an awful thing that his boyfriend wanted to protect him. It was probably totally understandable. And of course, Kurt too wanted to protect Peter in return. He loved him so much it almost hurt at times and he had never thought that he would get to that point in his life at all. He had been certain, after this whole thing with Amanda back in the day, that he would always be just an onlooker for the rest of his life, only a witness to the happiness and love of others around him. Yet, he had found Peter - or was it the other way around? It was hard to tell after all that time now. They had been drawn to one another like magnets. Funny, considering who Peter’s father was. Still, sometimes Peter overdid it. Was _he_ overdoing it sometimes too? Probably. No one was perfect, after all, and most certainly not him. Hell, he was as far removed from being perfect as it got.

»You are friends with Werner, aren't you? Werner Braun. The big blonde guy. Oh wait, that's not fair. We have quite a few big blonde guys at the circus, I guess.« Again there was no response but the longer he sat here and looked at them, the more certain he grew now. But what did that truly mean? Even if he was right and they were, in fact, friends with Werner, would this mean that they had targeted him because of Werner? Because Werner demanded them to? Were those accusations at all of substance or completely fabricated? He did not want to believe that the police would ever act solely based on accusations without substance like this.

But still, if the latter would be true, then why? Why would Werner do something like that? Well, to see him in jail, probably. But why would those officers play along without any proof? Had there been crimes at all? And if so, who committed them?

He didn't want to believe that Werner was behind all of this. It would be going too far, right? But if he had been behind these  _accidents_ too, as Peter had said … Well, how far-fetched would it be then that Werner might have instigated all of this? Werner was not very intelligent, though. Then again, the whole plan - if it was one - was not very intelligent either.

If he would assume that Peter was right at last and that those accidents had been no accidents after all, and that Werner was behind them truly, then he had gotten sloppier and sloppier, hadn't he? Well, it would fit in his usual behaviorism, he assumed. The first sabotage, if it was one, had been designed solely to hurt him, but it failed, the second one had been meant for him as well, but because he had not succeeded the first time, maybe he had gotten angry and made a mistake. Maybe he had confused from which side Amanda would come. And now that. If it had been Werner and all of that no coincidences, Werner would give it away all too soon anyway.

»You know … We have a long drive ahead of us if I remember correctly, so we might as well talk, right? I get bored easily and I like to talk. Or are you afraid I might be dangerous when I’m talking to you?« Kurt tried again with a deep sigh as they were driving through the forested area and onto the country road that was leading to the nearest township. »Talking is not my superpower … Just for your information. Although … maybe my friends would beg to differ. The ladies call me silver-tongue.«

At least he got a snort as a response from the driver, the shorter man. It was not much, but it was a start. »No, really, I’m hilarious! You should try it out! Here, let me tell you a joke … Let’s see … So … What do you think are the hardest years in the life of a police officer’s?«

»Would you shut up?« The taller of the two cops groaned and all but slammed his head back into the headrest of his seat. Would they be in America, Kurt would assume that he had not had his proper dosage of donuts for today. Maybe he could teleport into a bakery and get him a few _Berliner_.

»It's the first grade, but nice try though.« Kurt snickered and again got himself a snort from the driver. At least one of them had a sense of humor. »So the wrong-way driver says to the police officer-«

»What's that?« The shorter of the two officers suddenly asked.

»No, that's not what he says it's-« But then he saw what the officer meant and for once he shut up.  The first thing he saw was a column of black smoke rising up into the blue sky where a few dark clouds already spoke of rain again. It took him a moment and a lot of craning his neck out of the window at his right-hand side to see that the farm that was not too far off the road was going up in flames. The car drove on faster now as one of the officers already let out a call for the firefighters through the walkie talkie. They wouldn't be fast enough. Kurt knew that the firefighters would not be fast enough to get out the people that might be inside.

As the car stopped on the farmland with dust from the dirt road flying everywhere, Kurt saw the old farmer sitting exhausted on the ground in front of his house, his snow-white hair dirty from the smoke, and his eldest daughter beside him, grabbing his shoulders to hold him back as he apparently was trying to get up and back inside. It didn't need a genius to know that there were other people in there still. »I can help!« Kurt shot at the officers as they were climbing out of the car to leave their captive behind. »Please! The firefighters are not fast enough! There are others inside! I can get them out if you let me!«

His pleas fell on deaf ears as the doors of the car slammed shut. Of course, those officers would not listen to the freak in the back of their car whom they deemed dangerous. Kurt, however, was glued to the window of the car and stared outside as the policemen rushed to the injured farmers. He knew the old man. He was one of the farmers who used to deliver supplies to the circus ever since he was little. He had seen him this week as he and his eldest daughter Mila had brought them the vegetables they needed for the entire crew. Mr. Müller had four daughters, two of them should be in school at this hour, Mila was at his side, that only left Ingrid and her mother. If they were still inside the house they were doomed if they had to wait for the fire department! Those old half timber houses that were so common in this part of Bavaria burned like cinder and grew into raging infernos in just minutes after the first spark was ignited.

He could not just sit here and watch while Mr. Müller was close to a heart-attack!

He beat against his window, but one of the cops only glanced at him before turning away to keep Mr. Müller at bay again. They would not listen to him, that much was clear and he, most certainly could not just sit around and wait. He made the decision to act instead of abiding by the law in a split second and just as much time, he needed to _bamf_ into the burning house.

※※※※※※※

As Peter saw the column of smoke in the distance he almost immediately stopped the car. »What the hell?« He gasped, but Stefan was all too eager and quick to fill in the blanks as they were staring at the burning farmhouse in the not too far distance now.

»That's the Müllers’ farm!« Stefan breathed and had his hand already on the door handle as if to storm out and help, but Peter's eyes were glued to the police car that was parked on the perimeter of the farm. The two police officers were with two other people, probably the family this house belonged to. Was Kurt still in the back of the car?

Maybe he was selfish for thinking about breaking out Kurt in all this chaos. He heard the sirens of the fire department approaching in the distance. It would be only a matter of minutes now until this place would be swarmed with firefighters and ambulance men. In all this turmoil and chaos, it would be easy to get him out and into hiding!

It was only then that there was a cloud of blue smoke in the middle of all of this. Kurt, however, only appeared for just a second, as he carefully sat down an elderly woman on the ground before he was gone again in the same thick cloud of smoke. He was back inside the house. Peter didn't need to see him in there to know it and apparently, Stefan came to the very same conclusion as he let out a little curse in German. Just like him, he wanted to jump out of the car to intervene, but for once, it was Peter who grabbed Stefan's shoulder to hold him back.

»Maybe we should go back.« He quietly offered as his eyes were still glued to the inferno that was the farmhouse by now. He could see the flashing lights of the oncoming trucks of the fire department and the ambulances. Of course, the louder part of his brain wanted to run into that house to make sure that his lover was alright, but instead, he grabbed the steering wheel and started the engine up again. »He can handle himself.«

And yet, Peter waited the agonizingly long second it took Kurt to reappear outside again until he turned around the car to drive back to the circus.

※※※※※※※

Kurt felt like coughing out his lungs as he let go of the younger daughter, Ingrid. She stumbled right into the arms of her family as her big sister caught her and pulled her close while Kurt was wheezing and braced his hands against his knees for support as he felt he might collapse otherwise. He hardly even noticed the officers at first as they came rushing towards him. All he heard were the sirens of the fire truck and the ambulance that were rushing down the country road towards the farm.

Had he been able to do anything against the fire he would have. »How did you escape?« One of the officers asked and his voice alone told Kurt everything he needed to know about the state of confusion and the shock he was in.

Kurt could hardly form an answer in time as the oldest daughter came to his rescue, her sister still in her arms and her face wet with tears. »He is a teleporter! Don't you know that? You have seen it before during his performances, Hans! Or were you too drunk after all the booze you had with Werner to realize it?«

»He saved us!« Ingrid now hiccupped as Kurt dropped onto his butt on the dirt ground a sly smile playing on his lips.

»Why that was definitely a first for me. I think my fur got scorched...«

The police officers did not seem to share his kind of humor as they approached him carefully now as if Kurt might lash out on them with his claws or his tail. One of them, the taller and meaner cop, _Hans_ , seemed ready to either shoot him or handcuff him right away. Instinctively, Kurt raised his one good hand in surrender as he faced the police officers with the most guilty looking face he could muster in the current situation after he had just saved two women from a burning house. He felt not at all guilty, of course, but if it helped the officers to not shoot him, so be it.

»I am ready to go back in now.« Kurt carefully teased and with a _bamf_ and the smell of sulfur he was in the back of the car again and flashed them his most dorky toothy grin. As one of the officers stepped closer to the car again, it was of all people the old Mr. Müller who stepped closer towards them.

»What are you doing with the boy?« He demanded to know and Kurt was amazed that he found it in him to find any interest in Kurt’s situation as his home was burning to a crisp in front of him. A whole life destroyed on a whim and yet the old man focused on this stupid little situation.

»He is claimed to be dangerous. There have been numerous reports of robberies and attacks in the neighborhood. We need to take him into police custody until we have cleared this situation up.« Hans replied with a dark frown on his face, but Kurt looked passed them all and to the ambulance men that were checking on Ingrid and her mother now. Had he gotten them out quick enough?

»Kurt?« Mila exclaimed as she stepped forward, her hands clenched into shaking little fists.

»That boy is as dangerous as a hamster!« Mr. Müller replied almost affronted as he gestured towards the car and the window of the backseat where Kurt sat. »I know him since he just started to crawl! That boy is _not_ dangerous.«

»But  he-«

»Maybe the person who called us was wrong, Hans.« The shorter of the two officers suddenly sighed. »I mean, if he really is dangerous, why has he not teleported away already? He could have fled easily at any point. We should let him go.«

»Werner was sure it was him, Jens.« Hans now hissed in a whisper, but Kurt could understand every word.

»Werner is a drunken idiot, Hans. Come on, he just saved those women.« So they were friends with Werner. He had been right. The worst thing about all of this was, however, that Peter was right. Peter had been right from the start. Those accidents had not been accidents at all. It was hardly a surprise, really. He had known it, but he had not wanted to admit it. Had he admitted it, had he recognized the accidents for what they really were, it would have made the whole thing real. It was much easier to feign ignorance and act as if everything was still fine and dandy as if they were still one big happy family that sometimes had a few quarrels here and there.

This, however, was more than the usual banter between people that were living together in such a small cramped up space like the circus. Werner had sabotaged his acts, but to what end? Murder? He was not a complete idiot. He would have known that Kurt would teleport into safety. And yet, his actions had hurt Amanda and had Kurt not been quick enough, she would have died. This was the point of no return and the point when it stopped to be all fun and games even for someone as patient as Kurt. He did not care for his own injuries in this matter, but he started to care when innocents got hurt.

After the discussion outside was fading off, the Jens, the shorter of the two officers, opened the door of the car only to lean on the now open door with a flustered smile on his face. »Maybe you are innocent after all.« He stated warily. »And we owe you our thanks for saving those people.«

»Nothing to thank me for.« He shrugged and forced his face into a smile even though he did not feel like it. »It was the right thing to do. Everyone with powers as mine would have done the same.« He murmured before he slowly got out of the car and glanced at the Müller family. They were all treated by the ambulance men now while the firefighters at least tried to extinguish the raging inferno. A whole life destroyed on a whim. It was gruesome to watch. »And it wasn't the first time I got persecuted just because I am a mutant either. Don't worry, I get it. I look scary, I look dangerous. But maybe you should choose more wisely who to believe next time. The real monsters usually hide behind the faces of angels.« He scoffed at his own words. »Funny. I once knew an angel. He was an asshole.«

As Kurt arrived back at the circus, the whole place was in turmoil and it did not take too long for him to make out the source. A knot of people had gathered right in front of the big tent. As Kurt approached, he could see Amanda’s strawberry blonde hair stand out from the crowd, but he also saw Stefan and his mother and, most importantly, the flash of silver hair that indicated that this was the place to find his boyfriend. Clearly, there was an argument unfolding judging by the level of noise coming from the small crowd. His first instinct was to barge in and try to resolve the situation, but then he decided to linger just within earshot to hear what was going on.

He was glad to see that Peter had not come after him to rescue him from the clutches of the police. Apparently, he finally understood that Kurt was able to look after himself. Well, that was a plus. What wasn't so much of a good thing, however, was that his boyfriend and his brother were apparently in a fight with Werner. And the reason for this fight, became all too clear all too quickly, as Kurt stepped closer.

»Just admit it, you fucking asshole!« Peter shouted and through the crowd Kurt could see how Peter grabbed Werner by the collar of his white t-shirt. »First, you tried to kill him and now you sick the police on him! And why? Because you are that much of a wuss that you can't deal with him being back here and in the limelight? Is that it? Or is it because your girlfriend broke up with you for him? You are such a fucking loser!« His voice was but a dangerous low growl as he shoved Werner backward.

Kurt teleported onto a pile of wooden boxes right next to them and sat there with crossed legs, leaning back on his good hand and grinned mockingly down at the people now watching him in surprise. »Why hello there. Is there a party going on without me? I’m affronted.«

»Kurt!« His sister gasped. »You’re back! Did you break out already?« He was down from the crates in another flash of smoke that made a few of the people, including Werner, who seemed just as shocked and surprised, cough a little.

»Oh yes, I did!« He laughed. »And the story of my escape is a marvelous one at that! Dragons, knights, and princesses included - Oh and of course pirates!« He tried a flamboyant little bow as he stepped towards Peter. There was still fury in his lover’s eyes as he grabbed him by the forearm hard enough that Peter would realize that it was enough fighting for one day and just so gently that no one would suspect a thing.

As if his mother was reading his mind she clapped her hands and threw her youngest son a small glance. »All of you, don't you have work to do? Come on! There is still a lot to do and a storm is coming.«

His mother’s words broke the spell and the others started to slowly walk away. Werner, however, was the first to vanish in the crowd as they all walked off, leaving only the mutants, mother and sister. »Is everything alright?« Peter was quicker than either one of the two women as he pulled Kurt closer. He was just as possessive as always as he put both hands on the sides of his face to look at him just as if to make sure that Kurt was still complete and that was nothing missing. Kurt could hardly suppress the small grin that slowly crept up on his face.

»I'm still in one piece.« He smirked although the events of the day were still ingrained in his bones.

»What happened? I mean … how did you get out of that situation?«

»I just told them that I am not dangerous at all.«

Of course, he had expected the puzzled looks that he got from the other three, but Kurt shrugged it off and instead grabbed Peter by the wrist. »Everything's a-okay.« He smirked. »And I expect you to keep teaching me your witchcraft.« He then turned to his sister before he pulled Peter a little away from the tent. »But I think I need a little break first.« He added before he left with Peter.

»Is your fur scorched, Babe?« Peter finally asked and smelled a little at him. »You smell like fire … So will you tell me everything or not?«

As they slowly walked towards their trailer, Peter flung his arm around his waist to pull him closer and although he didn't say a thing, Kurt was almost sure that Peter knew more than he let on. »You followed me, right?« Kurt sighed and rolled his eyes as Peter tried to look as unsuspicious as humanly possible. It didn't work, of course. In all those years, Peter’s acting had seemingly all but gotten worse. »So you did.« He smirked. »And you know that there was a fire. Why didn't you do anything? I mean, why didn't you come and help?«

»I thought you had everything under control.« Peter smirked, but then he couldn't help but sigh as they stopped again right in front of their trailer. »Listen« He let go of his waist and instead he grabbed his right shoulder gently and stepped in front of him. »I’m sorry, Kurt. My first impulse was to follow you and break you out of that car. But then I saw you teleport out of that burning house with this woman and I understood that you don't need my help. I felt stupid for wanting to protect you again, after all, it was pretty clear, that you don’t need help to get out of a situation like this. I know that I sometimes overdo it, but that's just…«

»It's your personality.« Kurt smirked. »Your nature is very protective. It always were. You protected your sister, even your mother and then you found me. And yes, I needed protection in the beginning. I was so naive and oblivious. I’m not angry at you because of it. It’s only natural to want to protect the person you love most. I’m no better than you in this regard.«

»Anyway, I understand it now, Babe, and I promise you that I try to tone it down in the future. I’ll always have your back, Elf - and when you say that those accidents were accidents and no sabotage, I believe you. Rigging can break, I get it. Stuff like this happens, I get it. Werner is an asshat, but that does not mean he had tried to kill you, I get it.«

»It was sabotage.«

»I fucking knew it!«

Kurt laughed at this. Somehow this whole situation was hilarious to him and he did not even know why. »You know what, _Babe_? You can kick Werner’s ass tomorrow and I will not hold you back. He was the asshole who called the cops. Well … at least that's what I assume. The cops were his drinking buddies or something like this. Werner just had to call and say that I was dangerous and given my looks and the prejudice mutants face these days, they were all too eager to jump on that train and get me arrested. Nobody would have asked any questions as to why they would lock me up anyway.«

»I don't know if I can hold back that long. If I see his stupid ugly face one more time today, I’ll rip it off.« Peter growled and Kurt had no doubts that Peter would follow through with that threat. Surely, Werner would try and stay as far away as possible now.

»I have enough of fighting for the day.« Kurt smiled before stealing a kiss from Peter’s lips because he knew that Peter would not dare to do anything stupid then. »Let's get some rest before dinner.« They didn't get very far though. The second that Peter and he walked up to the trailer’s door, he heard steps crunching on the ground behind him and then the familiar voice of his brother demanding his attention.

»Kurt!« He almost stopped dead in his tracks. Peter turned around halfway, but Kurt needed a moment longer to react to his brother and he only did so as Peter nudged him gently. Kurt swallowed a sigh before he turned around to look at Stefan who stared at him like a guilt-ridden golden retriever. »Can we talk?«

»I leave you two to it.« Peter murmured quietly close to his ear before he vanished into the trailer. The truth was, he wanted to be bitter as he faced his big brother now. He really did. He wanted to act like a scorned wife and never talk to his brother again, but then, with yet another sigh, he gestured towards the forest. »Care for a walk then?«

His brother followed him without saying a word until they had dived into the forest where they could talk in private. Of course, there was nothing that no one was supposed to witness, but still, somehow Kurt felt the need to do it this way in private where no one could interfere with their little conversation.

»Kurt« Stefan finally begun again as they walked side by side. Through the canopy of leaves the sky looked grey and carried the promise of another thunderstorm just as his mother had warned. It was no surprise, of course, this was Germany, after all and here no summer was complete without monsoon like rain storms once every week. He couldn't help but think about the Müllers and how they were going to cope now. They should probably help them, right? »Kurtie, I want to apologize.«

»Well, that’s new.« He snarled and bared his teeth instinctively, but his brother didn't flinch.

»I mean it, baby brother. I behaved like a total douchebag and I’m sorry.« Kurt was inclined to believe his brother for the truly remorseful tone of his voice, but still he wanted to be a bit more careful. He didn't want to be too trusting, even though Stefan was his brother, even though they had grown up together, even though he had looked up to him his entire life. No. _Because_ of all of this. Because he had trusted him, because he had looked up to him, because they had grown up together and because Stefan had turned his back to him. And why? Only because Kurt was even more different than he had been aware for all those years. »I shouldn't have reacted the way I did.«

His tail was now gently moving from side to side like a lethargic windshield wiper, betraying the way he wanted to act. »So where did that come from?«

»Kurt, I know that what I did was wrong and that I should have reacted better to it.« With a sigh his brother drove a hand through his cropped blonde hair in frustration. »Hell, even Amanda reacted calm to these news and she knew it way before me! You turned her down and still she took it with great dignity and love even. And here am I, your big brother, who always protected you and who was always on your team, and that's how I chose to react … That was weak and awful and I am so sorry, little Elf. There’s nothing I can say except this.«

»You know … I looked at this travel to Germany a little like my own secret crusade.« He chuckled as he interrupted the flood of apologies coming out of his brother’s mouth. »I wanted to see my country again, without fear, without being ashamed of myself and I wanted to tell my family who I really am and who I love more than anything. My first stop in this mission was at the church and there I told Father Michael. I thought that he would surely condemn me, but he didn't. He opened his house for us and took us in like a good Christian is supposed to, but he did not do it because it was his duty from God but because of his unconditional love for any human - or in my case, non-human - being. This gave me hope and I came here nervous but with hope in my heart that my family would not reject me. Try to imagine my surprise as I was blessed with the understanding and love of my family after they knew the truth. And try to imagine my devastation as I learned that the person I least feared would reject me did exactly that. It was bittersweet.«

As he stopped and looked at Stefan now it was clear that his brother was more guilt-ridden than any golden retriever who stole half a chocolate cake could ever be. After all these years, it was still so easy to read his brother’s face. »Of course, I was hurt by your reaction and I won’t lie to you - but you are still my big brother and I still love you and want you in my life for guidance.«

»And you still need someone who can kick your boyfriend’s ass if he ever misbehaves or hurts you. For what else does one need a big brother?« Stefan then asked with a little smirk on his face even though it looked a lot more unsure than it would usually have been as if he not yet dared to poke fun already. »I mean … the same thing I told Mandy back in the day, right?«

»Good job you did there with Werner…« Kurt mocked his older brother before he nudged his shoulder gently. He would need more time to get over his brother’s reaction, but still, he loved Stefan and he would not be Kurt Wagner would he not find it in himself to forgive his big brother.

****

**-End of Chapter 9-**


	10. Epilog

**August 1986 - Munich, Germany**

It was a hot day in August as Kurt Wagner became increasingly more aware of the way Pietro Maximoff stared at him instead of doing his actual work. »Are you still pouting?« Kurt snickered as he wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his right hand. Would he have both hands to work with everything would go much faster, he guessed. But since his left arm was still out of commission, there was no reason to whine about the fact. He could just wait for his shoulder to heal and not complain.

»I'm not pouting.« Peter scoffed from the ladder beside him as he lowered the hammer a bit. »I'm just saying … She didn't _have_ to grab your ass, you know?«

Kurt almost dropped the paintbrush into the bucket of paint he was using to paint the window frames white. He couldn't help much with just one hand and his tail, but he could at least paint the window frames and hold Peter’s bucket with nails with his tail. The soundscape was filled with the sounds of hammering and the noise of a buzz saw. After the most recent summer storm, the sky looked a beautiful azure blue again and the sun shone down on them brightly and hot. One positive effect of the hot weather was that Peter was working topless, like most of the guys around.

Quite a few long weeks had passed since he dislocated his shoulder and now the summer was drawing to a close, at least for Peter and him. They needed to go back home soon and although a part of him was glad to see the school and their room again, a part of him felt sad. It was bittersweet, he guessed and until now he had never quite understood what people meant when they used that word. But at least now when he would leave he would leave knowing that his family had his back and that he could come home as often as he liked. Maybe he would want to come back every summer even, help out in the circus and go back to his shows just for the summer.

»It was just for support.« He grinned. »And you are _jealous_.« And it was pretty obvious that Peter was a bit jealous. Of course, Amanda knew how to pull Peter’s strings and she enjoyed doing so, especially when it involved teasing Kurt too while doing so. Maybe it was weird for some people, but Kurt and Amanda were cool with each other for the first time since Amanda had hit puberty. This morning Amanda had once again tried to teach him the silk ropes. They had made a little bit of progress too in the last weeks, but with just one arm and his tail, he had needed a chair for extra support. They would start slowly and Amanda didn't like the idea at all. Kurt, however, was too stubborn to let it go. He wanted those things back in school too. He wanted his own gym for mutants like him and for that he would need to be able to teach them these skills. Still, learning all of this with one arm, he needed the help of his big sister and for that she needed to sometimes push him up by his bum just like when they had been kids. At least her comments were still the same every time as they had been when they were kids.

Peter did not take too kindly to Amanda’s help, though. He always just stood there with crossed arms and a sour face as if he had consumed a whole bucket of lemons all at once. »I’m proud of you.« Peter suddenly decided to catch his attention and it worked as Kurt looked up to his boyfriend with a sly little grin. »Without you, we wouldn't have gotten so far.«

As Kurt looked at what Peter meant, he felt a flutter of pride in his stomach too, although he usually tried not to let this feeling become too prevalent. Pride was a sin and he was still working on conquering it. Still, he _was_ proud and there was no way of denying that. The old farmhouse of the Müller family had been burned down to the grounds after a malfunctioning light bulb had caused the fire that Kurt had witnessed. In old houses like this something like this was not too uncommon and although some of the other people of the circus had claimed that it was their own fault for never renovating their 1930’s house, most of the others had followed Kurt's call for help.

The Müllers had always been good to them in the past and to Kurt, it was only natural that they were bound to help them now too, not because they could gain something like this from the family, not because of some contract, but because of human nature and sympathy. By now, there was a new house standing where the old one had stood before. The Carney folk had traveled into the city and used their relationships to their advantage. Together they had managed to get a building company involved almost for free and they had helped wherever they could.

Kurt didn't know if they would see it finished before they would need to leave for America, but it was a good feeling to see that the Müllers had hope again. Peter and he had distributed self-made flyers in town and after the shows, asking for help for the farm, for donations of clothes and supplies and by now things were looking up again for the family. Every day someone came to bring clothes or food, some men even came to help after work.

Things like this brought people closer together and it was a warm fuzzy feeling to see that. »You know what?« Kurt sighed as he dunked his paintbrush again only to look up at Peter and meet his boyfriend’s warm brown eyes as he looked down on them, his grey hair ruffled from constantly brushing a hand through it and beady of sweat running down his face and chest. »I’m proud too.«

※※※※※※※

Sometimes he felt like he was getting old already despite the fact that he was only twenty-seven years old by now. Still, he felt like other twenty-seven-year-old guys would do other things, maybe party the whole night long or drink and sleep around, but Peter was perfectly contempt in just lying here on this way too soft mattress in this tiny circus trailer with his boyfriend sleeping peacefully beside him.

The sun was already creeping up on the horizon and soon the circus would come to life around them again and the spell would be broken like the most fragile spider web in a storm, so Peter decided to just enjoy the moment while it lasted. Through the slightly opened windows of the trailer, fresh air was coming inside. It smelled heavenly like wet grass after last night's rainstorm had hit the campsite pretty hard with thunder roaring above their heads, but now the birds were chirping again and the world was peaceful for once. This was their last day of waking up in this trailer together and somehow Peter was dreading going back to their old routine again. Although they had worked hard in the last few weeks around the campsite and the farmhouse, it still had felt a little like vacation and he had enjoyed every minute of it.

Kurt gave a little hum as he stretched in his sleep and snuggled up closer, leaning his head against Peter’s shoulder. Soon they would start college together and everything would become different for them, he guessed. But they would always be able to go back to the school and always be X-Men. They would get involved in dangerous missions again and Peter would have to worry about his elf again every time. Gladly, his hair was already grey.

Three days ago, the doc that sometimes came down to them from the nearest township had checked on Kurt's shoulder again and decided that he was allowed to use his arm again, finally. He did not quite know if that was a good thing. Kurt tended to get himself in trouble when he got two arms. As he was now sneaking his left arm around Peter’s waist underneath their blanket, however, Peter was quite glad that he had his arm back even though that mischievous tail always tried to make up for it as was evident even now as it was snaking down Peter’s left leg again.

Another thing he liked about the Carney folk was that no one really cared about nudity. So Peter sleeping in the nude was not a problem for anyone except Stefan maybe whenever they overslept and he would barge in to remind them of their duties. Now that he and Kurt were inseparable again he seemed adamant to test his brother’s boyfriend to no end. To him, it was scandalous that Kurt was sleeping next to a naked man. If he would know who instigated most of their trysts he would rather want to protect Peter and would probably stop thinking of his baby brother as an angel.

Kurt was far removed from being an innocent little blue fuzzy angel. Yet, everyone always blamed Peter for some reason.

As he now felt how Kurt’s long fingers gently brushed over his ribs to trace them cautiously he hummed in content and pressed a small kiss to his forehead. »I could get used to waking up like this.«

»I thought you already did…« Kurt murmured against his naked skin as he snuggled closer and got even more comfortable as if that would be possible now as Peter closed both his arms around him. He was not even surprised that Kurt was already awake despite his eyes being closed. He was probably awake for a long time already. It was moments like this when he would just enjoy their closeness, enjoy having Kurt snuggled against his chest, one of his long legs sneaking between his own, the slight drizzle of rain against a window and just the serene calmness of the whole situation.

»Didn't the weather forecast say it would be sunny and hot today?« Peter hummed as he craned his neck to have a glance outside only to confirm what he had heard before.

»Lies« Kurt replied quietly. »They all lie. That’s all they ever do, Honey, sorry to burst your bubble.«

»Bastards.« Kurt chuckled and the feeling so close to his skin sent shivers down his spine. »So, today is the big day, huh?« As much as he didn't like to leave this place, at least a small part of him was looking forward to seeing the school and their friends again. Their vacation was over today and they needed to go back to work. Maybe they would come back next year. He could only hope as much, but before they could even think about something like this, they had to say goodbye to this place and the good time they had here.

He had learned many new things and even though their friends had been spending their holidays at the beach or just doing nothing at all, he was glad that he and Kurt had spent theirs here, working and learning. Hell, by now Peter had even made progress with his German, all thanks to Mama Margali and her stern teaching.

»Yeah…« He sounded sad, of course, he did, so he pressed another kiss to his boyfriend's head as if that would be enough of a help for him.

»Yeah…« He repeated. »And I'm just as sad as you are, Baby. But we’ll come back.« Before he could do much about it, Kurt was suddenly on top of him, straddling his hips and leaning down to steal one feverish kiss from his lips, as hungry as if they hadn't seen each other in years. Peter could not do much except grabbing his neck and pulling him closer as he did his best to respond to the kiss that was robbing him of his breath pretty quickly.

Kissing Kurt was always like dancing the tango. It was always a battle for dominance, always a fight, sometimes more playful, sometimes more serious, never lazy, never sloppy, never boring and it always only ended when one of them would need to catch their breath. This time it was Peter. »Not that I’m complaining, but to what do I owe this?«

»I don't know.« Kurt breathed before the old impish little grin sneaked onto his face again. »Just for being here with me, I guess? I think I haven't thanked you yet for coming with me to this place.«

»No biggie. I couldn't have let you go alone, could I? You tend to get yourself in trouble when you go alone somewhere.« A small punch against his right biceps was the proper retaliation to this insolent comment and he knew that he had earned it.

»Usually, it's you who gets himself in trouble every time you go somewhere alone.« Kurt replied with a sly little grin before he leaned down again to gently bite Peter’s bottom lip.

»True.« He snickered. »Still, no biggie. You would have done the same thing for me too.«

»Of course, I would have and yet I want to thank you. I can imagine that it's not easy for you to see me and my family and see how relatively good they reacted to my coming out. I wished your mother would be the same, you know? That she learns to come to terms with the reality of all of this and that she at least tries to understand it at last.« Kurt was always cautious not to talk about Peter’s mother if he could avoid it. He was always so thoughtful of Peter and his feelings and how it might be for him seeing a happy family and not having one himself. Would he be younger and their relationship more fragile, he would probably be affronted. Peter had never liked being babied or being coddled. He could deal with those things and emotions and yet, yes, he was thankful for Kurt’s thoughtfulness.  

»I already told you numerous times that it's not your fault, Babe.« He sighed quietly but gently brushed his fingertips now over the naked skin of Kurt's sides as he sat on top of him and rested his hands on Peter's chest. »Me and my mom … We never had the close bond you and your mom have. It’s okay, really, Baby. I have Wanda. I have my baby sister and that’s more than enough.«

»And now you have my family too.« Kurt replied with a little grin playing on his lips again. It was the truth, though and they both knew it. The Circus family had adopted Peter like a stray puppy dog and it was a good feeling. Until now, the only thing that had ever come close to feeling like family had been the X-Men. Peter paused before replying, but before he did, he grabbed Kurt by the waist to turn their position around again and pin him down on the mattress with a low grunt.

»You are just soooo sappy, you big ball of floof.«

The thing with Stefan Szardos and why he always barged in on them doing naughty things was that Stefan never knocked on their door before barging in but that was something he would never admit of course. Still, the shocked gasp coming from the trailer door told the tale of a man flustered once more. »For Christ’s sake, you guys!«

As Peter cast a look over his shoulder towards the door, he just saw how Stefan put his hand over his eyes so that he wouldn't see what was going on anymore. Oh, sweet summer child. »You could knock, you know?« Peter grinned before he climbed down from Kurt again to sit next to him on the mattress. At least he took care that the blanket covered his groin but that was the most he could do for Stefan. Well, now he was the evil dude anyway again, right?

Stefan just continued to be the ridiculous big brother he usually was, always defending the honor of his little siblings as he continued to have a hand over his eyes. Kurt only rolled his eyes at the display but instead of doing anything useful, Kurt just curled up beside Peter again and pulled the blanket higher, unfazed by all of this. »Well, you could just stop doing things like this in the morning.«

»Doing what?«

»This!« He gestured blindly towards the bed and the evil little grin on Peter's face only spread wider.

»Oh, you mean doing your brother?« The punch against his leg was worth the reaction of Stefan who turned a bright red at the sole imagery that Peter’s word had conjured up in his brain.

»Anyway, Mom wants to see you guys for breakfast on your last day, so get your asses moving already.« With that the big brother left their trailer again and closed the door not too silently or gently, leaving Kurt only snickering evilly.

»You enjoy this, don't you?« Peter grinned. »You enjoy that your brother thinks I am the bad guy who always seduces his baby brother against his will, right?«

»Maybe a little.« Kurt grinned sheepishly up at him and his black curls hung loosely in his face, underlining his sleepiness that now came back with a heavy blow, apparently. »And maybe I’ve seen him coming?« He pointed just ever so slightly at the open window right above their bed. »Maybe.«

»Maybe you are the evil little imp everyone thinks you are.«

»Maybe. But it's impossible for you to prove that.« Kurt replied as he pressed a kiss to Peter’s hip that he could reach from his position easily.

»Not if I would have Jean’s mind reading skills.« Peter smirked. »But to your luck, I don't have them.« With a final sigh, Peter finally started to crawl out of the comfortable bed one last time. »Come on now, Elf, before someone else barges in and stares at my ass in horror.«

»I don't get why they would. It's a perfectly nice ass.«

※※※※※※※

Despite the slight drizzle of rain since morning hit and woke up the circus, the day quickly turned out to be nice and sunny instead after they finished breakfast all together for one last time. It all felt so surreal as if Peter and he would not leave to go back to America again as if they would just go back to their by now established routine of helping out around the circus as if the kids would soon rush him for their yoga practice at any minute.

In truth, their bags were packed and ready for their departure, the marquee of the trailer wound-up and the trailer itself tidied and cleaned. Everything was ready for them to leave and yet it felt strange. As Kurt found himself standing in front of the trailer that was no longer his but theirs, with his bag slung over his right shoulder he didn't want to leave.

They would drive through the night back to Stuttgart, as they had decided earlier so that they could enjoy dinner with the whole circus family one last time, but now that this was over and the sky already starting to grow dark, a part of him was looking for different excuses to stay longer. Only as Peter sneaked his arm around his waist and pressed a kiss against his temple, he managed to snap out of it. »You ready, Elf? I called Professor X and told him that we are about to leave for Stuttgart so that he can take care of the tickets.«

Whether he liked it or not, they needed to get going now and he knew it. So, Kurt took another deep breath and nodded. Lingering about would not make it easier for him and he knew that. »Yeah. Let's go, we have a long drive ahead of us.« His steps felt a lot heavier as they were turning their backs to the trailer now and walked through the campsite one last time.

They already said their goodbyes to everyone during dinner, the only people left now who would probably be waiting for them at the gate were his mother, Amanda, and Stefan. Everything was taken care of, everything was in order. Almost, at least. He wished he could be around longer to help with the farmhouse. He wished he could have settled things with Werner, but the guy had decided it would be best to avoid him and Peter all together as much as humanly possible after everything. The accusations against Werner had never been brought up again.

Maybe it was better like this. Maybe not everything had to be settled. Maybe he should just go and be the bigger person. In the past, the old Kurt would not have had a problem with this, but the Kurt Wagner who was an X-Man had. He was no longer the little boy who let himself get bullied because he wouldn't dare to fight back and leaving now without having settled this thing with Werner felt like he was losing a battle. It felt a bit like back in the day when he had not dared to fight back against his bully. He was letting Werner win, didn't he? He was leaving this place without confronting him about the sabotage and the police.

As they walked around the big tent and came closer towards the gate, suddenly, he noticed a person lingering in the shadows by the ring toss booth. Werner’s silhouette was unmistakable even in the dim light now. »Are you fags finally leaving? Was about time. I thought you would never go again. I thought your little group of spandex wearing wanna-be hero freaks didn't want you guys back, after all.« Werner spat as he took another swipe from the bottle in his hand.

»I’m touched to see that you are that concerned for us.« Kurt scoffed before Peter could say something stupid. He didn't wish to get this whole situation fired up unnecessary. He didn't wish to provoke a fight with Werner now. But he would not back down either. Not now, not so shortly before he would leave the country. »But I can assure you that we have a place to go back to, Werner, and friends who wait for us to come back, even a life and a future to look forward to. We are going to be teachers, you know? Mentors for other kids like us.«

»And why in the world are you telling me this? Do you think I care?« Werner scoffed as he spit on the ground in front of his own feet. He was clearly drunk already, but Kurt knew that this usually only made him more dangerous.

»Because that's more you ever going to have in your sorry life and we both know this.« He then snarled back at his former bully. »Just as well as we all know that it was you who sabotaged the rigging and who called the cops on me out of jealousy. And look what it brought you: Nothing at all.« As he saw how Werner bared his teeth and came closer he felt the instinct of his youth to just teleport out of harm’s way and yet he did not do it. Instead, he kept his ground and crossed his arms. »Well, I have to revise my judgment on this. The others know what you did and they are not too keen on you and your presence here ever since. You did not just endanger me but Amanda and everyone else who could have fallen prey to your traps. You betrayed your family. You know, as a child, I was too afraid to face you, but I’m not that Kurt any longer and you better start treating me like everyone else.«

»Or what?«

»Or you’ll get on my bad side and that, I can assure you, you don't want. If you ever dare to hurt or endanger any member of my family ever again, I’ll rip you apart, do you understand? I’m no longer afraid of my powers and of who I am.«

»You are still nothing but a monster.«

»Maybe I am, but all the more you shouldn't provoke me, because this monster right here has claws and teeth and is not shy to use them on assholes like you.« It felt good as he turned his back to Werner finally. It felt like he had been lifted of a weight and all of this without landing a single punch. »I’m glad that my sister dumped you. She deserves way better than you.«

Before Peter could even warn him or do something, Kurt was fully aware that Werner was coming after him. He didn't flinch and he didn't teleport away, he just stepped to the side and made the big oaf fall over his tail so that he landed face first in one of the little puddles that were left after last night's storm. The sound of Werner falling and landing with a splash was like music to his ears and it was Peter who snorted in amusement.

»You should really watch your step, old friend. The ground is slippery and we don't want to have another accident, do we?« Kurt grinned as he grabbed Peter's hand and moved on. He felt even more satisfied now. Despite what he had thought before, he had not resorted to violence against this man. He had faced Werner like a man, with words and once again it had been Werner who wanted to come at him with violence. This time he was the bigger man and for that, he could leave the circus with a smile on his face.

※※※※※※※

**1990 - Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, Salem, New York**

Unpacking boxes was officially one of his least favorite things to do, but it only came after packing boxes. Unpacking them at least had something positive about a situation. It signified the arrival somewhere and the start of something new. It was hopeful. Packing boxes, on the other hand, was nothing of that, it was just plain boring and boredom was the one thing on this earth he absolutely could not stand even if his life would depend on him being bored. He would much rather die than being bored.

»Stop daydreaming!« As a pillow flew towards his head, Pietro Maximoff was for once too slow to react and thus was rewarded with a full face of downs packaged handily in a soft pink shell. After the small _Uff_ , he rewarded the attack with, he followed the pillow as it fell to the ground in front of his feet. It was really very fluffy and meant to be placed on their small grey couch. Needless to say, Peter detested those pillows.

»I still don't understand why the pillows need to be pink.« He mocked as he turned to face his attacker. Kurt had brought those pillows home a few weeks ago after one of his shopping trips with Jean. She and Scott were moving in next door although Jean was still studying at the University in New York, but since neither Scott nor Peter were that passionate about decorating, she liked to take Kurt on her trips.

»That's not pink, it's purple, you color blind idiot.« Came the immediate response from the door.

»Why purple then?« He snickered before he grabbed the pillow from the ground and threw it back at his attacker.

»Because I like purple.« Kurt laughed as he caught the pillow with his tail before it could hit him in the face like it had hit Peter before.

»You like red.«

»I like purple too.«

»Bullshit. Jean forced you to buy them and you couldn't say no  to her again.« As there was no response this time, Peter counted it as a win for him this time. These days winning against Kurt Wagner, was far from being easy, but it still happened sometimes. »Shouldn't you be in class, anyway, fuzzball?« His boyfriend was leaning in the doorframe of their new home.

The move had not been that big of a deal, Peter suspected, as they had only moved from their student dorm room into the teacher’s dorm on the other side of the Institute, but still, it was a big step. That was what he felt, at the very least. For the first time in his entire life, he really felt as if Kurt and he had made a big leap forward in their life as a couple. They were now no longer just students and X-Men, they were teachers at this Institute and he was no longer just the wayward son of Erik Magneto Lensherr. He was his own man and he had Kurt at his side to keep him on track.

As he looked at Kurt now, he realized how much they had both grown. Just looking at Kurt in his stupid-ass pants and his tweed jacket, it was obvious. »I forgot my bag.« Kurt explained with his usual sheepish little grin and ruffled through his dark hair to mess it up even more. Peter could see that he was nervous and somehow that was insanely cute to witness after all the time Kurt had spent teaching kids already. Kurt Wagner was born to be a teacher and mentor and now that he finally was officially one, he suddenly seemed to have decided that he was terrified of children.

Still, Peter threw a glance over to the armchair Kurt had left his bag on. »Kurt Wagner never forgets anything.« Peter teased, but slowly walked over to the briefcase on the armchair and grabbed it. Unlike Kurt, he was as far removed from being presentable as anyone could ever be. He was still in his pajamas. Well, not _still_ because he was not wearing pajamas to bed, but still, after he had put them on to have breakfast with everyone else without traumatizing his friends.

Kurt's briefcase was as heavy as if he was carrying around an entire library in that bloody thing, yet Peter picked it up and walked over to the door. As he gave the briefcase to Kurt, he could not help but steal a kiss from his lips and feel like a housewife from the 50’s all the while doing so. »You got that, Babe.« He then grinned and gently pushed him out of the doorframe as he already saw Scott walking up to them, looking his usual polished self, ready to go out there and fight the monsters of this school. To Scott ever day was a fight, apparently, even if it was just about teaching children. »Kick their assess, Elf!« He called after him as Kurt slowly walked down the hallway. The little grin Kurt shot him over his shoulder was enough to make Peter shake his head as he closed the door slowly.

Odd.

All of this was nothing short of being odd. He was thirty-one years old, in a stable relationship for six years now. Odd. Yes, that was the perfect word to describe his life, for who would’ve thought that someone like him, a thief, would ever find his happiness in a place like this? For just a moment, he leaned back and let his eyes roam over their room in something akin to awe. It was bigger than the room they had shared as students, was separated in a sleeping area and some sort of living room with a small couch and an armchair, and they had their own bathroom. It was not yet their home, but they would make it theirs as soon as they would have unpacked all the boxes. Soon they would start fighting again about the tiny things in life, like who got to hang up their posters where and about Peter never throwing his socks in the laundry.

His eyes stopped as he saw his old arcade machine that he had stolen from an arcade in the mall in his hometown in the corner of their living room. As he had first moved into the Institute, he had been certain that it would only be for a short time, that he would spend maybe just a few months there until he would get bored of this kind of lifestyle and set rules and order and that he would leave again to be the old slob in his mother's basement. A part of him had maybe even hoped that things would turn out like this because staying the same was easier than changing even the tiniest thing about one’s own life or personality. Still, it had been the best decision he had ever made in his life and not just because of Kurt.

He had a purpose now and a perspective. A life worth living. The old arcade in the corner would always be a reminder of his old self, of the high school dropout with the weird hair who stole just because he could, just as the silver jacket he could not bring himself to get rid of or his old cassette player that was broken for quite a long time by now, but he did not regret having changed so much. He was still Pietro Maximoff, he would still play pranks on his friends, he still got bored easily, he was still restless, and his mind was still racing a hundred miles per hour at all times, but at least now he knew that this was okay and that here was the place where people accepted him for who he was: a hyperactive child in a grown man’s body who was lacking greatly in social skills and was all in all pretty awkward most of the time.

It was a nice feeling. He wouldn't lie, it really was nice. He felt welcomed at this place, he felt accepted. There was no reason to hide anything from anyone. And while the world outside this school seemed to go to shit more and more with each day and while the anti mutant propaganda only grew more and more prevalent each day on the radio and TV, the Institute was a safe haven against all of this.

Here, everyone got a second chance, even criminals like him. Sure, it wasn’t always easy, but it worked as long as they all worked together to make it work. »Better get going myself.« He reminded himself with a soft little sigh as he stepped away from the door and walked towards the bathroom. His own gym class was soon to begin and he better not be too late for once in his life.

****

**-End of Epilog-**


End file.
